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loss of a grown child

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Old 08-05-2008, 04:44 PM   #1
foxey lady
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: pa
Posts: 16
foxey lady HB User
Unhappy loss of a grown child

i lost my girl in july 7 2007. in 2006 we found out she had lung cancer that had mets to the brain. we did everything we could possibly do.. she went to nashville to the cancer center there. in june of 2007 she went to the hospital for the last time. she was in there two weeks. before that she had another tumor come behind her right eye. that was very difficult to see. we lost her on the 7th of july. i don't really know how i done what i did. like picking out her clothes and so forth. after the funeral everybody went back to there lives except me. i stayed right there. i did not want to leave. i guess i am still there. i can't get out of my mind the last two weeks of her life. the cancer had taken over her brain. she did not even act the same. i remember one of the nurses said to me (that is not the tonya you once new. the one i knew is gone) her feet and leg turned black. i raised up the sheet and there it was. the nurse said does that bother you? of course it bothers me. i just wanted to let you all in on a little bit of what i am going thur. i was wondering if any body out there is doing the same? my heart is broke and i don't know if it will ever go away. on i forgot she left a 10 year girl behind. she is living with me. i am 60 years old. i ask god why did you take her why not me. she had a little girl to raise. they say you are not suppose to ask why. well i am going to go for now will post more later. please help me

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Old 08-06-2008, 07:54 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida, usa
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sweetjerseygirl HB User
Re: loss of a grown child

I am very sorry for the loss of your daughter. Even though your heart is broken, they say time will heal. Poor girl but at least her suffering is over, maybe you can think of that when you feel like you cannot get out of the black hole. I hope you and your grandchild can help one another, her heart must be broken also, so hold on to one another. It becomes very difficult when everyone leaves and goes back to their normal life, so now its time for you and your grandchild to try and heal from that awful experience. Perhaps the both of you can somehow find a way to do good. Remember the things she loved. When my mother passed i made a little flower garden in front of my house. I have a gardian angel on one side of the garden and on the other side i have two children playing on a seesaw. That is me and my twin brother and even though we are older now, i have her overlooking us. It just makes me smile and keeps her closer to me. I hope you can try and focus on something of that nature. When a girl i worked with died at an early age from cancer, her wishes where to plant a tree in a park where she would bring her young grandchildren to play. This way when they were there, they could still be around her. And think of the wonderful times they shared when they were together there, or if they didnt remember, when their parents brought them there, they could tell them stories about Grand-ma. I hope you find some comfort soon and im so sorry you are going thru this.........

Almighty God, Father of all mercies and giver of all comfort: Deal graciously, we pray thee, with those who mourn, that casting every care on thee, they may know the consolation of thy love, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

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