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How to deal with mental disease? (long txt)

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Old 08-23-2011, 07:19 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: USA
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juancarlos331 HB User
Unhappy How to deal with mental disease? (long txt)

I am certain my mother has an undiagnosed mental disorder. Here are a list of some of her symptoms and episodes. It sounds like Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD) to me, but I am not qualified to make that diagnosis. I figure asking other people for help is the best I can do though. I am at my wits end, every day is a struggle.
She is:
1) Is in house almost constantly. Fears she cannot leave for any amount of time or I will go nuts. This is extremely detrimental to her well-being, as she never gets out to relax, and has fairly few friends or activities that she sees/does outside of the house.

2) Hypocondriac- Believes she is allergic to: milk, eggs, rubber, elastic, latex, mould, asprin, down, straws, corn (corn syrup, corn starch, ect). I have done tests to see if she is actually allergic to many of these things, and she is not.

3) She pulled over in the car because she believed she was allergic to the rubber mat beneath her feet, we stopped at some paramedics, they told her she was having a classic panic attack, she laughed, said ďNo, Iím just allergic to rubber, I know my own bodyĒ and left

4) She obsesses over electromagnetic and microwave radiation. She got an EMF reader and measured the measurements all around our entire house and around all of our electronic devices, wrote them down, and told me where it was safe to stand in the house. She keeps the microwave in the garage for fear it will give us all cancer. She freaks out if I am within 10 feet of it while it is turned on.

5) She thinks cars on the street and vans are driving by in coordination, scoping out the neighborhood quite frequently. She keeps track of them and keeps binoculars by her window to watch them.

6) She used to hallucinate people in her room, usually right after she had woken up, she would shriek in the middle of the night quite often. Thankfully she stopped doing that.

7) Quite often she thinks I am saying something when I am totally silent, or imagines she saw a person, and inspects the whole house/car/outdoors looking for them to make sure we are safe

8) Once she freaked out, started hyperventilating, and laid underneath the dining table in the fetal position crying.

9) Another time, I was angry and locked myself in my room for a while. She started panicking and shouted ďNatty come home, please come homeĒ for hours.

10) She over reacts to any act of disdain on my part. If I donít text her for a few hours because I am mad at her, she assumes I am dead, and calls all of my friendsí parents and the police. I threw a flip-flop in another room once (about 20 feet away from her) and she called the police and said that I assaulted her. She thought I was angry because I was smoking crack cocaine in the house. I have never, and will never even consider smoking crack cocaine.

11) She keeps lists of literally EVERYTHING. Her personal hygiene, watering the lawn, dog walks, all my friends and things about them, my personality, the gas in the car and itís mileage, there are literally thousands of pieces of paper throughout our house with lists and lists on them.

12) She thinks I have an anger problem, even though all my anger is directed at her psychotic behavior. I have had to basically babysit her delusions for my entire life, and I have no emotional attachment to her. As such it is extremely difficult dealing with her mental issues on a constant basis, of COURSE I get angry. Only at her though. She doesnít see any of her behaviors as a problem, and I donít even want to bring it up with her anymore, because every time I try she just brings the conversation back to me and the problems she perceives I have. ďIím like that? Well what about you??Ē ect. I think if she ever went to a therapist that she wouldnít get the help that she needs because she wouldnít talk about her delusions with her therapist. To her they seem to be in the background, but to everyone else they are in the foreground.

I canít live in the same house as this crazy person anymore. I donít care about her at all, she barely is able to support herself, and I have another year before I can legally move out. Her psychosis has extremely degraded my ability to feel any love towards family members (her being the only family member I see more than once every few years), and my tolerance of bothersome people. I want her to get help, but I canít stand to be around her or even talk to her for more than a few minutes because her always accusing and suspicious nature takes over immediately.

Can anyone help? I donít know how I can make it another year. After that I am cutting off contact 100%

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slenderella (08-31-2011)
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Old 08-31-2011, 11:53 AM   #2
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della1 HB Userdella1 HB User
Re: How to deal with mental disease? (long txt)

What a terrible situation!

I'm sorry you haven't gotten any answers and I don't think I'm going to be much help since I really only know about Borderline Personality Disorder. I have read a bit about the other ones and she's definitely paranoid, but it also sounds like she might be schizophrenic. You need to talk to a professional. Are there any mental health services near you? Some free phone number to call?

It sounds like she needs to be medicated and you need to get away from her. At least you sound like you know what you're doing and have a good head on your shoulders. Keep us posted!

Old 08-31-2011, 03:14 PM   #3
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Mihral21 HB User
Re: How to deal with mental disease? (long txt)

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. The stress you feel must be off the charts. It sounds like you're in survival mode; trying to keep your head long enough to find a way out. And frankly I can't blame you. It's difficult if not impossible to set reasonable boundaries when you're trapped in the same house and sharing a life with someone who's mentally ill.

I hope you can hang in there long enough to find an exit strategy. Since it's your mom, you may never be fully disconnected, and perhaps it's not bad to keep some contact if you can stomach the thought. However first things first, it sounds like you desperately need some distance; physical and emotional so that you can allow yourself to heal from the mental battering you've been subjected to for probably much of your life.

Living with someone who is chronically ill is draining. Personally I think a mental illness is particularly trying since it's so hard to see the illness as separate from the person. If it's any consolation, you're not alone, and we're pulling for you. Good luck.

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