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Missing Him

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Old 01-11-2009, 02:42 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Lexington Ky
Posts: 52
showe0005 HB User
Missing Him

You miss them

You miss them not being around

You miss them not being in your life

But more than that……

You miss the feeling of being held,

Of seeing their smile when they see you.

Of them gently kissing you not for sexual pleasure but because they love you more than life itself…

Yes, I miss him not being here but more than that I miss the love that surrounded our life.

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Old 01-11-2009, 05:46 PM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: NJ, United States
Posts: 1,471
caringsister54 HB Usercaringsister54 HB Usercaringsister54 HB Usercaringsister54 HB Usercaringsister54 HB User
Re: Missing Him

Dear Showe005.

I will tell you what I miss as a widow .

I miss knowing who I was, what my purpose in life was and having a life!!!

I swear -- even though God and Mikey sent me Joe to help me get through each day, there isn't a heartbeat that I'm not thinking of my Mikey.

I am cheated. We had so many plans, so many dreams. the rubbing two nickels together to try to get it to bleed $1.00. How many set backs, how many times did we struggle. Things were suppose to get easier. Life was suppose to be better and then the phone call! The phone call that said there's strange things occurring with the blood tests and we have to see another doctor. And then that phone call! that said, you will need a kidney transplant within 5 years and there's a 10 year wait so get on the list. And then the denial for getting on the list because he just wasn't sick enough. And the battle between family doctor who kept telling me he's going to have a heart attack if he's not treated better and a kidney doctor who kept pacifying husband and both of them not rushing to be put on dialysis and then what happened???? The heart attack in my living room, 2 1/2 hours after being released from the hospital from having a minor heart attack!

And my life as I know it, or knew it, is over. And even with this wonderful gift of a serene, kind, caring, loving boyfriend, I hate having separate lives. Dating at 50+ with kids involved on both sides, causes me pain because everyday I'm in a living hell -- a limbo. I don't belong to my Mikey anymore and I can't belong to my Joe yet.

Can I say life stinks? maybe but it certainly has changed. I lost my purpose for being. I'm waiting for God to tell me what I'm suppose to do now.

God? Are you home? Are you listening?

Old 01-27-2010, 08:17 PM   #3
mari helen
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: washington state
Posts: 2
mari helen HB User
Re: Missing Him

yes you are right we miss htem. And all they meant to us. I lost my husband last March and daily find myself looking for his loving care of me. We were married 30 years. Neve sais a unkind word to each other. I too feel he was the best thing to happen to me except Jesus dying for me. I cannot do but one day at a time. I have lots of support and that helps but it is so lonely.

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