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Bi-Polar 16 years son refuses to get tested. Now what can I do?


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Old 02-25-2011, 05:46 PM   #1
sun1049
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Bi-Polar 16 years son refuses to get tested. Now what can I do?

My ex husband is bi-polar, however during our 20 year relationship he never showed any signs due to his daily lithium medication. My 16 year is showing all kinds of signs of being bi-polar, however he has already self diagnosed himself, therefore he refuses to go to a professional to get tested. He says "Why? Then the phychiatrist is only going to want to put on medication and I do not want to be on any medicine. The medicines are no good for you.... What can I do as a parent if I have a child who I am watching go up and down, destroying the balance in our home where my 9 and 13 year old live too. It is really starting to cause resentment the time, energy it takes from me and the bad attitude and irresponsibility. What can I do?

Slewis

 
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Old 02-27-2011, 05:29 PM   #2
Titchou
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Re: Bi-Polar 16 years son refuses to get tested. Now what can I do?

Seriously, you're the parent. Be one. Take him to the doctor. Tell him he has to take the meds if they are prescribed. Take charge! BE the parent! I know it's tough to do but he's your son and he deserves, and the rest of your family deserves, a proper life.

 
Old 02-28-2011, 04:57 PM   #3
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Re: Bi-Polar 16 years son refuses to get tested. Now what can I do?

I think the tough love approach is one to try. Be direct, make an appointment for him (at his age, you'd have to be involved no matter who initiated the contact with the Dr.) tell him that you have a concern and that he'll have to at least see a Dr.

At his age, the reality is if he refuses to take meds, you'd be hard pressed to force him. You can take away privileges, and with the common teen obsessions of computers, tv and driving, that may be enough. I would think you could also try explaining, encouraging and asking him to 'do the right thing'. At 16, your relationship is already morphing from one of control to one of influence. In two years, he'll be able to do as he wishes, at least legally if not logistically.

The approach you try will probably depend on your relationship with him so far. Do you usually talk things out? And, more importantly, does he listen to you? Sure, he's not listening right now, but if you have a pattern of him accepting your influence, perhaps now is the time to turn up the heat. If , on the other had, you've lead in a more authoritarian manner, you may need to go for it and see if you can not only lead the horse to water, but also make him drink.

Good luck! I think the important thing difficult as it is, you try something. You have two younger children watching and counting on you to take care of their best interest. It would be a tragedy if you sacrificed the balance of your home to bipolar disorder.

 
Old 02-28-2011, 11:07 PM   #4
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Re: Bi-Polar 16 years son refuses to get tested. Now what can I do?

First, I'd meet with the doctor to discuss the matter and get a fresh perspective. Second, realize you CAN'T make him do anything. People here stating that do not understand your son's mind. Third, lay out all of the pro's and con's with your child. Make him a part of the solution. Biggest problem today is, we either want the child to make all of the decisions or the parent wants to make all the decisions.

Put simply, you have to approach this together. Now, that's not to say there won't be consequences on his part. Have you tried to solicit feedback and support from your ex? Have you explained to your son if he chooses to behave as he does, he may have to live with his father?

Last edited by bprapcyc; 02-28-2011 at 11:08 PM.

 
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