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What to do? i miss my mummy and they aren't helping

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Old 12-22-2006, 07:39 AM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Au
Posts: 14
Shellyshelly HB User
What to do? i miss my mummy and they aren't helping

hello i don't know if this is the right category or if i should even be saying this but i really need to vent some of this out and i guess this is the best place i can think of. anyways long story short, i'm 19 and i lost my mama to a NSCLC with a brain tumor after all the many, many lies i lost her on the 1st of September. and i miss her more than ever esp at this time of the year.

i guess what i;m trying to ask is that did/is anyone
(insert extremely angry words in here) - 'peed' off with their any of their family memebrs?

when my mama passed away. my family they started to boss me around. 2 of them even swore at me. and all of them tells me constanly how i should feel. like if i told them i feel mad then they either say 'you can't feel that way' or they start to swear saying thiings that doesn't even relate one of them said quote: 'its not about you its about mom and dad' end quote. another one of them, just 2 weeks ago started to swear at me.. and i'm her neice! and this wasn't swear and stop this was: 'come out of your room and face me you chicken****, i will slap you. you think i;m scared of you..'

i'm just, i'm so mad. i can't tell anyone, i can't talk to anyone because this is my family. all of them are like this. and i don't know what to do. what can i do? no one listens because i'm only a kid. or i'm not mature yet. i'm sick and tired of this.
they do not know what its feels like. they don't know what i feel like! i miss my mom! and all they are doing is making me feel more... ******.
i remember when my ma passed away and its tradition that we keep this shrine of her for 7 weeks. and one of my uncle - the one that i quoted above, he bought one of his.. 'flings'... to MY home! and it wasn't even a month my mom passed!! then he goes and tell me whats right and whats wrong!
its so !!! for me to even think about it. yet i do anywyas. because everyone i live with everyone one that surrounds me DO NOT understand!
i don't know what to do. its painful and hard enough withou my mom but them doing that is making it more harder.
anyways thanks for listening or reading. not feeling any better but i'm venting in a way.

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Old 12-23-2006, 02:39 AM   #2
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Ke
Posts: 327
CoyoteBound HB User
Re: What to do? i miss my mummy and they aren't helping

You should just explain to them that your hurt, your angry that your Mom is gone and that you have got to greive in your own way because there is no one alike when it comes to greiving. There is no time period on it, and they just need to let you get it out but it's best for you to come out and try to talk to them and explain to them the way you feel and see if that will help things at all. You may be a kid, but I know you feel like you need your Mom just like I think I need mine and I am way from being a kid. Your going to go through all kinds of emotions. You will have good days and you will have bad days. Try to find someone to talk to even if it's a friend, a neighbor or someone you can trust and just sit down and let it out. I think you would feel much better.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and please keep us updated as how you are doing. We do care about you!

Old 12-28-2006, 05:30 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Vancouver,Wa,USA
Posts: 250
smackliet HB User
Re: What to do? i miss my mummy and they aren't helping

I am so sorry that you are going through this and not getting the comfort you so need right now. I know they are all probably angry and on edge and taking it out on you or each other. It is such a stressfull time. And it will not just end the pain has to slowly subside, but you will always miss you dear mummy. Death is a thief with no boundries. It hurts so many My Daddy just died this last summer from liver failure. I miss him every day. Some time we just need to cry till there is no more left and sometimes the anger is overwhelming. I wish i could sit with you and give you comfort you poor girl. We need our mummys its so unfair. I agree with the post above you should try to find someone you can share your thoughts and feelings with face to face but for now we are here for you....Keep posting. I will watch for you.
When you think about your mom try to remember your most comforting times with her. Let her memory be of comfort too.
Again I am so sorry for your loss.

Old 12-28-2006, 12:09 PM   #4
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: slc, utah
Posts: 502
liz49 HB Userliz49 HB Userliz49 HB Userliz49 HB Userliz49 HB User
Re: What to do? i miss my mummy and they aren't helping

Shelley-you aren't a kid, you are an adult! And guess what? You have the right to feel anyway you want/need to. Grief is such a personal emotion. You must process your loss, deal with it and eventually move on, but no one call tell you the exact timeline and no one has the right to tell you to not feel. That's like telling you not to "be". Try to avoid family members who aren't supportive--take long walks, talk to yourself and to your mom (yes, I firmly bellieve in an afterlife) and let yourself take the time to heal from the pain of the loss. Believe it or not, you will come to terms with this. One day you'll find yourself laughing and you'll think "How can I do this?" and you'll realize that you are going to be ok. Don't be a part of any fights, etc., if you can avoid them. Everyone grieves differently, even innapropriately at times. You do what you need to do. Time does indeed heal.
I am sorry for your loss. But you will be ok.

Old 12-28-2006, 06:49 PM   #5
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 341
cher1052 HB User
Re: What to do? i miss my mummy and they aren't helping

Shelly-Everyone handles grief in different ways-amazing how some of us can chat/cry..other people don't like to talk about it. But to have people snap at you-yell at you-swear-ask them not to talk to you if they can't say anything nice/decent. I have to agree with liz-take a long walk-I'm having a hard time still after losing my mom about 6 mths ago. All my sisters/brother married-I'm single-have no one to come home to-it's hard. Christmas was really hard for me-esp at christmas eve service! That's why I keep checking out this site-i need someone outside of family to chat with! cherie

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