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My adult daughter's mental illness is killing me

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Old 10-11-2011, 02:43 PM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Houston, TX
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texasmom13 HB User
Unhappy My adult daughter's mental illness is killing me

My daughter is 29 years old, married (2nd), and has a 1-year old. Since she was about 15, we have had periods of emotional crisis and then some that were relatively crisis-free. At one point she was diagnosed as bipolar and tried out on Lithobid, and Depacote. Then the psychiatrist decided it was more of a clinical depression than typical bipolar, so she was put on Zoloft. A move to another city required a change of doctors and the new doc decided she also had adult ADD. She was given Adderall and then Strattera, and switched to Cymbalta for the depression. After marriage #1 disintegrated partly due to her depression and mood swings, she met hubby #2 and got pregnant. Needless to say, the mood swings were much worse during pregnancy. In addition to all of this, at some point during her first marriage, she got addicted to pain meds given to her after an accident. This, of course, did not help with her depression or mood swings. It was such a major addiction that her ob/gyn doctor kept her on a regulated dosage of hydrocodone during her pregnancy rather than risk the baby having withdrawals in utero.

Once the baby came, back to the psych she went, and was given Adderall again. She got to where she was taking so much Adderall that she was running out before her prescription could be renewed. She resorted to stealing some of her nephew's Adderall. The only good thing about this was that she had to own up to her problem when her sister discovered it. As far as I know, right now she is taking nothing other than the Cymbalta, but she needs help! She sleeps all the time and is very depressed for several days in a row. She talks about how she feels like there is no hope. After about a week of this, she will all of a sudden be in a good mood, talking very fast, etc. I called today to try to help her get an appointment at a new doctor since she doesn't seem to like the other one, but this doctor had no openings for three months! We can't wait that long. I feel like I am losing my mind now from having to deal with this. I love my daughter, but it is exhausting.:

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Old 10-25-2011, 06:32 PM   #2
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Location: Kalamazoo, MI
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stangbov HB User
Re: My adult daughter's mental illness is killing me

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. It is so hard on the loved ones of people with these issues. I just want to say that yesterday my husband and I metwith his new therapist. He has bipolar. I asked her about his incessant talking, you just can't get a word in when he is manic. She said it's called pressured speech and it's a classic symptom of bipolar, so there's something for you to think about. I'm sorry that you can't get an appointment right away, that's somthing that sucks about mental conditions, if it was a physical ailment, I'm sure it would be more of a priority. But this is so important, you have no choice but to hang in there. Just try to be there for her and listen when she wants to talk and give her her space when she doesn't. And hang in there

Old 11-01-2011, 10:53 AM   #3
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Re: My adult daughter's mental illness is killing me


First of all, all normal parental concerns aside, you need to release your daughter, unless you have official caretaker responsibilities, which it appears that you don't. Letting this stress you out and make you ill won't help her.

Taking care of yourself is paramount and is the best example you can be to your daughter. Because she has to take care of herself. Encourage her to keep changing psyche docs until she gets one that is responsive and available. She has to come to terms that she needs help getting and staying stable. This means staying in counseling and it's not unusual to need med changes from time to time. She doesn't need uppers and downers. She needs mood stabilization.

Talk with her about options but don't enmesh yourself into her symptoms or trying to fix them. In a way we need to care from 'afar', removing our emotions from the situation. Otherwise we can be no help if we let our emotions go up and down with our adult children's circumstances.

Just keep sharing and talking it out here. Some of us certainly understand!

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