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Grief & Loss Message Board

Joseph John

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Old 01-15-2010, 09:55 AM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 1
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Unhappy Joseph John

Almost 2 years and the pain from losing my son is still as strong as ever. I've just learned to block it a little better.

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Old 01-26-2010, 09:26 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 27
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Re: Joseph John

I'm sorry to hear of your loss - losing anyone important to us is always difficult, but we never imagine that we will outlive our child.

You says it's been 2 years since you lost your son and the pain is just as strong. I just want to say, in case you have any doubt, that this is completely normal. 2 years is not very long in the grand scheme of things and you suffered a very significant loss. There is no set time limit for grief, you need to let it take its course and allow yourself to feel sad. Blocking your feelings can only prolong the pain and make life even harder in the long run.

The fact is, nobody expects you to completely "get over it" (or they shouldn't). It's unrealistic to think that you can fully get over a loss like this. But there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will find a way to live a full life again. I often tell people (I have some experience in the field of loss and grief) to think of their loss as a large boulder. In the beginning, the boulder is huge and heavy and it seems impossible to move forward while trying to drag it around. But as life goes on, gradually the boulder gets smaller and eventually becomes a small rock, which you can keep in your pocket. It's still there; it always will be. But it's lighter now and easier to walk with.

Seek support from those around you. The grief may not be as strong for them and they may need an occasional reminder that you still need their support. Allow yourself to grieve for as long as it takes and eventually you will be able to look back and think of your son and smile. Cherish any memories you have of him and keep him in your heart forever.

Take care.

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