It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Grief & Loss Message Board

Loss of daughter

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 01-24-2012, 07:07 PM   #1
dream catcher
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: juneau, ak usa
Posts: 11
dream catcher HB User
Loss of daughter

Coming up on six month anniversary of death of 36 year old daugther from rare brain disease (moyamoya) So how are you out there coping with your losses? I always considered myself a pretty well grounded person but find grief really has no pattern, no time line and changes from day to day. Some days the memories have a gentle tone to them and one can smile and move through it pretty well, but other times seems like I am back at square one thinking about the bad memories , last moments and dealing with the organ donation issue. I live in a very small community and haven't found a support group-I saw a counselor (I had previously seen for a personal stress issue) She saw me twice and then suggested that we "take a break" that she thought I was doing pretty well and could always call her again if I really thought I needed to talk. I cope by talking and some of the talking I need to do isn't fair to burden those around me with. I think it was disappointing to feel like the counselor wasn't too interested in my grief. I would welcome any comments someone may have. Dream Catcher

The following user gives a hug of support to dream catcher:
souriya123 (01-25-2012)
Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 01-24-2012, 10:32 PM   #2
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: hampshire england
Posts: 77
souriya123 HB Usersouriya123 HB Usersouriya123 HB User
Re: Loss of daughter

hi,its not that different people deal with grief differently,i have lost people close to me ,grandparents,a parent,and gone through the grief process ok but two years ago i lost my 35 year old daughter and im still not able to move on nothing seems to help perhaps in time that may change

Last edited by souriya123; 01-26-2012 at 10:33 PM.

Old 03-30-2012, 10:22 PM   #3
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 64
hopefloats36 HB Userhopefloats36 HB User
Re: Loss of daughter

My condolances to you both. I know the sadness of loosing a child as well. My son was 26 and what happened 19 months ago when my world crashed in still feels like it happened yesterday. The heartbreak of our loss is still so unbearable at times. I didn't leave my house for several months after his tragic death. I'm getting through my days better now, it's the alone time minutes I seem to falter with. Those horrible thoughts that creep into my brain when I least expect them. I've tried to do everything to keep good memories alive in my heart...the smiling pictures, spending time with people who meant something to him, the memories of all the precious and joyful times, the knowing of how much we loved each other. As was stated, some days, some minutes are easier, while others are more challenging making the loss feel brand new to me. Sometimes I experience unsettling physical reactions. I expect that as time moves on, those will be less frequent.
I'm one who needs to talk about my son. Others cope by not talking. I understand that, but it's been very hard for me to deal with it. I'm trying to respect that we all cope differently, but in my mind I want to scream, "he lived....please let's not ignore that by never talking about him". I do get emotional and tearful sometimes when I'm talking about him and I see that makes some people uncomfortable. I do wish other people would suck it up more, and just let me express myself even if it makes me sad. It's all a necessary part of our grief process of loosing a child.
I went for counseling one on one for a while immediately after my son died. It was helpful considering I didn't feel I could talk to others easily. 7months after my son died I felt ready to attend a series of berevement sessions (small group) that were offered at a local cancer center for anyone who'd lost a loved one. It was a good experience for me. It offered each of us an opportunity to express our loss with others who were grieving their loss. Everyone was so compassionate and generous. The group leader gave us small lessons from week to week which were very helpful in getting us to explore our feelings as we told our stories. I would encourage looking into similar support groups that might be available in your area...especially if you feel the need to open up.
To Dream Catcher...regarding the experience you had with your counselor... perhaps she herself isn't comfortable or experienced in working with people who are grieving. Try to find someone who is willing to spend the time that you need exploring the depth of your loss. Try contacting an area hospital's social work service, or chaplain. Typically, they would be familiar with available resources for people dealing with grief from loosing loved ones.

Last edited by hopefloats36; 03-30-2012 at 10:27 PM.

Old 03-31-2012, 12:41 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
slenderella's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 1,000
slenderella HB Userslenderella HB Userslenderella HB Userslenderella HB Userslenderella HB Userslenderella HB Userslenderella HB Userslenderella HB Userslenderella HB Userslenderella HB Userslenderella HB User
Re: Loss of daughter

God bless all of you ladies. There is nothing worse than losing a child. My prayers are with you.


Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Really at a loss!!! Toffee1 Grief & Loss 7 09-06-2008 06:34 PM
Loss of a child. analisa4 Grief & Loss 43 03-29-2008 10:29 PM
I feel I've been disrespectful to a friend's loss Katiem1 Grief & Loss 8 10-06-2007 08:58 AM
sudden loss of my husband photofene Grief & Loss 13 07-15-2007 04:05 AM
loss of my 10 year old son jamiesmam Grief & Loss 24 11-11-2006 04:34 PM
Loss of my daughter Mmelissa Grief & Loss 4 06-10-2006 04:09 PM
the loss of my baby girl sunshine8392 Grief & Loss 7 12-30-2005 07:40 PM
Loss of my mother jsmyers8000 Grief & Loss 88 11-14-2005 04:16 AM
Loss of a parent poppydad0 Grief & Loss 15 12-01-2004 08:50 PM
Loss of a Best Friend... LoveMyWay71 Grief & Loss 5 09-28-2004 03:40 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:01 AM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!