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Old 09-08-2012, 06:41 PM   #1
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Unhappy Depression

Does anyone have any advice on how to get past the depression from being fatigued and in pain? I am having some really scary thoughts because I feel like such a worthless person. My house is a mess, I have because a worthless wife and mother. I feel like I am doing more harm to my family than good. My kids don't get to go anywhere, I can never play with them, I am irritable. I know the normal treatment for Fibromyalgia is anti-depressants but I have never been able to take them because of my bi-polar disorder. My doctor instead raised my dosage of Neurontin which I was taking before as a mood stabilizer along with Lamictal. Is it possible the Higher dose of Neurontin is making me so depressed? Also, my doctor won't prescribe anything other than tramadol which does not work at all. I just don't know what to do. Any advice?

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Old 09-08-2012, 07:03 PM   #2
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Re: Depression

I am so sorry you are going through this. I can certainly relate, I have small children who I feel I never entertain or enjoy, I am always dizzy and in pain. I take care of them alone all week so when their dad is home on the weekends he feels I " do nothing and ignore them" or "he wishes he could sleep in one of these days" or "all I ever see is a scowl on your face and all I hear about is your problems" well the scowl is there because I hurt! I am a stay at home mom and certainly don't ignore them at all but someone has to try to clean bathrooms and do dishes and laundry and he certainly doesn't so yeah when he I'd home I am doing all of the things that make me have a "scowl" on my face... As far as the kids go don't feel bad, I have been feeling bad but found that if I do small things it makes a big difference! For me and them! I will sit and painfully rock my 2 year old for 5 minutes at bed time, yes it hurts but she gets special time and so do I and the pain is worth it... Your not worthless in any way! My mom has fibro too... She thinks just because she can work through her pain and she deals with it everyone can! I don't think so! I can't sometimes and when I can I do! I have seen many people on here say what works for some does not for others, you just need to find your cocktail demand your doctor to help you or find one who will! This is your life and your pain and you don't have to be in pain like you are or feel like you do... There are meds out there, sounds to me like your doc is being lazy? Mine is too... I'm on the search for another your not alone and you are so not even close to worthless! I have been told I'm worthless by my mom, I dint believe it! I am a great mom and so are you because you acknowledge it and you want to fix it the people who don't care are the worthless ones! Like my mom! I'm here if you want to talk xoxo

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Old 09-09-2012, 04:18 AM   #3
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Re: Depression

I am so sorry you are having problems with your fibro. I have a severe neck pain right not. I have really good days but then I have terrible days. I go to a chiropractor and he have given lots of exercies too help me out. My shoulders and my lower back are the worst. I also use a tens unit at times. If it real bad. Have you gone to a chiro yet? I ampraying for you and hope you better. I how being depressed is also. When my children at school I take a walk out side just to go outside. I need it. Having a walking buddy helps. If you lay down or "rest" too much the pain is much worse. I am also starting a yoga class. It is easy on the muscles and not very strenuous. Plus you get the interaction we women need. We need to have a support group to get us through the tough times in our lives. I have been diagnosed with fibro for 3 years. I hate it but I have to learn how to work with it.

Old 09-09-2012, 09:53 AM   #4
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Re: Depression

Thank you both !!!

Old 09-09-2012, 10:22 AM   #5
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Re: Depression

Same with me. I have gone through periods where I am just down and out and soooo frustrated with myself and feel like I caused all of my health issues. My kids know mommy hurts everyday and they get frustrated as well since I can't do stuff with them that their friends's moms do. I often push myself to be a mom and everything that's involved with it. Sometimes I do allow myself a day here and there to not do anything as my body wont do anything else.

Since surgery will be in my future with my knee and neck I am doing as much as I can now since there will be weeks where I cant do much of anything.

You are NOT worthless as a mom or wife. If the way you're feeling now was around the same time as the increase of the meds then it could be that. Hugs!!!

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Old 09-10-2012, 12:09 AM   #6
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Re: Depression

Absolutely can relate to you but don't have a magic answer on the depression. I'm having quiet a bit of it myself, more so than usual. I refuse to take any of the anti depressants since they make me gain weight. I am taking Ativan 3 times per day and not seeing much improvement with the depression. When I was first diagnosed with Fibro they had me on so much stuff that I gained 38 lbs in 5 weeks which just about killed me. I was always a petite person and never in my life had a weight problem. I'm under 5 ft tall so a little weight looks like a LOT of weight. I have been on all the drugs like Savella, Cymbalta and the others can't think of the names thanks to major Fibro Fog.

I finally found a Rheumatologist who understood Fibro and was compassionate. Over the course of a few years she had me try everything possible pertaining to helping Fibro. Countless rounds with PT which was no help. After being with that doc for 3 years she finally told me I needed to go see a Pain Management Specialist who could help me more than she could. I have been with my Pain Management doc for 2 years now and I love her to death. I've had some bad experiences with doctors over the last 10 years so it's not easy for me to "like" doctors. She's done successful surgery on my neck and two months ago we did the lower back where you cauterize the nerves going to the spine....unfortunately that one did not work so I still have spasms whenever I do ANYTHING that uses those back muscles.

I know that many people believe wholeheartedly that it's vital to exercise at least a little and you'll feel better....that is NOT the case for everyone. The ONLY exercise that I'm able to do without serious repercussions is mild stretching. I have major neck and back issues that are made worse from the Fibro so I'm very limited in what exercise I could even try. Just had surgery on my lower back which was not successful. I'm faced with one more surgery this year and possibly another one. Not looking forward to those.

It's VERY hard emotionally when you have no one to support you or even anyone to talk to. For the most part I deal with it but at times I can't do anything but cry. I'm thankful for my 8 dogs or else I'd have no one to talk to or no contact with anyone. One reason why I sought out a message/support board again. I can very much relate to the useless feeling you are having.

Sounds like your doc is hesitant in what they will prescribe. Maybe you need to change doctors. You can do searches on the net for docs in your area and see if there are any Pain Management Specialists. You have my sympathy...I would not be able to take care of small children.

Sorry if my post is rambling and all over the place....I'm tired and the Fibro Fog is in full force right now.

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Old 09-10-2012, 05:19 AM   #7
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Re: Depression

Perhaps swimming will help you. Have you tried that?
Water therapy might help. Perhaps your husband doesn't really understand what is going on with you also.

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