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How to help a partner who is grieving

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Old 06-29-2011, 08:20 AM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 4
KK82 HB User
How to help a partner who is grieving

Recently (on Memorial Day) my boyfriend of 6 years lost his mother to liver failure. He's grieving hard right now and I feel totally lost on how to help. I'm always there for him, but I feel like there's something I could be doing. Because I feel this way, my own anxiety has spiked greatly. I have tried suggesting that he go to grief counseling groups, but he doesn't seem interested. He does see a therapist but he's still quite depressed, anxious, and occasionally agoraphobic. I've never dealt with a situation like this, and I need some suggestions as to how I can help him through this.

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Old 10-19-2011, 06:31 PM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
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jdavis210 HB User
Re: How to help a partner who is grieving

I lost my mom last year. I hide all my feelings from my boyfriend of 7 years. The reason I hide my feelings is because when I talk about my mom, he listens but doesn't say anything back so it makes me feel like I am bothering him. The time I have cried to him, he will hug me and tell me it's okay to feel this way. I already know it is okay to feel this way. The best thing for you to do is pretend either your mother or father died in the same way his mother died. And really imagine they are gone forever. Imagine you will never be able to talk to them again so the last thing you said to them is it. Honestly there is really nothing you can do except try to be in his place and never make him feel like he is a downer or that you are tired of him always being sad. When he is ready then he will reach out to a support group.

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