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canada3789 01-03-2016 08:42 AM

Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
Hi everyone,

I will share with you all my tragic story. I believe this is my cue to leave this planet. I never ever thought I would be in this position to think such things. Read on...

I have been in a mostly faithful committed, loving relationship with the man of my dreams for 4 years. I am madly in love, he is too. We planned on getting engaged this upcoming summer 2016, and starting our life together. I was a virgin when I met him. I never slept with anyone other than him.... until 2 weeks ago. I made the worst decision of my life. I made a choice that would change my life for the worst.

Background: I am an attractive female, and very modest. I really never like to put myself out there for anyone to see, and I have very high values and morals.

For the month of December, things between me and my man fell rocky, and we sort of took a break so to speak. Times like this happen, I won't complain. I started seeing this one guy in the start of December. He was very very attractive, ambitious. Did I mention attractive? I never really met someone like him. He seemed to show genuine interest in me which I liked. After the 4th date, we slept together. We had a lot to drink at a party..... this is not me....... I keep asking myself how this happened.... it was his looks that lured me in.. We had unprotected sex. He finished inside me and I fell asleep with it.... oh my lord....... oh my god...... I am sorry I am shaking as I am writing this.

Next few days go by and I just felt sore. I assumed it was from the rough sex... it was really rough and intense. I definitely tore inside. We had the sex on Tuesday night/ Wednesday early morning around 2 am. So lets say late late Tuesday night. By Saturday I started to feel some itchiness down there, not too much though. By Sunday morning, I could feel significant discomfort. I sort of knew at that point that I must have caught something from him, some sort of STI. But I never thought it could be herpes.. never. I told myself I would go to the clinic on Monday (next day). So the pain was very bad Monday... hard to urinate, pain was getting worse. Left work and waited for 8 hours at the emergency since all clinics were closed (it was a stat holiday). They gave me meds, etc. Did a pap test or whatever its called with swabs. One thing I don't understand is how she could have missed the sores/ blisters??? I mean I didnt know I had them... and I don't think I did... but how could she miss that if I did? How could I have pain without the blisters?

I went home, resting assured that It would clear up soon. Next day was still pretty bad. I wasn't convinced. I went to a local STI clinic and got myself checked out. Laying on that table, legs spread apart. She took one look at me and told me herpes. I swallowed my throat. I couldn't breathe from a moment. I remember saying "what??" in distress. She talked me through everything, gave me meds, and said she would send my test out and contact me when she received the results.

That day I went back to work a different person. I viewed everything differently.

Keep in mind this was last Tuesday. It is now Sunday I am writing this. I have been on Valtrex since tuesday and have no pain, however still have a few of those white things.... only a few. Its not gross looking or anything..

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to tell my boyfriend. We are back together. He gave me flowers a few days ago. I can't hold this in.

I feel dirty. I feel used. I feel undesirable. I feel cursed. I feel so disgusting. I wish to God I could go back in time and say no. I would pay and give anything away to reverse this. But I can't. Theres no cure. Its for life. I ruined myself.
I don't know what my boyfriend will think But i will tell him on Tuesday.

I just want to tell you guys, be lucky if you have anything but herpes. The guy I slept with apparently had no symptoms. Clearly during that particular moment the virus was "shedding". And the virus sheds 10% of the time. I guess I was in that unlucky 10%...

I just want to tell you all that my life is indeed ruined. I feel as if I am writing a death note.

I do not feel the same woman. I made a grave mistake. Nobody will love someone with herpes. You are infected, you are marked. marked for life.

I cried my eyes out this morning. I want to die. I can't afford this life.

I wanted a beautiful marriage with my man. I wanted children. And while this is all possible, I am infested with this virus and cannot contain myself. I feel like my body was stolen. My identity was taken from me. My entire beauty was taken. I have nothing left.

To all of you out there, be careful. This might be the last chapter of my life.

I have been praying to god endlessly. I can't stop. But I feel hopeless. I know the tests will be positive. What else can this be?

Herpes ruined my life. I never knew what this disease was. I was never sexually active outside my relationship and was unaware of dangers. It took my soul away. I have nothing left. NOTHING.

Luvmy2 01-03-2016 09:58 AM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
I can only tell you this. I experienced a very similar story with the same outcome 12 years ago. To boot a single mom with a young child. I have been with the most amazing man for 5 years who loves me no matter what I came with. We later had a baby together and I was diagnosed with cancer last year. He has stood by my side whatever life throws us. Your ex whom might be back in your life will love you the same. If he is the man you think he is. No one is perfect it took me many years to figure this out. And the statistics are 1 in every 4 go through this aweful virus. Best of luck to you and know you are not alone

canada3789 01-03-2016 01:49 PM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
Thank you.

I have a question. When I tell him that I am HSV2 positive, he basically has to accept accquiring the virus from me?

