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    Old 09-23-2013, 12:41 PM   #1
    Julia M
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    Need help dealing with brother's suicide

    My brother decided on March 2, 2013 to end his life. He shot himself in the head in front of my mother, on her front porch. I have been trying to helpl my mother deal with her loss and have not been able to deal with my own grief. I was on the phone with her when they were arguing over the gun, up until the gun went off, so I heard it all. I had to deal with the men who cleaned up the blood in her living room since it seeped under the door and onto her floor. I helped with the funeral arrangements and had his memorial at my house.

    I am still unsure why he chose to do this. He had walked off his job and his girlfriend had left him. She had been cheating on him while he was at work. Anyway, his daughters don't want to discuss it, my mom can't stop crying and I am trying to keep this family together while holding down a fulltime job.

    Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with my loss and grief before I go nuts?

     
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    Old 09-23-2013, 01:00 PM   #2
    eirelassey
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    Re: Need help dealing with brother's suicide

    So sorry for your tragedy. One can never know what goes on in someone else's mind when they take their own life. Many times it is just that the person is not in their right mind. Whether it is a chemical or hormonal imbalance along with life circumstances that puts a person over the edge.
    My advice is for you to take care of you first then help others! You will never know the reason why. I do believe that this earth plane is difficult for sensitive people.
    I hope you heal yourself.

     
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    Old 09-23-2013, 01:58 PM   #3
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    Re: Need help dealing with brother's suicide

    Thank you for your kind words. I think this world was too much for him. My father used to beat us too hard with a belt, when we were kids, especially my brother. He was always jumpy and stressed and probably had social anxiety. I know I suffer from anxiety too, but I try to hide it. I hope with time, my family can come to terms with why he did it. I hope he knows that no matter what, we love him.

     
    Old 09-23-2013, 02:19 PM   #4
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    Re: Need help dealing with brother's suicide

    I am so very sorry for your loss......your brother is out of whatever emotional pain he was in, but you are left to pick up the pieces. I'm glad you found Healthboards, I think also a local support group could be good for your whole family. I agree with the advice to take care of yourself. Don't be hard on yourself, you've been thru a lot.

     
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    Old 09-24-2013, 08:30 AM   #5
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    Re: Need help dealing with brother's suicide

    Do you know who I could contact to find a local support group? I cannot really afford therapy. Could the crisis center direct me maybe on where I could find one?

     
    Old 09-24-2013, 09:50 AM   #6
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    Re: Need help dealing with brother's suicide

    a crisis center may be able to steer you in the right direction.
    Hospitals usually offer support groups also, and maybe even the funeral director could refer you somewhere.......
    Support groups are usually free, I don't ever recall hearing of any that make you pay.
    I'm sorry again.

     
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