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Just need somewhere to whine a little.

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Old 12-15-2005, 05:17 AM   #1
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Unhappy Just need somewhere to whine a little.

I am in such a funk. I don't know how to get medical care. I made a post a while ago about my terrible periods and I still havn't gotten looked at for those. My car needs new brakes and I can't drive the 50mi it will be to go to the sliding fee clinic. I didn't like the lady that I saw there anyway. She wasn't a doctor, but still a medical pro. I'm not sure her title. She asked me about my eating habits and how much fruit I ate. I told her I ate about 10 servings of fruits and veggies. That wasn't good enough. She wanted to know exactly how much FRUIT I eat. Huh??? Fruitarian?

I brought in my medical records because I wanted to make that place my new clinic. She told me she would make coppies of them later, then asked me how old they were. I told her about two years and she said that she didn't need them. She never even looked at them.

I'm comming to the conclusion that I have GERD. Something about the constant gas bubbling up through the acid in my stomach tells me that. The perpetual acid reflux kinda clues me in too.

I've had a lump in my throat for a couple of weeks now and my throat has been getting sore.

I have a tooth that feels like it's going to fall out or something. There is a huge blister on the gums and it's all swolen and red. No cavity though or any obvious cause.

I havn't worked enough to get dissability. I'm 23 and was diagnossed with FM when i was 20. I havn't worked much in my life at all. I'm not working now. My partner works and pays for everything. I feel useless because I don't even clean the house. We're living in squaller.

I'm so frustrated, depressed, uncomfortable, in pain, cold (because my heater leaks carbon monoxide... kinda bad for the FM), and fatigued, amongst so many other things.

I'm hoping someone could commiserate with me. Tell me about the trouble you are going through, or did go through before you got things sorted out so you can live your life with a touch of happiness and dignity. Listening to other peoples problems makes me feel better. Not because I like other people to be sad, but it lets me know I'm not alone. Thanks so much, you guys. *hugs*

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Old 12-15-2005, 05:23 AM   #2
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Re: Just need somewhere to whine a little.

Oh, yeah.. I also have gallstones so I can't eat a lot of fat, and I'm hypoglycemic so I can't eat a lot of sugar. I've lost a phenominal amount of weight and I'm beginning to worry. I'm also drinking abnormal amounds of water. My urine is COMPLETELY clear. Even when I take a vitamin that normally turns your pee flourescent yellow. grrrrrr.. sigh...

Thanks again, you all...

Old 12-15-2005, 06:00 AM   #3
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Re: Just need somewhere to whine a little.

We all get in a funk once in awhile. I think when i take action, it starts to bring me out of it. You need to find a ride to see a pain doctor and a dentist.

Although you haven't worked, you may still be eligible for SSI, Medicaid and for food stamps and for help around the house. My friend that has lupus has all of these.

The fact that your heater leaks carbon monoxide is a huge big deal and you need to get this taken care of. Try the gas company. The fire department will also check out the amount of carbon monoxide for you. At least they do that here.

Now the blister on your gums is what worries me the most. That could be an abscess which can lead to sepsis in your blood and that can be deadly. Sometimes abscessed teeth don't hurt. A friend of mine had one and didn't know it. She got a really bad sinus infection and her eyes were red and irritated. The infection had spread. So get this checked out. Please.

Does your partner have a car or don't you have anyone to drive you? You really need to be seen by a good doctor.

I can complain as well as the next person if i choose to. For your benefit i will tell you that my rear end is hurting so bad from sitting and ihave to drive 5 1/2 hours tomorrow. I must do my stretches today and try to stay off of it. I have heavy periods too; I had a D&C and have polyps that cannot be removed without having a hysterectomy. I am 44 so i am waiting patiently to go through the change. I have gained a lot of weight. Seems i am always hungry. It's not from my meds. My life is pretty full so I don't know what emptiness i am trying to fill. (that's what my counselor told me) I am sitting here trying to think of things that are wrong, but that's all i can come up with.

I rec. that you take care of your health first and also make a gratitude list for all you are grateful for. Don't get mad. I am not a polly anna. It really does get things into perspective.

You are in my prayers,

Old 12-15-2005, 07:18 AM   #4
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Re: Just need somewhere to whine a little.

Thanks a lot for the input. The griping helped.

My partner and I share this car. We are going to get new breaks, but can't do that for another couple weeks. I only have one friend and she is blind in one eye and can't drive. Ideally I'm going to go to the hospital in this neck of the woods today and see about some ability to pay program that they are rumored to have.

I will look into ssi and so on. Thanks. For some reason I never think of taking advantage of those programs. It really would help though, I'm sure.

Most of the time I'm fairly resolved. I pretty much just accept that this is the lot I was given, and like other people who have troubles, I just have to make the best of it, which most of the time I do. Just not now.

I don't think the gratitude list is hokey at all. I often take stock of the good things in my life. I have a wonderful partner who seldom complains about the fact that I don't work. She is supportive and caring. I have a really great dog who, although eats my bras and various articles of clothing, is REALLY cute and a total sweetheart. Just watching him puts a smile on my face. (now that's hokey) I have food on the table and clothes on my back. Things are a lot worse for a lot of people. I'm just having a hard time focusing on that right now. I will probably be more positive when I get my tooth taken care of and I'm not in perpetual discomfort.

Thanks a lot. Keep the complaints comming!!!

