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    Old 10-02-2009, 03:39 PM   #1
    HOTFLASHIN
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    Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    I assume this topic will be very controversial. My husband threatened to leave me because I want a drink to relax on the weekends.

    My neck NEVER stops hurting! The meds I am on take away a lot of the pain, but my neck is just a pain that ranges from a dull constant ache to a flaming fire.

    I cannot drink through the week. I watch my almost 1 year old grandson during the day while my daughter is at school and work.

    By the time the weekend gets here, I am SO ready to just fix myself a cognac and diet coke and take the pain completely away.

    This is probably not the best answer, but for the little while that one drink takes the pain away, it is worth it to me....to be pain free for any amount of time is such a relief!

    Anyway, does anyone else drink to take away the pain? I feel so guilty because my family, who is non-supportive of the Fibro, are even less supportive of having a drink or two to relieve the pain.

    Sometimes I grow so weary of judgmental people who are not in pain!!!

    Like my husband said today "I mean, it's not like you are DYING, are you? It's not like cancer or something!" God, I just wanted to kill myself when he said those words, I felt such hopelessness!!!

    Love to you all,

    Pam

     
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    Old 10-02-2009, 04:19 PM   #2
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    Hi Pam, What a shame your husband couldn't be more supportive - I'm fortunate mine is fab (and so should they all be in sickness and in health!!) To me there is absoluetly NOTHING wrong with having a drink or 2 whether you have fibro or not - I've just come back from our local wine bar and had 2 large glasses of red wine! 2 bottles would be a problem (well it would be for me!) I don't drink loads as I find I don't sleep well after a drink so 2 glasses would usually be my max a couple of times a week (unless of course it's a party or celebration then bring on the champagne by the bucket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
    I have always had a couple of drinks on a fri and sat night so nothing for me has changed - I now find though by 11pm I'm looking at the clock and thinking time to go home whereas before fibro I could easily stay up till 1 or 2am!
    I know what is so hard for other people to get their head round is the fact that we don't look ill -I'm wondering is there something that you could give him to read - or could he come to a Dr visit with you maybe?
    My thoughts are with you - hopefully you can win the education battle with him - till then you have all of us who know exactly what you are going through x

     
    Old 10-02-2009, 07:05 PM   #3
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    I am not suggesting that you hide it from your husband but if it's only a drink do you tell him every time? Would he even notice?

     
    Old 10-02-2009, 07:13 PM   #4
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    sounds to me like you need to work a bit on self acceptace and self love, then maybe other peoples thoughts on your drinking will not hurt as much. your a strong woman, you know what right for you. keep being supportave to yourself and you will make good choises. keep on talking here, wed ont care if you had a cocktail on the weekend!

     
    Old 10-02-2009, 07:22 PM   #5
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    Hotflashin,

    No, i don't drink alcohol at all.

    From what you are describing with your husband and family life here, why add fuel to the fire with Alcohol ?

    I want to give you support , that's what we're here for.

    Have you considered pain management for pain control?
    Please, alcohol is not the answer for pain control.
    Especially more so when you are taking prescription medications.

    I understand your pain, i as many others live with chronic pain.
    I would never risk my marriage or family due to Alcohol, even if it meant pain free for a brief time.

    Try to rethink your situation. Your husband threatened to leave you because you want to drink to relax on the weekends.
    This is fully your decision and i hope you make the decision that is most important to you.

    Live Life Well
    BeHappy2

     
    Old 10-02-2009, 08:33 PM   #6
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    I have tried having a glass of wine every now and then. I just end up feeling worse for it, as it does not mix well with my meds. So, I have chosen to completely abstain; it's better for me in the long run.

    Your husband's comments about your disease are heartless. It sounds to me like there is much more to the story than your having a drink (or even two) on the weekends...perhaps you can find a neutral third party, like a doctor, counselor, clergyperson, or therapist to help you work through your issues. Ideally you would both go, but, even if you go yourself, it would be helpful.

    Hang in there. You are worth the effort.

