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Irishree 11-13-2012 10:54 PM

Hi, random thoughts and some realizations
Hello! It's been a while since I've posted. I'm really having a hard time. I'm learning that you dont have to be in an active flare up to have fibro symptoms. This was something I was really confused about. I had a terrible flare up in July and it pretty much last all summer. Terrible. In the middle of September I had noticed most of the symptoms had least mildly. But..every day I had a horrible pain in a different area with the emphasis on my hands and neck..Hands hurt horribly every single day along with my neck. Now my neck was broken and operated on and is definitely a weak spot. I am diagnosed with chronic whiplash..yes that hurts! It is as painful as it sounds. I cannot even drive anymore because of the limited ROM i have. That sucks,,I have been driving since I was 17....31 years. It is a horrible feeling depending on everyone else all the time. But between the range of motion thing and all the meds I'm on..its just not a good idea to drive. Anyway. My jaw hurts when I chew..thats new. The paraesthesia is extremely annoying and sometimes makes me lose my balance as I stand and am so overwhelmed with the paraesthesia it catches me off balance. The cervical spine stenosis is scary as well. Pre surgical consult announced that existing pain, damage and conditions would not be resolved but they would not get any least not at the rate they were progressing at the time of pre surgery. After the surgery the pain was definitely reduced for a while but as time goes by I am feeling more and more the level of pain as before the surgery. is my day any day...have to hold railing very tight going up or down steps or my knees give out. I have already had 3 falls...broken ribs, concussions, bruised bones, I've whiplashed my whiplash several times. I have arthritis in my right foot and my spine from head to butt. Both knees. I cannot get out of bed right away. I have to take my meds..there are 12 of them and let them start working before I can start working on my day. A lot of days I have to stay in bed. I get up here and there and do stuff. My house is clean...thats from me. My kids cook most nights, They are all adults, but i still do once in a while. I am anxious to decorate for the holidays, i have some beautiful collections of Holiday Items and did not put them out last year becuse of the serious pain I was having and the impinged spinal cord and unsteady footwork. But this year I am . I am learning to push myself even if it means I have to stay in bed the following day. Life goes on! But my decorations are is in a crawl space you have to climb up into then climb through. I'm not doing that. I'm waiting for one of my sons to get the stuff out for me. I dont know why I am rambling. I hurt..My family is tired of hearing it..My friends keep saying.." must feel better, you look great". Then I tell them " really hurting", then they say.."well you dont look it." So now i just say sometimes..."yeah I feel great!' So tired of getting looked at like Im lying....its probably all in my head but it is what it is. I know you all understand. Please excuse the length. Theres even more. I have burning pains at the top of each breast right on my collar bone or sternum...thats new too. I already made a mammogram appt just to make sure its not an issue there. I don't get headaches any more since the surgery...thats the best thing. But I get terrible neck and shoulder pain..OMG my right shoulder hurts so much and my right hip hurts some days so much then the next day it doesnt. Now I have terrible pain in my lower back which I never had. I've lost 70 pounds since my surgery in March because i hurt so much sometimes, most of the time, I cannot eat. I thought if you lost weight your back pain got batter, not appeared out of nowhere where you never had it before. So I got the doc to do an xray and he said I have a problem with L5 and S1...yipee. So now we start all over again with pain management with needles and burnings and all that crap just to try and get a little relief. I'm so sorry If this bored you to death reading it. Im just feling a bit down from the pain. I had news that a great friend from my high school years passed. he was the most handsome, caring, fun, sincere friend I had in those years. He even spent one Christmas here when all my kids were little, with me and my husband because he had no wife or children. But I dont think I've seen him more than 3 times since then..and that was 12 years ago. Just melancholy and no one is home...everyone is picking up overtime on their second job. again...sorry. So does anyone relate to anything I was saying?? LOL or am I a total lunatic??? I hope you , my friends,all have a good, restful, as painless as possible night. If you post back ...great, Id appreciate it..if not...I'll see you on the boards!! :angel:

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