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Jestuck 08-20-2013 01:03 PM

My mom committed suicide
My mom chose to take her own life 2 weeks ago. Not only is this pain inside almost unbearable most of the time I am also not able to sleep. I've had one full night of sleep in 2 weeks and a couple hours here and there. I've been to a doctor and was given ambien but even when he tried upping my dose it still isn't working. I don't know what to do. I loved my mom because she was my mom and i miss her beyond belief but my entire life she had been a manic depressive opiate pill addict. I know I need to sleep but I'm having a hard time even wanting to swallow any kind of pill or call and tell them it's not working. I don't want to get addicted to anything but I need sleep.

sahmx2 08-20-2013 05:41 PM

Re: My mom committed suicide
My father had an heroin addition... and although we're not entirely sure what took him from this world, everyone is pushing towards an overdose... even though I personally think there was some foul play, it doesn't make his loss any easier...
I've been having a hard time too with taking any medication... the first day, my mother gave me something to sleep, and I have 2 children, so I knew I had to do something or they might suffer from a result of my grief... I went to m doctor and he prescirbed me Xanax, which I only learned recently is another powerful addictive drug, so it makes me feel guilty and just plain terrible when I even think of taking one... but you need to sleep, and remember, you're not looking to have fun with these prescriptions, you're using them the way you're suppose to, so don't feel guilty dear if you need to take one here or there... because whatever the reason was for your mother to do what she did, it is not your fault. I know those words might provide little comfort and many probably have told you it already, but it is the truth and I pray you find some peace in all this...

Big hugs to you!

rosier 08-22-2013 04:45 PM

Re: My mom committed suicide
Jestuck, you need to go to grieve counseling to talk to someone about how you are feeling and dealing with this. You need help to be able to sleep and relax and deal with all of this. It is never easy when death comes in suicide. I have cousins who still live their loss of a brother from suicide. The pain will always be there. But getting help to go on is a great idea. Please consider getting help to deal with the loss and pain. You hang in there. Hugs for today.

karlee10 08-22-2013 09:58 PM

Re: My mom committed suicide
Hi. I'm very sorry for what you're going through. Years ago my 4 week old baby son died of SIDS and even though these are 2 very different things, we both can relate to being overwhelmed and devestated I bet. I wish I'd gotten help from a professional sooner, but, right away I turned to alcohol to "numb" my pain. I couldn't handle this on my own and there's absolutely no shame in asking for help at all! Please see a Dr. about this, even if you later regret it and don't follow through. Just give it a chance. Listen to the Dr. Do as he or she recommends and give yourself a chance to get decent sleep so you can begin to heal. Without proper sleep, you can't even think straight. I'm proud of you for reaching out! Good for you

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