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Old 08-13-2007, 07:47 AM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 343
shorti HB User

my mother past away over 2 years ago. she was cremated and her wishes were to be buried with her father(who is still alive) and her grandparents who are already buried. they all eventually will be in the same grave. my parents divorced about 10 years ago. my father blames my mothers side of the family for this. mum couldnt afford court costs or to buy a new house after the property settlement and she was raising me and my 2 brothers and sisters. so her father paid for the remaining of the house. when the house was sold after my mum's death, he got his money back and the rest was split up between my brothers and sisters and we dont receive this till we turn 25. my father thinks we should get all of the money because he bought a house with my mum after they got married and its the "family home." now, because my grandfather has his money back, my father doesnt want my mum buried with him or her grandparents so after 2 years she still hasnt been buried and this is upsetting me. i have had so many arguments with dad about this. its not fair. i live with my dad so its not like i can take my mums ashes and bury them because my dad will get angry. i went and spoke to my mum's sister, brother and father about this. my grandfather is leaving what he would of left to my mum in his will to myself and my siblings so its not like they have stolen money from us. this is all really upsetting for me. i dont care about money. my mother deserves to be laid to rest. this is the last thing i can do for her but the situation im in makes it difficult.

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Old 08-13-2007, 10:21 AM   #2
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 19,277
Titchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB User
Re: upsetting

Your father has no say where his EX wife is buried. Follow her wishes.

Old 08-14-2007, 08:18 AM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Charleston, SC USA
Posts: 79
Psimer HB User
Re: upsetting

Talk to a lawyer about burying your mother. Her ex husband has no say over what she wants and what she doesn't want. Your father has no say over who gets what money. Your father is being a pig because he wants to be in control of the situation and he isn't.

Find a lawyer. There is no logical reason why her ashes cannot be buried. And then just ignore whatever your father says. Once you are out of his house you can do as you please and he has no say in anything.

Too bad he still holds a grudge even after your mother has died. It's really petty on his part.


Old 08-15-2007, 07:26 AM   #4
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 343
shorti HB User
Re: upsetting

yeh i know, tell me about it. i still live with him so thats whats making it so hard. like in 2001 he got accused of hitting my mum. he didnt do it but my mums family said he did. he thinks they did and when my grandfather dies, he will go in the same grave as my mum. my dads like why would you want your mum in with him when its possible he did this. at the end of the day whatever happened, whether my mothers father hit her or not, mum still wanted to go there. my mum was an alcoholic so she fell over and bruised herself but sometimes she will have dreams about things that never happened so she probably dreamt my dad hit her when he didnt. so thats why he is also annoyed.

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