I dont know how else to have a fulfilling sex life with your marriage partner if you always have to wear a condom.

Did your husband/ man gotten it from you?


yayagirl 01-03-2016 03:37 PM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
Dearest canada,

I am so sorry you are in this scary and confusing situation. But your story is no cue to hurry & do anything drastic for any reason.

Did you ever even get the test results? Maybe you do have herpes. But don't assume anything. The medical profession is often wrong. And, seldom do they present any facts along with pronouncing a premature diagnosis, and even less often will they apologize when they were wrong.

You need to get facts for yourself, first. Your life is not at all ruined unless you ruin it by reacting. Please do due diligence and research the facts for yourself before you discuss herpes.

Herpes is as ordinary and as common as a cold or flu virus. No one can prove by an outbreak when or how they acquired the herpes virus. Kissing even a child with cold sores inside the mouth is a source of acquiring herpes. Did you know this?

Don't make yourself go crazy by playing the guessing game. The virus can be dormant in the body for many years without any outbreak. Herpes I and Herpes II is herpes, just having different locations. Kissing or having oral sex with someone with an open cold sore are common sources of herpes.

Yes, MAYBE you did contract herpes from that one encounter, but there is no reason to assume you got herpes from it. It is just as likely that you, OR your boyfriend carried the virus for years and that stress and guilty feelings lowered your immune system causing the outbreak to occur when it did. It's not easy dealing with the outbreak, but it is not possible to prove where or when anyone first got the virus. It even may have been acquired from him.

A guilty conscience complicates things for you emotionally. You are in a hard position. Honesty is the best thing, but make sure you have all the facts straight before you deal with the herpes issue.

Please don't assume why or when you got the outbreak because that is just not truly possible to know. I hope this helps.


canada3789 01-03-2016 03:49 PM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
Thank you for your informative answer.

I am least bit concerned with my own health. I can bear with it for life. What concerns me is if my boyfriend will have different thoughts of me. This is what is difficult. I feel like I wont be able to give him what i want to give him in the future.

I have a question though. Basically if I consider being with someone (aka my boyfriend) for life.. and we will be sexually active.... during marriage.. I can expect that he will contract it right? I understand that he might never even get symptoms/ etc, but it is to be expected correct?

I dont know how else to live on the edge, always wondering if he will get it or not. It is to be expected... right? I know there no real harm in it.

I just need someone to talk to. I really am hurt from the inside and still cant live this reality.

My current status: checked this morning on my condition down there. I have no pain at all, perfectly normal. But have a few of those white looking marks (maybe around 4 total.) all inside the labia area. Is this the final stage of healing? They dont seem to be scabbing.. not sure. But theres no pain. Like I said, I was "told" I look as though I have herpes on last Tuesday (of this week). Started Valtrex immediately. And the pain went away almost completely by Wednesday evening/ Thursday morning. Is it really that quick?

Thank you for your help, I really need someone to talk to..

canada3789 01-03-2016 03:52 PM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
Note: I should get the results either tomorrow or Tuesday. The lady took a swab test of my lesions.

I will not tell my boyfriend anything until I get the results.

yayagirl 01-03-2016 05:57 PM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
Hi dear,

No it is not a foregone conclusion that he will get a lesion. Just as we cannot predict how long we will live, life is uncertain at best. It's the same for all of us. It isn't what trial we get but how we handle it that makes the most difference.

You're welcome. It has to be really scary to have your relationship tried like this before even married. Not that it makes it feel better at all, if this man fails to stand by you now, he isn't who you hoped he is. It would be more devastating if you got married, then a lesion happened out of the blue like it did to me and he refused to stand by you. That fact doesn't make it feel better. I understand that.

I am glad to share this with you. I hope you do some of your own research on the subject also, before telling your boyfriend. Since that nurse/doctor leaped to conclusions about a diagnosis I think I would want to see the results myself, so I would ask for a copy of the results.

Some people have very harsh lesions that don't clear up easily, some have no pain, some have awful pain. Every case is different, and every outbreak can be different. IMO that is based on how physically and mentally healthy we are at the time of a breakout. I take B 100 vitamins for physical & emotional stress.

If after you learn all you can abt. this, if you do get a positive diagnosis, then yes you want to tell your boyfriend, and whoever else you had relations with if possible. It isn't predictable how your boyfriend will respond. It is indeed a trial that will tell what he is made of. Your boyfriend's love and respect may soon get tested.

You seem like a woman of integrity and courage. I say be true to who you are. You will get through this. Let me know what you find out and how you are doing.


canada3789 01-03-2016 07:59 PM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
You are very helpful I will keep you updated on what happens.

I just bought L-Lysine today as well as vitamin D for my immune system. Hopefully this will help with recurrences. I will know in a few days of my test results.

