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spoooon 08-10-2011 06:10 AM

Overcoming the loss of the most amazing girl. EVER.

Then..... After meeting in Oct 2008 at University we quickly become best friends and then began a relationship around April 2009. We loved each other so much and lived in Thailand for nearly two years after graduating from university. We left our jobs in Thailand to go to India. We were in India for 3 weeks, we visited a place where we both said was the most beautiful place we had ever seen . EVER. Then my life turned upside down.

My life turned upside down in just a few minutes on 25th June when my girlfriend got taken by a river in India. I dived into help but she was trapped under water and i couldn't free her. With my hand on her cheek and my arm around her she went unconscious. After this i was now trying to free her from the rocks only to end up losing her in the river. We found her three days later about a km down the river. I spent everyday searching fro her until a local villager found her. Hours later its hit both internation and national news and its everywhere. We quickly repatriated her and the funeral took place on 12th July.

Now...... its the 10th August and im hurting still. Im not in denial. Im not avoiding her. I am just the saddest i have ever and will ever be in my life. My heart aches. I miss her laugh. I miss her hugs and cuddles. I wake up in the morning hugging my pillow and wonder where she is. I miss the special intimacy we had. I miss how freakin sexy she was. I dream of her all the time in everyday situations as if she is still alive. I dream of hysterical laughter with her or on my own. Then i wake up and i cant laugh. I have immersed myself in the million pictures we have of our travels. I have made videos of us with music . I wear her shirt around my waist everyday with anything im wearing. I listen to our favourite music everyday. I wear a scorpion around my neck as she was a proud scorpio. I wanna talk about her everyday. Im designing a tattoo that i want to symolise her and the influence she had on mylife.

I guess what im asking is if this is normal behaviour? Am i helping myself? I have never experienced loss of a loved one or family so i dont know what im doing and this seems like a place where i wont feel alone in my emotions.

I have lost my travel companion, my best friend and the person i loved the most in this life. I need some help.

ogs2003 09-08-2011 04:27 AM

Re: Overcoming the loss of the most amazing girl. EVER.
What a terrible thing to happen and I am so terribly sorry.

I am no expert on grief and am myself struggling with its effects, but I do know that everyone deals with it differently, there is no right or wrong way. The things you describe are just your way of coming to terms or accepting that she has gone and this is such a difficult thing to do. The enormity of losing somebody you love is something we cannot prepare for, especially when we lose someone suddenly in this way. You miss her, its hard I know. I hope that with each day you learn to remember all the good times you both had, and the love you shared and can do this with a smile and without so much pain.
And remember, you are not alone in your grief there is always someone to express your feelings to if it helps in some way. I for one totally understand.
Take care

Juliemb30 09-23-2011 03:07 PM

Re: Overcoming the loss of the most amazing girl. EVER.
I completely understand what you are going through. I lost my boyfriend July 17th of this year from heart complications. He was the most amazing person I have ever known and he showed me what true love really is. And now my life is full of pain. I have very little left of him as his family has came in and taken everything. The one thing I cherished was an ipod I had bought him for his birthday. We listened to it every night before bed. We both loved music and had so much in common but that too has been taken from me. I think you are just coping in your own way and to me it seems normal. I too want to be close to him and sleep with his pillow every night and a pair of shorts he always used to wear. People keep telling me that things will get better with time, but at this point it seems impossible. Luckily I have my family to keep me going, but even that sometimes doesn't feel like its enough. One of the last text messages I got from him before he died was that he couldn't wait to see me...and then he never came home and I never saw him alive again. Sometimes I don't think people understand how bad the pain is dealing with this kind of loss. I am glad to have found this message board to have a chance to talk to people who do understand. I am so sorry for your loss and I do hope people are right when they say times heals all wounds.

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