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Why am I still so sad?

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Old 07-18-2007, 06:37 PM   #1
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: N.In
Posts: 141
Karen44 HB User
Why am I still so sad?

I lost my husband of 18 years,16 months ago,I just can not get over his death!! God knows I have tried,I went to his grave today and sat there for over an hour bawling my eyes out I miss him so much at times it's unbearable!!
I have tried to move on with my life, remarrying ,my new husband is wonderful to me,I have a great home,nice things but still I am always thinking of my late husband!!
I just wish I could bring him back,I know I can't, this pain worsens everyday even though I try to push it back at times my emotions come spilling out!!
My new husband is dumbfounded by this,he doesn't have a clue why I act like this,I am afraid to tell him for fear of hurting him!!
Is there anyone that feels the same way and how do you handle it,I need some help!!

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Old 07-19-2007, 01:26 AM   #2
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: MUMBAI
Posts: 22
logsameer HB User
Re: Why am I still so sad?

I understand you are always in the past and not in the present and also you dont want to be practical.this is life my dear and you have to play your present role we all will meet each other beyond time and space.insert yourself in some activity which will keep you busy something like helping helpless.
care for your present hubby.dont feel bad but my question to you is (god forbid) what if any thing happens to your hubby .what you will think then?
people understands the other persons value when he/she is no more.
love him, talk to him ask what he likes or dislikes.if you cannot share your feeling with him no proplem but you can share his. am i right.
open the door of your heart and give him some space you ill realise life is beautiful.
cry once and cry alot its your own emotions no one has the rights to stop you crying but make your self strong after that.

i wish you good luck sorry if i have hurt you.

Old 07-19-2007, 08:30 AM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: earth
Posts: 1,329
marshmallow HB User
Re: Why am I still so sad?

Karen, I am so sorry this is so difficult for you. My husbands death is new to me but the grief is so raw. I am living with guilt and pain because tho I loved my husband we were divorcing because he was full of rage and violence. He was bipolar/borderline personality and was a wonderful, sweet and kind man that would not accept he had a problem and it was out of control so it cancelled who he really was. This is so difficult for me and I have to stop feeling guilt. I do not want to ever forget him and the love we did share. I hope that you can come to terms with your husbands death and learn to enjoy your present life. Have you considered counseling? I am going to do that and find a grief group and let go. It won't mean you dont love him just that you have to be healthy and live in the present. This has to be terrible for you to endure. I am so sorry.

Last edited by marshmallow; 07-29-2007 at 12:46 PM.

Old 07-19-2007, 02:22 PM   #4
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Charleston, SC USA
Posts: 79
Psimer HB User
Re: Why am I still so sad?

Karen, Please call your local hospice and see if you can join a Grief Therapy group. I understand you pain and the tears but you need to talk to someone who can truely understand why you feel the way you do and help you let go a little bit. You are putting your current marriage into danger.

I know you loved him. I also know that he is with you. He would not want to see you like this. Time for you to consider therapy so you can cope rather than cry.


Old 07-20-2007, 04:17 AM   #5
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 35
jason74 HB User
Re: Why am I still so sad?

hi Karen_44 I feel your pain. I also feel pain for your current husband.

My wife died last year. I too have remarried and my wife is wonderful to me, but I can honestly say I don't wish my first wife was here. She is in a much better place, a perfect place with no death or sin. It would be selfish of me to want her back. She is where she always longed to be, with her creator.

Things won't make you feel better. A new home want make you feel better. Not even a new husband. Only God can restore you.

I have such a wonderful life now. I am forever wounded by my past but that doesn't mean my life isn't great. I could not possibly be happier.

Turn to God and he will heal you. Until you understand we are here for God and God alone, you will always struggle with this. He wants to take it from you, just let him have it.

I will pray for you.


Old 07-21-2007, 02:18 PM   #6
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: united states
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SBM1 HB User
Re: Why am I still so sad?

deleted my post

Last edited by SBM1; 07-23-2007 at 02:38 PM.

Old 07-29-2007, 06:49 PM   #7
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Posts: 1,329
marshmallow HB User
Re: Why am I still so sad?

SBM how are you? We talked on another thread.

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