It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Grief & Loss Message Board

Why do I see him even in things we never did together

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 05-12-2011, 03:23 PM   #1
Join Date: May 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1
llagd HB User
Why do I see him even in things we never did together

I meet my husband when I was 16. I just knew at that time he the one. Two years later we got married (I was pregnant), within another year I was pregnant again and left him due to drugs and alcohole. Young and stupid neither willing to fight for each other and making alot of stupid mistakes we never made it back to one another. Although we remained married for 23yrs. Both of us went on to live our lives. He meet someone else built a life with her. I haven't had a serious relationship in almost 20yrs. I believe I always loved him and always would. Even the one man I did try to build a life with told me that and I never really dated again. I never filed for a divorce I think deep down it was my way of still being connected to him. My husband and I remained friends talking every couple of days he would tell me about his problems with his girlfriend or what ever he had on his mind at the time. When he got sick we had talked about him coming to stay with me in PA (he and the gf were not good). He promised our children he be coming. Then when it was time for him to come he broke my heart and it never mended. Even thou we had two children together, after that I never spoke to him unless I absolutly had to. Only seem him 4x in 10yrs. and spoke to him even less. One of which was only 2mths before he died at his fathers funneral. I knew at that time it was a matter of time and still I did not reach out, what good would it of done anyway.... he lived a 1000 miles away with another person. I did not go to the hospital or to the funneral even though his family had repeatly asked me to. Some of whom I havent spoken to in years my phone was ringing off the hook. I got my two children on plains and when they got there they had a few minutes with him before they made the descion to terminate life support. My heart was breaking I really wanted to be there but knew even though we were still married it was not my place to go and stay in his house with his girlfriend and I could not afford a hotel room. Although I did ask for some of his ashes... And even though we were not together for so meny years I miss him now more then ever... at least when he was alive I still felt about of him and now I have nothing no one to even talk to that would understand how I am feeling. And in the past few days I keep seeing in diffrent things ... things we never even did together. Like yesterday I was helping a friend take down a dead rree and instead of seeimg my friend doing it I saw my husband.... I built a fire outside last night and he was sitting with me... I bought a pack of cigarettes today and almost bought him a pack to (and I havent even bought him a pack in almost 20yrs). A couple of days ago I went looking for my favorite flannel shirt of his to put on (I finally threw it away about 10yrs ago because it was falling apart). Am I losing my mind? My daughter told me she overheard her aunt and his girlfriend talking about why he never divorced me and married her. All she heard was that he told her didnt want to divorce me but didnt hear the reason. I really want to know why. He built a life with her.

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 06-21-2011, 11:29 AM   #2
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 9
Orchid1991 HB User
Re: Why do I see him even in things we never did together

You are not losing your mind. What do you believe about the afterlife? Maybe this is his way to reach out to you and to tell you that he always thought about you and wants you to know he is okay.

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Absentee Father Died - How Can I miss someone I Never Knew? writermom1 Grief & Loss 8 10-23-2012 05:32 PM
The pain will never end redwind30 Grief & Loss 2 07-15-2010 10:27 AM
How do you handle people who say such evil,cruel things aout your murdered family mem Davidsaunt Grief & Loss 9 02-21-2010 08:00 AM
My father died a year ago, my mother just now. heatherton Grief & Loss 2 10-13-2009 05:35 AM
I am lost and in the most unbearable pain i could have never imagined landshere15 Grief & Loss 5 04-21-2009 05:07 AM
Ultrasound this morning and not even happy about it.... Nina1978 Grief & Loss 7 11-17-2008 09:13 AM
My father just died and I feeling so sad and confused. heatherton Grief & Loss 16 09-18-2008 04:48 AM
to scrappi...loss of my dad ladybug8372 Grief & Loss 3 02-14-2008 12:06 PM
i need someone to relate... talkshowhost Grief & Loss 9 05-19-2007 05:46 PM
Never got to say 'goodbye' penybobeny Grief & Loss 4 03-19-2006 05:31 AM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:23 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!