Old 12-15-2005, 10:17 AM   #5
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Re: Just need somewhere to whine a little.

okay girlfriend,
back when i was beginning this bizarre journey i had no income, was battling with my employers comp carrier, got 6 months behind on rent, had surgery on both hands that made matters worse.
i went thru so many doctors i lost track of their names, 17 to date i think, doesn't matter. where i lived then if you want a decent doctor you go to the big city 2 hours away or the little city 1 hour away. had one car that was a real p.o.s. and a stick shift so i had to give up driving. that almost got my sanity. then i ended up in a wheelchair and bedridden for a bit over half a year. i did alot of thinking while in that bed, alot. did a ton of crying too. i was so incredibly angry and afraid. i used to imagine myself homeless on a street corner begging in a rusted out wheelchair. that one was always good for a real tear fest.
i used that phone like a mad woman. i (finally!) called social security and they sent me the papers. you can also ******** them off the net. i drove the comp carrier crazy instead of myself. i fired doctors. i hired new ones.
it's been a bit over a decade and today the only thing i can think of to gripe on is my brother left a mess in the bathroom sink this morning after he shaved. i busted him, he did one of his famous totally male half arsed clean ups, then i took out my pain on the vacuum. if i am going to hurt i want to see a reason for it, like a clean carpet, or a pot of soup bubbling on the stove. anything, even if it is managing to get a shower today, it counts and i have my reason.
you know after i got all the financial mess solved i had enough money to go buy myself a brand new car (my first and only), pay my landlady and pay her a years rent in advance. that was from the comp carrier settlment.
now with social security you get all the money from the day you apply to the day they grant your request. if they deny you, appeal and then when you do finally get it you still get it all from the day you first applied. get yourself a head shrinker too. the nice people at social security love that.
you would be surprised how proactive you can get from bed.
every county has a program for medical care and psyc services. call social services. the best it is not. better than nothing it is. then you can take the city bus to a doctor closer to you.
that's all the thinking i can do without going all happy and positive on you, giggle.

Old 12-15-2005, 10:29 AM   #6
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Re: Just need somewhere to whine a little.

Go ahead and whine when you feel the need. We all do it sometimes. We all need to sometimes. Don't get discouraged if you get turned for SSi the first time, a friend of mine who'd had strokes got turned down 3 times before she got it. She also hadn't worked enough for SS disability. If you can't get your heater fixed, go get an electric one, but watch your dog, one of mine turns things over quite a lot, she runs and acts crazy quite a bit.
Sometimes, I have heard, people at SS or even at hospitals may ask a few questions and then say you don't qualify. Don't give up, some of these people just don't want to do whatever is nessacary for people like us to get help.
I understand about your house, mine looks absolutely horrible and the only stuff I ever get done is some laundry or loading the dishwasher. I love the weekends that my DH is off work and can help me some, which I feel guilty about because he works really hard, I stay home, he pays most of the bills, I get SSI and have to buy a lot of my meds cause Tx medicaid only pays for 3 a month. We have to try not to feel guilty about the things we cannot do, as long as we try to take care of ourselves and do the best we can. I know, I sound all upbeat and positive, believe me, it's not that way all the time. It's just today seems to be an ok day even though I'd love to go crawl back in bed for a few more hours.
As soon as you can, go see a gyn and a dentist.
About not having a ride, check with some of your nieghbors, maybe there is something that they need and you can do for them, a special dish, sewing, anything no matter how little it sounds, ya'll could trade, you do some little something for him/her and he/she gives you rides. I have a neighbor that every so often I watch her little boy, I'm lucky he is still little enough he takes naps and can walk by himself and his mom has a little gate she puts up where she doesn't want him to go. So watching him some of the time doesn't hurt or really take it out of me.
Anyway, just an idea. Maybe you have a neighbor who works on cars, you buy the brakes and cook them something and they fix your brakes. I have a neighbor like that, does lots of things I can't do and my Dh doesn't have time to do.
Let us know how you do

Old 12-15-2005, 12:23 PM   #7
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Re: Just need somewhere to whine a little.

Thanks a lot, bluelakelady, I feel even better still! I can't imagine how horrible that must have been. Well, that's not entirely true. I can imagine it. I just havn't quite lived it yet. I'm feeling like I'm on my way though.
Thank you april. It does help to hear that it's okay to whine sometimes. I'm not sure I allow myself that luxury often enough. Trading services is a good idea. Something else that I don't think much about in this day in age, ya know. Barter system being gone, and all.

I just called the hospital to ask about their program. They gave me a phone number, 123-456-7890, to call to see if I qualified. I called the number, followed the directions and pressed 2 to get assigned a physician. I was connected somewhere else and the recorded message said that it can take 2-3 months to see someone. If you don't want to wait you can go to clinic x, y, or z. If you don't want to go to go to x, y, or z and you want to be put on the waiting list call 123-456-7890 and select option 2 to be assigned a physician. !!! How circular! I tried this once before and I recalled something like this happening. I thought I'd try again to see if I did something wrong. Nope! It really is all jacked up. I think I'll call clinic z though and just get something going anyway. It's a planned parenthood that also does general medicine. It's not really what I need, but I think something is better than nothing. I don't want to go back to the fruit lady again.

I do feel so thankful that a lot of the time my pain is managable, except for on my period, with over the counter meds. Tylenol works pretty well for me. Not as well as vicodin, but it's MUCH cheaper.

I'm in a bit better mood now. My partner got home from a bad day at work. Cheering her up made me feel better, and a friend of mine called with some good news. It's really all about the little things, isn't it?

I'll let you know if there are any more developments in the wild world of inadequet healthcare. Thank you all so much.

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