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  • "I Don't Believe in Fibromyalgia"

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    Old 07-19-2010, 06:28 AM   #1
    baserockermom
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    "I Don't Believe in Fibromyalgia"

    Every time I don't make a family gathering because of enormous pain, I torture myself over the complete apathy and rejection I get from family and over what they must think of me and how small a person I must really be to mean so little to my own family. It reeks of the same stuff I get from my pcp who I keep swearing I'll change but don't because I just can't imagine a doctor that would do me any better than my own family. I'm not referring to my husband; it was a hard go for the first few years of illness for him to go from fighting to fix this to fighting to help me accept myself despite this, but he's been great, especially this weekend.

    Ever do a search of "I Don't Believe in Fibromyalgia"? There's an interesting article at fmparternship romano 2002 that explains clearly why it's so hard to get care in the medical community. The difficulty then, in my opinion, so easily spills over to family who read up on fm and find it questionable due to the doctors who justify their desires to not have to deal with it tanking their profits by saying they don't believe in it. Anyways, some days I think it would be less painful to have been orphaned as a child because my family means too much to me.

     
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    Old 07-19-2010, 07:13 AM   #2
    bluelakelady
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    Re: "I Don't Believe in Fibromyalgia"

    hi base,
    you have my heart girlfriend. you are who you are, be at peace with that. your family is who they are. we are not able to choose our relatives, we just get them.
    i cannot say magic words that will bring your family around to see you as you are and love you no matter what. i can say stop beating yourself up over things you have no control over, like other people. your energy is precious, don't waste it on emotions that solve nothing. guilt is a waste of life.
    fibromyalgia is a chronic illness not a philosophy or faith. just an illness. believe in it, is a reduntant concept. cannot be done. it is or it is not. that's all.
    dear friend please consider again changing doctors. they are supposed to be the ones we can count on to show compassion and logic. i wish i could send you my doctor Iyad. he is so gentle and kind. do you remember how many doctors i had to fire to find him? 17!! it was worth it.
    sending you love and someone to smile at in the mirror, you! breath, know you are loved unconditionally, breath more. see that lovely woman in the mirror? love her, treat her good, get her a decent doctor, giggle.
    hugs, snuggles, giggles, and most of all,
    peace,
    blue

     
    Old 07-19-2010, 07:26 AM   #3
    tmrots
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    Re: "I Don't Believe in Fibromyalgia"

    I am sorry you are dealing with this. I just found out last week I had fibro and am sure there will be many things in my future that I won't be able to attend as well. For now though, I feel for you. It must be very frustrating. Not only do you physically feel awful, now you deal with this isolation. Well, they are the ones that have to out their head on the pillow at night and live with the fact that they are not nice. Next time, go to a comfy chair, have a cup of tea, read a good book, or watch a good movie and be happy you are who you are.

    I wish you peace.

     
    Old 07-19-2010, 06:32 PM   #4
    baserockermom
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    Re: "I Don't Believe in Fibromyalgia"

    Thanks tmrots and bluelakelady. I'm making that tea right now.

    Bluelakelady, thanks for your encouragement about the doc. I read articles like that one this morning and I just think they'd all be mad to begin with because I chose a cheap insurance plan that devalues them. I've found a doc who is about an hour away who does not take insurance and the reviews on him are outstanding. When I get up a few hundred, I just might try him.

    BTW, I'm so awfully sorry you are going through so much right now, bll. I wish I could change the next few weeks for you.

     
    Old 07-20-2010, 07:15 AM   #5
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    Re: "I Don't Believe in Fibromyalgia"

    morning base,
    keep searching. i have a feeling. i trust my feelings and i sense someone closer who will take your insurance.
    hey, i'm cool with the next few weeks. i know when it is all over i will feel better than i have in a long time. that makes it all worth it. i just blew it on planning, giggle.
    wow, the feeling is growing as i type to you. keep searching, please.
    hugs and peace,
    blue

     
    Old 07-23-2010, 08:25 PM   #6
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    Re: "I Don't Believe in Fibromyalgia"

    Baserocker, I finally had a chance to read your thread. Been trying for a long time, but keep getting interrupted. Blue said it all, look in that mirror and see what a beautiful person you are. Hang in there, keep searching for that right doc. My doc Kate moved from the practice we have used for years. That is how I found her, she took over for our old doc when he left. I thought I liked this new doc, another women, but started thinking better of it one day. Fate jumped in and I got a phone call from doc kates new office, they had been called to renew a med for my hubby. I started asking the questions and finding out just where she is. So listen to Blues feelings, you will find that new doc, I know it. Sending energy and smiles your way.

    Glojer

     
    Old 07-23-2010, 09:47 PM   #7
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    Re: "I Don't Believe in Fibromyalgia"

    People that "don't believe in illness" are sick, spiritually. My family, all totally insane mind you act similarly (not my sweet husband). I don't have fibro but I have my own issues. It has helped build character and improve my relationship to God (not religious). It is painful when family acts in a way that makes you feel ignored and unloved, but really they are doing it because they want you to be "fine." Which is sick behavior. It is closeminded and immature, but I bet they love you. I "left" my family long ago when it is just one pain after another. Some physically, some spiritually (I see some of them, love them but don't depend on them) Hope you have close friends who respect and understand you, or at least one. Sounds like you have a nice hubs.

    I am sure you are already aware of things I said, but basically I am with you too!

    and docs can be so ridiculous. everyone gets a job, even the pothead in the back of the class. Sometimes they are docs...I try to use them for info since they went to med school, but not as someone who knows anything about me. I will just go to diff ones until I find one that will work with me. Last month, one asked me "when do you think you will be better?"!! Dumbass. I called him Hun after that mistakely and he is thirty years my senior and I am a hot girl. he blushed. He will never know that I am eons older than him in other ways!!

    L

    Last edited by constantsinus; 07-23-2010 at 09:49 PM.

     
    Old 07-24-2010, 06:50 PM   #8
    baserockermom
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    Re: "I Don't Believe in Fibromyalgia"

    Thanks Glojer. I appreciate your kind words. I know I need to work on the doctor thing.

    Constantsinus, thanks, too. I stay pretty isolated other than coming on here every now and then and also enjoying my son and his friends. I love when the kids hang out here. I also love your observation that "everyone gets a job, even the pothead and sometimes they are docs". "When do you think you will be better??!!!! "Ah, gee, doc, let me check my calendar and see when this performance is scheduled to end... " Wow! You give it to him for all of the ex-hot babes while you're at it!

    I handled the family stuff this week by just checking in with various ones to make sure no grudges happened because people thought I was blowing them off. As my husband says, you have to take it one shot at a time and I can only control my shots, not anyone else's. Like you, I've grown away from family, but I still want/need them.

    Take care.

    Last edited by baserockermom; 07-24-2010 at 06:53 PM.

     
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