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dcote1 12-22-2009 09:02 PM

Lost without her
I am new to this particular board. I am hoping writing and reading here will help me. I lost my sister abruptly a year ago December 11th, to kidney cancer. I am so lost without her. She was my best friend. She knew things about me that noone knew. She was my confidant, my protector, my heroine. My everthing. We are (were) many years apart in age, 8 to be exactg, but we were so close. We told each other everything about our lives, our hearts, what we were going through. Our hopes. Our secrets. Our sins. We shared hells from the past, and talked each other through the hard times. I have lost such a big part of who I am, that I no longer know who I am. There are time when I think I will be okay, and then, it hits. She's gone, and she's not coming back. And I go crazy trying to figure out what to do with myself, and what my future is going to hold without having her by my side. I know I am being so selfish to want her with me, because I know she is at peace, and she is okay with God. It is me that is not at peace. And I'm scared that I never will be. I am sure many of you know what I mean and can understand how I feel. I guess I had to get this out and I hope all of you can feel better, more and more each day. People tell me it takes time, but what do you do in the mean time? On the dark days, I feel like the only person on the earth,and in such darkness, I cannot see any light. All alone.
I wish all of you peace, and love, and much more brighter days than dark. Thank you for letting me get some of this out.
Peace, Love, and Light

megan06 12-26-2009 09:19 AM

Re: Lost without her

I'm very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.


dcote1 12-27-2009 12:00 AM

Re: Lost without her
Thank you so much. I appreciate that.God Bless.

Kaylani27 01-02-2010 09:30 AM

Re: Lost without her
I totally can relate to your posting. i will pray for you.

sechelt sister 02-01-2010 02:03 AM

Re: Lost without her
You explain the feelings so well. Writing helps. I've always been interested in the grieving process because it really caused me to get depressed in 1982. So, I've studied it, took therapy and ended up writing about it. All the best to you.

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