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  • Unable to gain weight and not ageing

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    Old 10-08-2019, 12:29 PM   #1
    alex1987
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    Unhappy Unable to gain weight and not ageing

    Hi everyone

    I have a couple of ongoing issues which are really getting me down. I have been to the doctors before about both of them but never got anywhere with a solution and all blood tests I have had in the past have been ok. I plan to go back as soon as possible but wanted to see if anyone had any thoughts on the issues I am experiencing.

    Iím male, just turned 32, 5ft 8ish and I weight 8 stone 7 currently.

    What has been making me feel very anxious and miserable for many years is the fact that I just do not age at all. I thankfully never get IDíd in pubs but did regularly until I was about 24. But through my working life so far I get constant comments about my appearance and how young I look. This upsets me so much after all these years and has knocked my confidence massively. I have friends and I go out regularly but I hate meeting new people and having to tell them my age and that Iím married, for fear of being insulted. I bumped into someone today who was in my halls at uni in 2007 and her first comment was ďwow you havenít aged a dayĒ. This might not sound like much but this is one of many hundreds of comments I have had, and canít forget.

    What doesnít help is that I find it impossible to put on weight. I am very underweight and my small frame is not helping with the problem of looking young. I have been a little over 9 stone at points but consistently hover around 8.5 stone despite eating quite big meals and doing minimal physical activity. I donít try to eat healthily but do have fruit and veg too. I just donít understand how I am not putting on any weight. Last year I dropped to 8 stone suddenly and this was put down to IBS which I developed towards the end of last year. Gradually some weight went back on but I look boney, my wrists are tiny and I am embarrassed of my overall appearance.

    Regarding my youthful looks, Iíve heard so many times ďyouíll be glad of it when youíre 40Ē but the problem is I will be 40 in only 8 years time and I am terrified that I will still look like I do now, because I have barely changed in over 10 years.

    Could there be some medical reason behind these issues? Could they be related?

    Thanks

     
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    Old 10-08-2019, 01:48 PM   #2
    MSNik
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    Re: Unable to gain weight and not ageing

    Only a doctor can tell you if there is a medical reason; but have you tried to bulk up with muscle? Use a gym, learn how to properly lift weights and how to eat to build muscle and this will help you gain weight. Muscle weighs more than fat- and gaining muscle will make a huge impact on your self esteem. When people start noticing your "big arms" or "strong legs" they will stop telling you how young you look.

    On the other hand, I cant help agreeing with those who have told you that you will be glad when you are older... at 40, maybe not so much- but when you are 60 if you still look 40, you'll be doing great!

    Change your appearance with health eating...not "minimal exercise" as you stated.
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    Old 10-09-2019, 12:07 AM   #3
    alex1987
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    Re: Unable to gain weight and not ageing

    Thanks for the advice!

    I have bought some weights which Iíve used a little but must admit not as much as I should have. A doctor once laughed off my whole issue and said not to do too much exercise as I have minimal fat to turn into muscle, but I am keen to do something about it. Having never been to a gym before though, what kind of routine should I be trying?

    And Iím definitely up for doing this through healthy eating, should I be consulting a nutritionist for specific advice for me?

    Have you ever heard of any medical reasons why someone may not be ageing?

    Thanks

     
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    Old 10-09-2019, 07:29 AM   #4
    JohnR41
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    Re: Unable to gain weight and not ageing

    Alex1987,

    Not aging fast enough is not considered to be an illness or disease. When someone says "wow, you haven't aged a day!" that means they like you and are giving you a complement. So, if the person likes you, why should you be insulted? When you get a complement like that just smile and complement them on something you like about them.
    Then enjoy that person's company.

     
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    Old 10-09-2019, 07:58 AM   #5
    Machaon
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    Re: Unable to gain weight and not ageing

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by alex1987 View Post
    ... What has been making me feel very anxious and miserable for many years is the fact that I just do not age at all. ... I am very underweight and my small frame is not helping with the problem of looking young.
    I have had the same problem for most of my 75 years. My father's nickname for me was "stringbean". I've got a small frame and for most of my life I've been skinny, especially now. I also could eat anything I wanted, at any time, and never gain weight. I would constantly snack, each and every day. It finally caught up with me, but I loved every moment and every mouthful!

    I don't know what to say to alleive your anxiety over this issue except the fact that I loved looking younger than my age and younger than my colleagues. For decades I looked much younger than my wife. Now, sad to say (but happy for her), she looks a lot younger than me!

    Perhaps you could concentrate on the positives more than the negatives.

    Regards, Bob
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    Old 10-09-2019, 01:09 PM   #6
    yayagirl
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    Re: Unable to gain weight and not ageing

    Well hello alex,

    The medical reason for your looks is your specific genetics. Youthful looks is not a disease. The "cure" is old age. Old age looks will be upon you soon enough. Why do you want to look old?

    I sure can understand the feeling you had when you were younger, but now it's time to grow up, hon! That is all there is to it. Caring about others looks way better to those who look at us than any other thing about us that we can do.

    We all wish we could retain a youthful look. People that remark on your looks are wishing they had your genetics or at the very least they are jealous that they don't have your genetics. So, smile and say thank you.

    It is not an insult to notice your youthful appearance. Even pixie looking people age, hon, and yes, you will too. Don't try to hurry the process. Be fit, of course. But be aware that makes you look younger, not older. Soon enough you will get old and wrinkled and hair will fall out and/or quit growing. It happens soon enough. Don't pursue that!!

    Most people wish they could change their looks somehow, anyway. People are notoriously concerned about themselves. Another word for it is self-centered. Read that definition and you will see it is not exactly a complement if others see us that way. I worried over being taller than other girls. It is a typical thing to compare our looks to others and worry over it.

    I did wish my hair did not begin to turn white when I was in my twenties. Yes that is when I got my first white hairs. By the time I was 40 the entire front of my hair was white and the rest was very dark brown. Then it all turned completely white before I was 55.

    Look around you, hon, and see what gnarly looks some others have to deal with. Then you will begin see that insecurity over looking youthful is not worth wasting time with. Appearance insecurity comes from dwelling on ourselves too much. What does matter is character. Enjoy your youthful looks while you have it, because it definitely will not last forever.

    Concentrate on becoming a fun and loving person that is caring and more interested in others than yourself. Laugh at your own insecurities and silliness. Just say thanks when you get complements on looking young for your age.

    Find some worthwhile interests.
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    Old 10-12-2019, 04:06 PM   #7
    Chainsoflove
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    Re: Unable to gain weight and not ageing

    Hi,


    You should go out and have fun with your friends. You have youthful looks, so you have been blessed. I still feel younger at my age, and will be reaching the 50 yr mark. I believe you will enjoy yourself if you stop worrying so much about how young you look. Beauty is only skin deep It is what is inside your heart and your personality that count the most. Keep your head up and be healthy and wise.

     
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