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    Old 05-09-2005, 06:40 PM   #1
    anonymous9
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    Obsessing about women

    Hey everyone.

    For some reason within the past few years I have been obsessing over a couple women in my life. One I knew in High School last year thats out of my life, and one that I work with that's in my life now.

    We'll start with the girl that I'm obsessed with now. She is a girl I work with. I've known her for almost a year. We never used to talk to each other, but now we do talk once in awhile. We like to joke around together when we do see each other and she's the type of girl that likes to laugh and is fun to be around. That is what started making me feel the way I do now. It's weird. I can't stop thinking about her. I don't even know if she likes me. I can picture myself spending the rest of my life with her, like we are soulmates. It seems like I can't look at another female, all I want to look at is her. She's so beautiful, intelligent, funny...everything. It seems like whenever I'm by myself I can't stop thinking about her and I get this real empty feeling inside me. Even taking finals for College I couldn't concentrate very well. Laying in bed at night seems to be the worst. I keep thinking...what would it be like to date her? What would we do together? Why am I obsessing over someone I know so very little about? She does already have a boyfriend though, and he's probably big enough to land on me and hurt me if he thought I was messing around with her. I found her AIM screenname online the other night, but every time I look at the pictures she has of herself on there I start feeling sad that I have no chance of being with her. She's this gorgeous popular girl, and I'm this average looking unpopular skinny guy.

    The other girl I mentioned that I used to be obsessed with I knew in High School. Last year when I was a senior at High School I was friends with her and I always thought about her. I knew her more than I do with the girl above but I still felt the same way about her. It seemed the only way to ease the pain of not being able to be together with her was to write her a Valentine's card to tell her how I felt and stick it in her locker. She never mentioned it to me that she got it, she just acted like normal a few days afterwards. I did find out a few months ago that she told someone else it was a nice try, but didn't impress her. We eventually graduated and she went in the Navy, and my feelings for her slowly faded away.

    With the first girl I mentioned, do you think my feelings will fade away after she goes off to College (she's a senior in High School right now) and out of my life? Am I just a hopeless lovesick guy?

     
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    Old 05-15-2005, 08:11 PM   #2
    Smooth23
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    Re: Obsessing about women

    Hopeless and lovesick.. Sounds like my constant girl problems. I just don't have the guts to talk to any that I'm attracted too, even in the rare off chance that one of them is flirting with me blatantly.

     
    Old 05-15-2005, 08:53 PM   #3
    smithn
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    Re: Obsessing about women

    First of all, it doesn't sound to me like you have a very high opinion of yourself. You are calling yourself hopeless, unpopular, average-looking and skinny. I would bet that you aren't any of these things. We don't see ourselves as others do and I'm not certain by what you are measuring your popularity but as far as being popular goes... being wise and successful is more important that worrying over how many people like you or want to hang out with you. You have to live to make yourself happy, not others. I'm not sure how much interest this girl has in you but don't be afraid to find out. I know she has a boyfriend but that doesn't mean you can't have great conversations with her and even drop her hints as to how you care about her. The worst she can do is decline you but the chance would be worth it and then you would know for certain where you stand in her heart. If you don't end up having a relationship with her then yes, I do think that you will eventually get over this girl, your feelings will fade and you will stop thinking about her altogether. Someone else will come along who interests you. Do yourself a favor and make it a point to not limit yourself by letting her consume your entire thoughts. Talk with other girls, get to know them. You said yourself that you "hardly know" this girl so I'm not sure how you can feel that she is your soul mate. I think you need to work on improving your self esteem and you will see how your life will start to change. When I think back to my high school days, I remember the most popular people and note that they weren't always perfect and beautiful - they were full of personality, were nice, and were a lot of fun to be around. You are probably more attractive than you feel and you most likely are being thought of by someone else, yourself!

     
    Old 05-20-2005, 07:07 PM   #4
    anonymous9
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    Re: Obsessing about women

    Boy do I have an update to this one.

    Tonight I was talking to the girl I mentioned above and with the manager of the store. The girl said that she thought she saw the manager getting in the trunk of his car today and we were joking around about it and I said that that's what all the cool people are doing these days. Then we started talking about what we were going to do later after we get out of work. So the manager says he's going to some party he found out about a little while ago and the girl says she's going to Walmart. I said I wasn't sure what I was going to be doing later, then the girl said "All the cool people go to Walmart" and she said it in the tone of voice where you weren't really sure if she was inviting you along or not. Then we got interrupted by someone. Man I wish I knew how to read women. I don't know how to tell her about these feelings I have for her. Everytime we're together I can feel this thing that I hardly ever feel in life. I get real tense and then start to relax, but still a little tense and nervous around her. Once we start laughing about things I ease up a little bit, and she comments on something, its like I was about to say the same thing! I just don't know how to tell her about this. She's going to be graduating, and the graduation party is open to all employees of the store, but I don't think I'd be wanted there. But after she graduates, she's leaving the store and heading off to College and I'll never see her again. I'll tell you what though. I'm not letting her walk out of my life without telling her about this. I just hope I don't make a fool out of myself.

     
    Old 05-21-2005, 07:59 PM   #5
    Kari7171
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    Re: Obsessing about women

    Don't worry about making a fool of yourself. Telling someone how you feel about them is not making a fool of yourself. No matter what there reaction is. She might say yes she might say no. If you don't say anything then you'll spend a long time wondering what could have happened if you had said something. Or another scenario is if you don't say anything and she leaves you will not be seeing her anymore and then you'll stop obsessing because you don't see her every day. You'll gain more confidence as you get older. You'll become more comfortable approaching women that you are interested in. One piece of advise though is if you never approach someone you are interested in then you will never get over the fear of it. You need to face your fears in all aspects of life.

     
    Old 05-21-2005, 09:17 PM   #6
    A_rafferty
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    Re: Obsessing about women

    Ok. I saw your post on this same topic in another thread. I had some feelings like "is this man a stalker" from seeing it earlier but decided not to comment because it didn't seem right. After seeing this posted again in here it just reaffirms my thoughts on this. You might want to go talk to a therapist before this gets out of hand and you start getting restraining orders. Perhaps, it is the word "obsession" you use or your wording. I don't know it just doesn't sound healthy. I would really recommend seeing someone about this before you ruin those poor girl's lives. I have had a stalker before and what you are saying is basically the same mindset that my stalker had. Please, before you go after these women go talk to someone about this, a psychologist...someone. Nip it in the Behind as they say before it becomes out of hand.

     
    Old 05-22-2005, 09:15 AM   #7
    anonymous9
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    Re: Obsessing about women

    This is the only thread I've ever made about this. When I use the word obsessed it means I can't stop thinking about her, not that I'm going to go kidnap her. I'm not that kind of person. I'm just trying to figure out what I should do with these strong feelings I have for this girl before she walks out of my life. I would never harm another individual.

     
    Old 05-22-2005, 10:23 AM   #8
    Kari7171
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    Re: Obsessing about women

    I see nothing in his post that sounds like he is a stocker. He is not following her or anything like that. He just thinks about her. There is nothing wrong with that. I am sure it has happened to all of us at one time or another. Just remember that if you approach her and she is not interested then you need to back off and accept it and move on with your life. Especially since it is someone you work with. Most work places have strict rules about that kind of thing.

     
    Old 05-22-2005, 11:01 AM   #9
    anonymous9
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    Re: Obsessing about women

    Exactly what I was thinking Kari. If she doesn't feel the same way that I do then there's no sense ruining my life over it. Just have to accept it and move on.

     
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