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Loss of my Father

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Old 12-11-2012, 12:44 PM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: lindenhurst, ny
Posts: 7
rajeenah HB User
Loss of my Father

My Dad passed away on tuesday. It was very unexpected and sudden. My Dad was 64 and I am 28. I know when someone losses someone it is always horrible but the experience we went through was terrible.; I wont tell the whole story just let you know my dad went in the hospital for chest pains. They were doing a test on him and the doctor admited he messed up and one of his arteries ruptured.; That happened at 1pm we waited all day and they kept telling us different things. Like we have hope he is responsive and we are going to monitor him and wait. To telling us he is not going to make it. Back and forth all day. Til 11pm one nurse told us we had to do a dnr because he would not make it and we should say our goodbyes. It was so sad and emotional I was crying saying I wasnt ready to day goodbye. The doctor had to hold me and tell me to let my heart out tell my dad how I felt. I wake up today still so sad. I can't believe this is my life now all i can think about it that day my Dad died and the future with out him. I know my Dad was not perfect but he was a really good guy. He raised my sister who was my moms child from a previous marraige and he also helped raise my nephew who is 11 because my sister is not capable. I am so sad that my nephew who spend so much time with my dad because they lived together and my dad was retired so he was with him all day. I just dont want my nephew to forget him. I know everyone will lose their parents at some time I just never thought I would only be 28. I wanted to do so much more, get married have kids and now he wont be here for any of that. I'm just not ready and don't know how to cope. How do I get back to a semi normal routine but also not forget my dad?

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Old 12-11-2012, 12:52 PM   #2
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Re: Loss of my Father

rajeena I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad, and so unexpectedly. I lost my dad 12 years ago, and I was 41 at the time, and it doesn't matter how old you hurts to lose your dad, at any age. One thing that helped me was to make a list, actually write down memories of my dad. It sounds goofy but I didn't want to forget either. They were just random things like how he taught me to ride a bike without training wheels, how he taught me to bowl and keep score, and the pecan roll we would get after bowling every sunday. Shooting marbles, walking the dog together, etc. How he cheered me on when I took ice skating lessons and he would be by the side of the ring, saying "shoot the duck", one of the moves I was practicing at the time. The more things I wrote down, the more I would remember.....stuff that I had forgotten. Tears were streaming as I did it, but it felt good....and it's something we just have to do.....cry, let it out, and remember the good things. I'm so sorry again for your loss.

Old 12-12-2012, 07:43 AM   #3
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1
tayers HB User
Re: Loss of my Father

Hey not much to say. I just lost my mom last night we were very close it was unexpected also just need someone that knows how i feel to talk too. I'm sorry big time i feel your pain.

Old 12-14-2012, 06:31 AM   #4
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: lindenhurst, ny
Posts: 7
rajeenah HB User
Re: Loss of my Father

Hey Tayers I am very sorry for your loss as well. What happened with your mom? Maybe talking to each other about it can help.

Old 01-26-2013, 02:02 PM   #5
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 19
jennifer0023 HB User
Re: Loss of my Father

I am so sorry. I almost lost my father due to the flu that went around in December (he's 70) I don't think anyone, at any age, is prepared to lose their father. I don't have any family except my dad and mom. I'm in my 30's and I can't imagine a day without seeing my mom/dad. I wish you grace and time...

Old 01-27-2013, 07:49 PM   #6
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: duffield, va
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karmil1 HB User
Re: Loss of my Father

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother 6 months ago and it is still hard to deal with. I don't think it is something that we will ever get over, but we must move on. I don't cry as much when I talk about her now, but I do still on occasion cry for her. She was my best friend and we did everything together. She was the best mother in the world. I am working on a cookbook with her recipes and I also put together several photo albums on that my brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews could buy if they wanted them. It never goes away and a certain phrase, place, smell, or person may make you think of them. The other day I saw someone that looked like my mom from a distance and for an instant I thought it was her until I rememebered that it couldn't be her. It is a daily thing dealing with the grief. It is understandable as our mother and father should be the most important people in our lives. I still talk to my mom because I believe that she comes to see me. I have a picture with a huge orb taken at a family reunion 2 months after my mom passed. I know that was her checking in on us. I will pray for you and your family.

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