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  • Sociopath.

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    Old 07-07-2014, 12:35 AM   #1
    sebastianb's Avatar
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    Almost a year ago, I met this girl. Over the year, we became really close friends, to the point where we consider each other one of the best friends we ever had.

    After a while of knowing her, I found out that she had many problems with the people within our social circle. She used to be and still is, although a tiny bit less than before, very promiscuous which is a cause for most of those problems.

    Through our friendship, as we got to know each other better, she told me some things about her that left me stunned. This was actually the moment where I realised that I should never judge people before I hear their story.
    In fact, some of the things I am about to mention I only found out recently.

    She has had a very tough life. She has been the victim of rape twice, her father used to abuse her and beat her wen she was a child to the point where she would be near unconsciousness and be left with very visible bruises about which she had to lie about so people would not find out. She was verbally abused and judged by teachers and peers.
    At this point I realised that her behaviour and the mistakes linked to sex and commitment she continually continues to make might be a result of the things that happened to her in the past.

    I noticed that she shows some behaviour that would be the one of a sociopath. Once we had a serious talk, and she admitted to me that she only uses most people. However she also mentioned that she does have genuine feelings for a small amount of people and that I'm one of them.
    She also said that she knows what she is doing is wrong and that she thinks she is a horrible person for doing it. A couple of times she called me when she had panic attacks, and I managed to calm her down.

    While she does do some things that a sociopath would do such as using people for her advantage or being promiscuous, she doesn't do other sociopathic things at all, for example being violent or cruel.

    This might be important: The same day she admitted it, she actually said that she genuinely feels bad about such behaviour and that she wishes one day she'll change it and could for example stay faithful in a relationship.

    So considering that despite her sociopathic tendencies, could it be possible that she is not a full on sociopath and that she does have certain actually true emotions?

    We also are interested in each other as more than friends. But once she told me that she wants to be with me, but doesn't want to right now as she doesn't think she would be able to remain faithful and she doesn't want to ruin what we have.
    I was quite confused by this, but then I realised that it might be a good thing. Because if she just wanted to use me, she wouldn't tell me and probably just get in a relationship with me instead.

    She told me once that she really did have true feelings for someone in her life but she can't see them as she was forced to move to a country we both live in right now and both hate.
    I feel that over the time I became some sort of a safe house for her, as she mentioned to me a in a couple of weak moments that I'm the only person she can talk to and the only person she has.

    To put it into perspective: Last time we were supposed to go out together, she told me she can't. When I asked her why, she said that she doesn't have any money and that she would feel bad if I paid for her again, as I did the previous time we were out.
    Now, wouldn't a complete sociopath just use me?

    Although I care about her a lot, I'm trying to be careful.

    So my final question is: Can someone with sociopathic tendencies still have some actual emotions? Or is it just either nothing or a full on sociopath?

    Last edited by Administrator; 07-11-2014 at 03:00 AM.

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    Old 07-07-2014, 06:15 AM   #2
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    Re: Sociopath.

    This poor woman is not a sociopath. She sounds more like a person so badly traumatised emotionally that she has virtually cut loose from all normal feelings. She is pretty much shut down and rather than her putting labels on herself, needs some good therapy and counselling to heal. She must do this if she wants any hope to function in any fulfilling relationship in the future. Be her friend and support her in this. Sera

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