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helping a parent in need

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Old 08-13-2012, 10:33 PM   #1
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helping a parent in need

In the last year my mom was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and has had arthritis almost her whole life but really I'm at a lost with helping her. It's hard seeing a person that does everything for others to be in so much pain. I know that she takes multiple pills each and everyday and that she has had injections into her knee for joint problems, but nothing really seems to be helping with the pain and I was just wondering what kind of advice you guys could give me. I know that it's hard for her to talk to me about her being in pain, because I am the youngest of her children but I'm hoping that maybe if I know something's that I could do to help her along maybe she could open up to me. Thanks for listening

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Old 08-13-2012, 10:59 PM   #2
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Re: helping a parent in need

My mom has fibro too... she has for years, she also has arthritus in various parts of her body and she has had 3 back surgeries due to slipped and herniated disks. I never understood her pain and would actually roll my eyes after hearing about it so much. Then it happened to me and I could not be sorrier! You cant understand or help someone in that amount of pain unless you know what it is yourself. The best description I have is that it feels like the flu, but worse and all the time! I think the best thing you can do for her ( because I wish someone would do it for me) Is to just listen to her and ask her a lot how she is feeling, it is hard to feel alone in pain. Just constantly let her know you are there for her Sorry she is going through this and also sorry that you are, I have been the child of fibro and now I am pretty sure I am the victim too... Blessings

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Old 08-14-2012, 07:33 AM   #3
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Re: helping a parent in need

hi and welcome,
i don't open up a great deal with my kids either. however if asked i tell the truth of how i am. they show me support in the little things. coming for a visit and doing housework for me. taking me to doctors that are out of town. we always have fun no matter which kid i take. they leave me alone when i am having a rough time. they check in on me but don't bug me. one daughter has her husband make me salsa to help me eat more. one drives me wherever i need to go. another is my listener. one is my worrier so i protect him.
i remember when i first got sick one daughter was a bit tough on me but in the end became my best masseuse. giggle. she went on to work in the medical field.
hugs are very important when we moms feel we are letting our kids down by not being perfect. i love you's are precious drops of healing nectar.
so, tell mom you came here and you want to be her health buddy. it's hard as a mom to tell your kids you are worn out, lost, scared, worried. it's our job to make you feel safe and its hard to let that concept go and let our kids be our safety net. i'm still working on it. giggle.

Old 08-14-2012, 04:13 PM   #4
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Re: helping a parent in need

Thank you for being such a kind and loving daughter.

Well, a good way to help is to actually ask what she really needs. Does she need help with certain tasks? Does she want company, or to get out of the house?

Emotionally, simple words like, "I'm sorry this is happening to you" can go a very long way.

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