     
    Old 10-03-2009, 11:56 AM   #7
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    Hotflashin, I am wondering if there is more behind your husband's thoughts than just the drink. Is he frustrated with your illness more than he is communicating? By illness, I mean that, like the rest of us, we can't be upbeat and chipper all the time, especially if we're in pain, and that can be frustrating to a spouse.
    Does he have a reason to dislike alcohol? Is there alcoholism in your family or in his background? Or a religious belief or upbringing?
    Does he have fears about chemical dependency, even if you are confident there is no risk? Just one, to him, might seem scary because he is concerned that you may like it a whole lot and want more!!

    I do agree that he is insensitive in his approach to disagreeing with you drinking one drink. Maybe he is acting out of fear...like he thinks it is soo serious but doesn't know how to tell you in a way that you would agree with and see from his point of view, so he says something extreme to try to get your attention.

    As for myself, I am not able to drink alcohol. For one thing, I have an apparent fibro-related allergy to it, and if I have one little sip of wine or champagne, I flare up terribly the next morning. I have tried to see if it made a difference whether I had the whole glass or just a sip, and it doesn't make difference how much. Secondly, because of my meds, one drink is like having six!! My boyfriend calls me a cheap date! There have been a couple of times I specifically planned to drink alcohol for an event, and warned him ahead of time, and...whoa!! I can't/shouldn't do that!!! I have to drink soooooo slowly! Three sips per hour!
    Even if that were not the case, I would caution anyone to use alcohol in any way. It sounds like you may be using it to relax (it is a mind-altering drug), which I can understand and it works, but if it works well, then you have to be sure you don't use more!! What if it turns into just 2 drinks per night? Or just drinks after 5 pm, etc.?

    Believe me, I have been tempted, but my temptation is to smoke pot. I never have before, but I see it as a means to relax without having it interact with my meds. But I don't do it, and haven't yet. I just think about it a lot when I feel sooo bad and it won't go away! The main reason I don't is...what if I do like it and it takes the pain away? Is that the best choice for me?

    I am trying to think of the most healthy avenues to relax and achieve relief.

    I do understand though!

     
    Old 10-03-2009, 12:09 PM   #8
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    I can understand what you're going thru. Before the docs gave me any pain medication, i would drink one glass of wine maybe 2 times a week with dinner. I have to admit that it did help with the pain. Now im on fentanyl and morphine,, my liver has a mass on it and tests are not that great on it, so for those reasons i no longer drink at all.

    yes, get yourself to pain management, its much better than pot and wine or any other drinks. Im not saying dont drink two drinks, im just saying pain management stuff is more helpful. Drinking with those strong pills tho are a no no. Best of luck sweetie, i do feel for you, i know, ive been in those shoes.

    Last edited by Administrator; 10-22-2009 at 03:29 PM.

     
    Old 10-03-2009, 05:23 PM   #9
    HOTFLASHIN
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    Thank you for all of your replies. They were really helpful and it really makes me feel better to get all of this support. Those of you who asked if there are underlying issues are probably right. There are a lot of issues between us. We were married for 23 years and then we split up for almost 9 years. I remarried and stayed with that husband until he passed away almost 2 years ago. When my husband and I started seeing each other again he assured me that all was forgiven, but I can tell it isn't. First of all, when we were together before I worked full time and we participated in a lot of other activities. Of course now it's a different story. I have spent a lot of time in bed and I do not work outside the home and of course you all know I have lower energy levels and higher pain levels. So it's probably like I am a different person now.

    Also, he brings up our break up a lot and accuses me of still wanting to be with my dead husband.He has changed too, he is very bitter and easily outraged. He used to be an extremely easy going person.

    So yes, there are underlying issues. Anyway, I can give up the drinking. It is a very, very temporary "fix" for the pain. I need to get in to see my doctor and talk about pain management. That would be a better thing to do. Of course, he also gets upset about my prescriptions. I am on a blood pressure med, Requip for restless leg syndrome and Ambien for sleep as well as the Cymbalta and everytime I have to get a refill he gets upset.

    Anyhow, thanks again for all of your replies, I appreciate it very much.

