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  • Occasional Head rushes or false memories or not feeling real.

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    Old 04-06-2013, 08:40 PM   #1
    Tyuckl
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    Occasional Head rushes or false memories or not feeling real.

    Yo, hey, hi! Uh, ok so yeah, where do I begin?

    First, a little disclaimer, this could be nothing. Remember that. I could just be being completely dramatic and just not realise it. I am a teenager, we're notorious for blowing things out of proportion, but every so often I get weird feelings and they slightly... Uncomfortable in the head. So if it is nothing and I am just a weirdo who is experiencing something normal, feel free to message back and call me girl names and tell me I am bad.

    Oh, also I tend to use humour to diffuse situations or when I feel uncomfortable. I don't know why I do it, especially because I'm not particularly funny, but I don't want people to think I'm not being serious about this.

    Anyway, read on.

    So, Every so often, I'll get these weird head rushes, and I'll feel really dizzy for the moment, and then my brain will go all weird, and I'll have to really concentrate to separate what is real and what's fabricated. Sometimes this can be really hard too. once I had to convince myself that I did not have a daughter, which was... Weird. Bearing in mind, still a teenager.

    Sometimes I also have really clear memories, that are relatively vivid, that I know have never happened. I'm not talking about false childhood memories that have been manipulated over years, but stupid small trivial stuff that could have happened from two weeks to two years ago.

    Every so often I'll have moments where nothing feels real, or that there is something that shouldn't be there in my surroundings. I also get moments of slight depression (mostly down to teenage angst I think) but it can be pretty heavy sometimes. Like when I think of the colossal scale of the universe, I feel so insignificant. But them I start to think that because I am so obsolete, nothing I do can actually have consequences. I don't like talking about that, I feel really uncomfortable sharing my emotions often.

    Slight footnote to that, I've started to really enjoy my own company, and start to... Slightly... Despise the company of others. Even my friends. It's just like everyone annoys me and I don't want to play anymore. (which is cool, it's probably mutual, whatevs)

    Uh, what else from the freak basket? Oh, I know. Now choose to believe this or not, but I am telling you that this is categorically true.

    Now this story is really long because i accidentally wrote every damn detail in the dream, but it covers everything. I have however included a TL;DR version at the end of the tale.

    I digress, when I was a kid (about 10 -11) I used to have weird dreams. Nothing awesome about them, they were completely trivial. Like one dream was about me going on a school trip to the local university for a competition. We get to the area, it's basically a gym hall. Green floors with white stripes, blue walls with green stripes. The colour scheme sucked, but hey who am I to complain?

    We had to make model airplane from paper and wood and card and stuff. There were rows and rows of tables, I was near the back of the room. On the other side, in the left corner was a 'shop' (two tables that formed a square with the walls), where you bought all your equipment and supplies from. You didn't use real money, every group was given a certain amount of credits beforehand and you 'bought' your stuff with that.

    In the right corner was another square of tables and all along the right wall was a different completion. Something with sand and funnels. I didn't pay to much attention in the dream, because there was a time limit and I was pretty engrossed in my work. I was working with two strangers who's faces I didn't recognise.

    I'm looking down at this wing I made for the plane and then I look up to see the hall and all the people in it, and I look at the far wall and the shop, and then the dream went weird I think. I don't remember anything past that point except that we lost the completion by a landslide.

    Anyway, when I'm fifteen my D&T teacher invites me on this trip to the local university. And I get there and we go to the gym hall which has a tacky colour scheme of green floors with white stripes, blue walls with green stripes. You get the point, it was exactly the same. Even the friends who I went on the trip with turned out to be the strangers in my dream. The shop system was the same, as was the shops location. The other tests involving sand lined the right wall.

    [TLR] (I had a dream years ago when I was around ten, and then when I was fifteen, nearl every detail of the dream came true. It was only a trivial event, it was competition at a local Uni to build an airplane out of scrap from a mock shop. )

    I don't notice anything at first, until I look up from making the wing and see the exact same view as the dream, and the memory hit me, and it felt like the front of my brain was being electrocuted or was on fire. I don't know why, but my brain felt 'fuzzy' almost like it was made of spiky fur.

    I get really really dizzy and feel like I'm going to throw up so I sit down and then I don't remember anything else for a while in that memory. Whenever I think about it I feel a little bit sick and my brain feels weird again.

    I'm not saying I dream the future or anything. I don't think I'm a magic man. But I can say with true certainty that I dreamed a (dissapointingly trivial) event years before it happened.

    This has happened a few times actually. None as bad as that first time, but it still gives my brain a spasm.

    Dear lord, this turned out to be long. Sorry for the epic feature length novel guys. I went overboard I think...


    Uh yeah, so i dont know what i expect from this 'confessions of a lunatic' session.

    I mean, if someone could tell me what's wrong and how to stop it from happening that'd be great.

    If anyone has experienced similar stuff, then let me know. Tell me if anything in particular brings it on, or induces it, or how you control it, or if you can't control it. Anything, just to let me know that I'm not the only madman!

    If no one has felt this, feel free to abuse me and call me a freak. Whatever I can take it. So yeah.

    I want to leave with a cool sign off like 'peace out Ombré' but I am definitely not cool enough for that to work, so I think I'll just end awkwardly...

    ...ok?

     
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