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lost my mum aged 20

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Old 08-26-2011, 01:46 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: london, england
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blueberry13 HB User
lost my mum aged 20

I recently lost my mum, last month aged 20. She passed away in her sleep suddenly aged 43. I don't have any sibblings and my parents were separated. I havn't seen my dad since I was 1 year old, and don't keep in contact. I work night shifts and lived with my mum and nan, I was the one to find my mum in the morning when I arrived home from work. Its been a month now and I think I'm coping ok I still get upset and cry some nights on my own but a part of me has told myself I have to deal with this because life goes on and I need to carry on sorting things out like rent, bills ect

Do things get better in time?

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Old 08-27-2011, 07:08 PM   #2
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dad1933 HB User
Re: lost my mum aged 20

I lost my dad almost 7 weeks ago now... it's still pretty painful and I have bad days and weeks, but they are finally getting fewer and fewer. I am older than your mom when she passed, my dad was 78. He suffered for years with COPD and then developed an agressive brain tumor. Things went very fast from them on and alot of it was a blurr. I know which is better, a sudden passing or watching someone literally disappear before your eyes. In either case, you aren't ready for it. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I have found alot of comfort in message boards, I hope you will continue searching for support. It must be hard not having siblings but rely on friends. There are a lot of people willing to help or even just to listen when you need an ear. Don't give up!!!

Old 08-28-2011, 12:03 AM   #3
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amyd HB Useramyd HB Useramyd HB Useramyd HB Useramyd HB Useramyd HB User
Re: lost my mum aged 20

My mother died when I was 15 yrs. old and I was 20 yrs old when my father died. I was the first to find both of them. I am now 56 and seldom think of them very much; however when I do, it's not terribly emotional.
YES, it does get better for sure, as time moves on, as does your own life.
YEAH, just remembering right now, it was pretty bad (perhaps the death of my best friend (who died on X-Mas Eve on her 16th birthday) followed by my mother death 6 months later had me fairly traumatized -- ya know, the old "abandoment issue".
You will eventually get over it, cause you just have to. Can totally sympathize with you. Sorry!

Old 09-12-2011, 02:00 AM   #4
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Hello321 HB User
Re: lost my mum aged 20

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad when I was 20 really suddenly and I remember when people were like it will get better in time it made me so mad because I thought how can it its not like hes gonna come back. Now it hasnt got better but looking at where I am now I am able to cope with it a lot more and it is MUCH easier. Good luck xx

Old 09-14-2011, 02:53 PM   #5
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Location: USA
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leonap HB User
Re: lost my mum aged 20

Blueberry,I am so very very very sorry for your loss..I am sure with time,and from life experiences,that the deep emotional pain eases up a little from losing.But I would find some ,if even alittle time,to get into some free counseling right now to help you cope with the grief and emptiness from a sudden loss of a loved one.Sudden loss is shocking,and you might be numb right now.Grief counseling is usually given out free in alot of areas.They might be able to help with the burden of lonliness,saddness and the empty feeling that we all experience with a loss.They might be able to give some insight,and help with coping skills in this trying time..But life will go on,things will brighten,you will grow from your experience..Sending you light and love..

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