    Hugs,

    Pam

     
    Old 10-03-2009, 08:27 PM   #10
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    Your last post explains alot Hotflashin. My heart goes out to you.
    You vent anytime you need too. We will listen, you have my support.
    Any unhealthy relationship can be very cruel to Fibromyalgia. Makes our pain Flare hot.

    I am so very sorry you are having to go thru all of this. With him being very bitter and outraged is terrible. It must hurt you deeply when he mentions your deceased husband, i am so sorry you are having to live like this.
    Just remember, you don't have to live like this. We all have choices in life and it's ourselves that makes the choices.

    You take care of you. Vent anytime. Bless your heart. I'm thinking of you.


    Live Life Well
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    Old 10-04-2009, 12:50 AM   #11
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    HI Pam, Do you think you could get him to relationship therapy? You could maybe approach it on the basis of it not beng him as the problem but the fact that you have both gone through so much together. It may feel awful at the moment - but the fact that you've married each other twice must I imagine mean a whole lot for both of you. My thoughts are with and as you know we are always hear to support each other. And what I love is the fact that we all have so many different perspectives that you get a fully rounded approach to issues. So for me I don't take any meds so hadn't even thought about the effect that alcohol would have as a result of taking the meds too, plus for me I'd not though of alcohol as taking the pain away as it doesn't for me (instead of meds) instead it was for a social thing - so I learnt so much too from this post and all the others! Enjoy your Sunday x

     
    Old 10-05-2009, 07:05 AM   #12
    HOTFLASHIN
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    Thanks again guys! Yesterday, I woke up with one of the worst flares I have had since going on Cymbalta. I tried just resting for a good portion of the day and then I finally thought "this is crazy, I need to call my doc." So I called him and he got back with me in about 5-10 minutes. I told him what was happening and he said he was glad I called because he was going to be out of town all week. He called in some Lortab for me, which got rid of most of the pain and I was able to get some quality rest and I feel better today.

    Yes, the relationship thing is hurting me so badly. I just feel like I am alone with all of this. Everytime I mention being in pain, etc., he just rolls his eyes. I am praying about his heart (and mine) and trying to think of things I can do for us to be able to spend more time together doing things. He is one of these people who can never sit still and he loves to just go, go, go.

    Thanks again for all of your words of wisdom and especially the heart I felt in them! Absolutely wonderful to know that you guys are here!

    Love,

    Pam

     
    Old 10-05-2009, 11:18 PM   #13
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by HOTFLASHIN View Post
    Thanks again guys! Yesterday, I woke up with one of the worst flares I have had since going on Cymbalta. I tried just resting for a good portion of the day and then I finally thought "this is crazy, I need to call my doc." So I called him and he got back with me in about 5-10 minutes. I told him what was happening and he said he was glad I called because he was going to be out of town all week. He called in some Lortab for me, which got rid of most of the pain and I was able to get some quality rest and I feel better today.

    Yes, the relationship thing is hurting me so badly. I just feel like I am alone with all of this. Everytime I mention being in pain, etc., he just rolls his eyes. I am praying about his heart (and mine) and trying to think of things I can do for us to be able to spend more time together doing things. He is one of these people who can never sit still and he loves to just go, go, go.

    Thanks again for all of your words of wisdom and especially the heart I felt in them! Absolutely wonderful to know that you guys are here!

    Love,

    Pam
    Always here for you Pam.

    Pam, wondering if you've ever considered your hubby going to a doc appt. with you ? Maybe he could begin to understand Fibromyalgia a little by doing this. I don't know, it's just a suggestion, you know him more than anyone so this is just a thought. Or, what about having Fibromyalgia pamphlets on the table, he may take a look at them when you're not looking.

    Wish you well
    BeHappy2

     
    Old 10-06-2009, 05:07 AM   #14
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    Good idea. Maybe if he understood more it would help everything.

    Thanks!

    Pam

     
    Old 10-06-2009, 09:11 AM   #15
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    Re: Do any of you drink to help the pain?

    Girl...I hear you about the pain...but please don't drink on top of your meds!! Tell your doc he needs to help get you some meds that work!! You don't want to end up a statistic like MJ or Anna Nicole Smith!! We care about you

    Deb

    Last edited by deb53; 10-06-2009 at 09:12 AM.

     
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