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  • First Herpes Breakout Hell

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    Old 12-23-2016, 07:57 PM   #1
    blacksoul
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    First Herpes Breakout Hell

    So, I have turned to the internet for information and support through out the last 2 weeks, in which have practically been hell since learning that I am having my first herpes 1 out break out.. DOWN THERE. Yes... it apparently can happen that way. I had no idea that this was even an option in life. I have heard about herpes, and cold sores, and genital sores. But I had NO idea that this would ever affect me in the life that I live, in the way that it has. My emotional and physical state has drastically declined in the last 2 weeks.

    I started a new relationship in the beginning of December. Everything was great! We had chemistry, so much fun together, and I felt like he was Mr. Right! We did the deed (and oral), and about 1 week later I felt some very strange sensations down below that I had not ever had before. It started with itching, tingling, burning and just downright did not feel good. This was on a Saturday, and by Monday morning I had full blown broken out into bumps and sores all over my vaginal area (and anal area). Everything was red and swollen, I had flu like symptoms, fever, vomiting, and my groin was sore. Then I freaked the heck out and immediately ran down to my doctor for her to tell me that I was definitely having a herpes outbreak. WHAT?! How can this be? Within 1 week she said is normal to have the first outbreak within contracting the virus...it is common and she knew from just looking at how bad it was. I took the blood test, and the sore culture swab as well. I left that doctors office that day full of embarrassment, shame, disappointment, regret. I had no idea what to do, she had prescribed me the Acyclovir and Codeine and told me my results would be back in a few days, and maybe the drugs would start working in a few days. I was desperate. I thought the acyclovir was going to help immediately. It did not.

    Come Friday, I was a complete hot mess. I had not left the house since Monday, and all I could do is drink alcohol, take pain pills and, and put an ice pack on my crotch. The sores had only opened up and become painful blisters that prevented me from EVER going to the bathroom. Peeing was literally the WORST thing in the world, I could barely get it out, it felt like a horrible UTI, and when it did come out it was like acid on an open wound. I literally felt like I had paper cuts all over my privates, and there was lime juice being poured on them... At all times! Everything was still extremely swollen, accompanied by a nasty vaginal discharge. I called into work sick for over a week, because I could not walk or sit comfortably at all. I was a sad, miserable drunk. I had told the new man about this ordeal and he was extremely upset, sad, sorry, had no idea he had this virus and could pass it on. He had never had any symptoms or clue that he had herpes. My test results came back positive Herpes 1 on the cultures. My blood test came back negative for Herpes 1 or 2, which my doctor explained that it had just come on so quickly that it had not shown up yet it my blood. Which was conclusive that new boyfriend had definitely given me the herpes, and most likely through oral sex. I had NEVER been exposed to the virus before, which was why I was having this terrible first outbreak ordeal. Apparently, the first outbreak is the worst, and this will likely not ever be as bad again. He did too get tested and came back positive for Herpes 1. About 6 days in, I was so desperate for any cure, I read about tea tree oil and putting a dab on the sores. It did help within hours I feel like they started to dry over and scab up.

    It as been 12 days now since I first found out and it has gotten a bit better. I can now walk, go to work, take care of my child, get through the day without popping pain pills and drinking 3 bottles of wine. But it still hurts. The sores are not gone, it is itchy and uncomfortable, and I am pretty sure a new crop has popped up around my anal hole...again. Whatever is leftover from last time is scabby, itchy, and horrible as well. I am taking the medication like its my job and I am afraid to STOP taking it ever because I never want to go through this again. I go through a few hours of being okay and thinking I am feeling better, and then I go through times of being alone, angry, ****** off and utterly depressed I had to go through this at the beginning of a new relationship. He is here for me and been very supportive and understanding but its like OMG had I known?? My life is forever changed and I don't know when I'm ever going to feel OK for anyone to touch me down there. I feel tainted and dirty. I feel hopeless and alone (even though I know I have his support there is nothing he can say to make it better). I just want to feel normal again, I just don't want to live my life in fear about the next outbreak. I don't know how much longer this will last or how much I can take emotionally or physically. I have lost 25 lbs in 2 weeks due to stress and physically not being able to do anything. My job is suffering, my mental health is in shambles, and lord knows what's going on down below. Its terrible. I'm can't tell my friends or family due to shame. I just do not know what to do. Please help. Any advice or insight is appreciated.

     
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    Old 12-28-2016, 08:20 AM   #2
    lenvegas
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    Re: First Herpes Breakout Hell

    Hi, I had herpes and took the amino acid L Lysine to prevent any reoccurance and it worked quite well. It can be purchased at any health food store or online. You could research it and see if it is right for you...

     
    Old 12-29-2016, 02:32 AM   #3
    Splendead
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    Re: First Herpes Breakout Hell

    I know EXACTLY how you feel. Spent most of the last 2 weeks crying in the toilet. The raging open sores have now crusted into a hot mess. And today, I started my period.

    I told my partner, not sure who else to tell but I feel like it will help to talk about it. Need to shake off this feeling of geing gross and unlovable. SO many people have herpes, many will never even realise because symptoms can be so mild.

    Tea tree oil has been a lifesaver. A few drops in a cool bath or mixed with some coconut oil to soothe the skin. Drink lots of water. Rest. Pray.

     
    Old 01-02-2017, 06:53 PM   #4
    blacksoul
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    Re: First Herpes Breakout Hell

    thank you for responding and for your advice. I'm so afraid to ever stop taking the acyclovir to avoid this from ever happening in the future. I'm still riddled with questions although, my doctor says to use protection and all that in the future, but wth hsv 1 am I still going to have outbreaks downthere? No one seems to have the answer...

     
    Old 01-02-2017, 06:57 PM   #5
    blacksoul
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    Re: First Herpes Breakout Hell

    Does your partner have it? Or ever had any symptoms? How long have you been together?

     
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