Thank you again for your help, it helps me emotionally. I have times of high and low. But I know this is because I havent told my boyfriend.

Thank you

Mabaan 01-04-2016 07:32 PM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
Wait until your tests come back and then you can see where you will go from there. I'm sure there are support groups and doctors will help you with information in order to live a normal life. If you have herpes be thankful that it isn't Aids. That would be a whole different ballgame. Millions of people live very normal lives with herpes. If your boyfriend is not receptive to your diagnosis, don't do anything crazy over a man. There will be someone for you to share your life with. Someone who will be understanding and not judgmental. Are you sure that you didn't get it from your boyfriend - how long does it take for sores to appear after you have been infected. I think you have many questions to get answers to and much information to learn before you can see things clearly. Stop beating yourself up because you slept with another man -- half the planet has done that. Nothing is worth losing your life over. I think you are where you are supposed to be in life and it will be revealed to you when the time is right. I am no religious lunatic but I will pray for you. Everyone, yes everyone makes mistakes in life. You are harder on yourself than anyone else would be -- your own worst enemy. Be you own friend and look after yourself. If you do have herpes find out what you have to do the take care of yourself. If your boyfriend leaves you, you weren't meant to be with him and there is something better waiting for you. This is all new. I guarantee that once you accept the verdict and get used to it your life will be better This does not make you a bad person, just a human being who made a mistake like the rest of us. I wish you all the best. Hang in there and I send you a big hug.

yayagirl 01-05-2016 12:17 PM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
Hey girl, let us know what you found out. We are here for you!

canada3789 01-05-2016 05:47 PM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
I found out today.... positive.

I kind of built myself up expecting it but i thought there was a possibility it was negative.... When she said the words i blanked out.

I drove home in tears. It all came back. The fear, the loss of self.

I feel healthy and all but I dont feel like myself.

When I look in the mirror I dont know how that could be me.

I dont know what to do. Havent told my boyfriend. Will have to tell him very soon.

I ..... I dont know.... I keep fighting back my tears right now.

canada3789 01-05-2016 05:52 PM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
I do not know how to tell him.

Also, I still cannot come to terms with how this could have happened.

I have never ever slept with anyone else other than my boyfriend. And I am 22.

Why this one person??? why? What about him??

Ahhh I just do not feel good right now... i feel very bad..... its sinking in.

yayagirl 01-06-2016 12:00 AM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
Dearest canada,

Yes that is indeed crappy news to get!!! You are being completely normal.

Everything about you and your relationship with your boyfriend is being tested. Just let out how you feel, write it all down or scream it. Whatever you need to do. You will get through this.

You will learn how to live with this annoyance. You will rise up, no matter what results when you tell him or the other guy. The truth is you CANNOT know when or where you got it.

What will happen is you will learn who really does love you.

Please re-read the encouraging words we have given to you, again and again.

Love and prayers,

Mare1219 03-04-2016 09:14 AM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
MY Dear, Sweet, Young Girl:
PLEASE do not despair. I was infected with this horrid virus at age 21 by a rapist. I, too, thought my life was over and no man would ever want me. That was 28 years and many long term, committed, loving relationships ago. None of my partners in the last 21 years, including my husband of 11 years, has contract he preps from me. It is NOT a foregone conclusion that your be will. I have many friends (mostly female, 1 male) who have it and have been married for up to 20 years without transmitting it to a partner. Whoever you are with must accept the possibility it will happen, but I tell you I have had unprotected sex with long term partners probably thousands of times and not transmitted it. If a man truly loves you, he will not judge you for this. On the contrary, I now feel that the silver lining to having herpes is that it weeds out the men that are narrow minded, judge mental, jerks. Given that I, too, got herpes at the young age of 21 I have had many long term relationships. I would says perhaps 5-10% of men will reject you for this...the rest are loving, compassionate partners who will not reject you because of a silly virus. Please feel free to ask any questions you may have. The L Lysine and Vit. D are a good start to bolstering your immune system. Also, avoid alcohol and coffee if at all possible or at least during an outbreak. My mine system keeps outbreaks to a minimum...perhaps once every 2 years and outbreaks are minor compared to how they were initially. Again, please do not are stronger than you think you are and you will survive!

Chariisma 07-24-2016 04:28 PM

Re: Hsv2 positive ... Read my story.
I'm so sorry this happened to you! Very similar story happened to me, I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years.. And we were shaky recently so I allowed myself to be seduced by a man I knew would be trouble. I didn't show any symptoms of anything, but my results came back positive for HSV 2! And the doctor told me I may of already had it.. This all just happened within the month. And I recently rekindled my relationship with my boyfriend. And we've had sex since. 1 with a condom, 1 without. We normally don't use protection.. So that one time was strange to me.. And for me to ask him to again, I thought would make him question me.. I've never had an outbreak. I don't know how to tell him.. Did you tell your guy?

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