It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Grief & Loss Message Board

Mother blames 17 year old son for her dying

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-05-2010, 07:11 PM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1
OregonGirl001 HB User
Mother blames 17 year old son for her dying

Help! My new husband has been an alcoholic since about the age of 17 when his mother looked him straight in the eye while on her deathbed and told him he was the reason why she was dying. Don't know how a woman could do that mental damage to her own son. He obviously drinks to kill the pain of remembering what she told him. I'm looking for direction in how to get him help and to realize that he didn't contribute to his mother's death. Any suggestions would be welcome.

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 12-05-2010, 07:31 PM   #2
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,100
writeleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB User
Re: Mother blames 17 year old son for her dying

I do not know how old your husband is now, but with his alcoholism being many years in the making, it is highly unlikely that there is anything you can simply say to help him out of this.

He will likely need in patient treatment where he can both stop drinking safely, as well as receive in depth counseling to unravel years of trauma induced by the words of his mother.

First he will need to make the decision that he is ready for treatment. Without his complete participation, overcoming alcoholism is impossible.

It is very compassionate of you to be willing to start your marriage off with such a daunting task, but your future together will be highly uncertain if the drinking is an unwanted partner in your relationship.

Has he expressed a heartfelt desire to do what it takes to stop drinking, or is this more on your part? In what ways have you seen his drinking impact your relationship so far, if any? I wish both of you the best as you start your new life together.

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
My father died a year ago, my mother just now. heatherton Grief & Loss 2 10-13-2009 05:35 AM
Mum died one year ago today blckbook Grief & Loss 1 09-29-2009 09:33 AM
My mother's suffering haunts me daily.... wmkcolors Grief & Loss 3 07-11-2008 02:47 PM
My Mother can't move forward..... sam673 Grief & Loss 0 06-06-2008 09:50 AM
Death of Mother and Father KarmaMaria Grief & Loss 2 11-03-2007 03:40 PM
my dad passed a year ago today violaroses Grief & Loss 1 08-24-2007 01:51 PM
Sudden loss of mother 5 years ago marcusjj Grief & Loss 6 05-14-2007 02:59 PM
Loss of my mother jsmyers8000 Grief & Loss 88 11-14-2005 04:16 AM
Hard for me every year in March Kazyme Grief & Loss 6 03-20-2005 02:38 AM
3 deaths in one year... life for rent Grief & Loss 9 01-22-2005 08:49 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:38 AM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!