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  • Herpes ruining my life!!

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    Old 07-18-2018, 12:17 PM   #1
    sam2019
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    Herpes ruining my life!!

    Hi everyone,
    Iím a 32 year male and I have been living with genital herpes for 2 years now. About few years ago I started getting a horrible pain on my legs and thighs, and this was followed by a horrible episode of sores all over my penis. I was one the people that got cold sores all the time. I always hated cold sores and got them frequently. Although my immune system is not that bad. I donít get sick all the time and eat healthy, but still get the cold sores. I have been in a relationship for about 4 years with the same women. We have unprotected sex all the time. I believe I got genital herpes from her, and she didnít know she had it. We have had sex while I had sores and she never had any symptoms what so ever. Me on the other hand, I am walking herpes.
    This has ruined my life in many ways. I was never a promiscuous person and have had se with only 3 girls all my life. I was always cautious. I had my current girlfriend get tested before we had sex, and she came back clean. Later I found out that they donít test for herpes. I also realized that herpes doesnít show up in everyone. Why donít they teach us this stuff in school?
    My problem is that I get frequent outbreaks. Very frequent. If I donít get out breaks, I have pain all the time. I have been to many doctors and I feel like Iím dealing with a bunch of idiots. I told my doctor that I have herpes and he kept dismissing me. I showed him my sores and he finally decided to prescribe some Valacyclovir 1mg.

    I had sore all over my penis it was horrifying. I went to the doctor and he even said that he hasnít seen herpes so severe. I started taking the Valacyclovir and I started getting horrible pain in my abdominal area. It also made me feel weird. I didnít like It what so ever.

    Iím still getting sore but not as severe. I have been eating healthy and exercising, doing all the things that can keep the herpes away but I have pain everyday.

    Everyone keeps saying that herpes is not a big deal, but it has really ruined my life and confidence. As a man seeing sores on my penis just destroys me. I also get a sharp pain in my penis. Makes sex painful. When I pee sometime I get this sharp pain. My testicles are constantly moving and I feel them. My anus keeps throbbing when I sit down and I have pain around my legs. I have told this to my doctors and they tell me its not herpes, but never had any of this prior to the herpes.

    I feel like my love life is over. Iím not happy with my current girlfriend and I cant leave her because I feel like no one is going to want to be with me. Everyone keeps saying that herpes is not a big deal, because most donít have symptoms and donít even get sores. If you get sores and have symptoms, this thing can really ruin your life.

     
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    Old 07-18-2018, 05:21 PM   #2
    yayagirl
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    Re: Herpes ruining my life!!

    Dear sam,

    There is no reason whatsoever to think you got herpes came from your current woman. That she didn't know she had it is no more proof that it first came from her as it is proof that it her outbreaks first came from you.

    The numbers I and II only denote location, and is not a separate or different virus. Cold sores on lips or in mouth are named Herpes I but it is the same exact virus. The virus you have can be from anyone that kissed you since you were born. The virus can remain dormant until you are weakened by drugs, alcohol, stress, or other illness. The virus multiplies on and in any moist part of the body. Where it first shows up means nothing unusual. That you get cold sores is evidence that you likely already had the herpes virus. My mate always had had cold sores in his mouth before we even met. I never had had oral cold sores before we both broke out with the type II sores.

    The herpes virus is spread even by unsuspecting people who kiss babies/children/anyone any age. Outbreak of sores occur only when our immune system is down.

    That you keep getting outbreaks that severe is more about not having a healthy, strong immune system, since no one can know how long you or your friend have been carriers of the virus. So, sir, that she stayed with you shows she is indeed your friend. She could as easily blamed you for her sores. Love life is over when we choose to stop loving.

    You can choose to take responsibility for your own sores that no one can prove was not spread by you to your girlfriend. One of these days she will learn that it very well may have been you that gave her virus. In fact, she might already know this information.

    Take care of your health and your herpes virus can go into remission. And stop blaming your girlfriend and stop stressing. Millions & millions of us have the virus and life goes on. The stress is definitely not going to make your health better.
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    Last edited by yayagirl; 07-18-2018 at 05:25 PM.

     
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    Old 07-18-2018, 07:12 PM   #3
    sam2019
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    Re: Herpes ruining my life!!

    First of all, i researched the heck out of herpes and I understand the difference between type I and type II. Second, my girlfriend does not get any sores. No symptoms what so ever. I only had herpes type 1 and was getting cold sores.
    After a year with my girlfriend I got type II. Who the hell gave it to me then ??
    we had sex after i got infected and she still has no symptoms of herpes what so ever. I know people that smoke/drink and live like crap and never got a cold sore although they have the virus. I personally think that it doesn't have anything to do with the immune system. Its kind of like food allergies, some people react to the virus. Thats why only 10% of those who do get type2 or type1 have any sores. Most people that carry both types of herpes don't even know it.
    I don't know how many guys my girlfriend has been with in the past. So anyone who catches a STD would have doubts.
    I am saying that it is ridiculous the society doesn't even understand herpes and it is not part of the STD panel. This is not fare to the 10% of the people who get frequent sores. What I'm saying that if you are part of the 10% that gets sores, it can really ruin your life.

     
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    Old 07-18-2018, 10:55 PM   #4
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    Re: Herpes ruining my life!!

    Here is a reliable Herpes resource, sam ~
    https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm

    There is as usual all sorts of opinions out there, but only the facts are facts.
    In the US, one out of five people have genital herpes, which means that over 50 million people in the US have it. Eight five percent don’t even know they have it. Herpes is the most commonly wide spread viral STD.

    It will help you deal with this reality to learn the rest of the facts about herpes. Genital herpes is spread by kissing and by oral sex with anyone that has even a partially healed oral herpes sore. People don't always recognize when they have cold sores, they are so used to them. It is sad that this virus is vilified more than other viruses, since any virus can be easily spread and cause a lot of misery. Various viral outbreaks happen all the time. If you get your immune system healthy and learn to deal with anxiety it is a known fact that you are way less likely to have outbreaks.

    No one should be vilified that they have it or got it, because it is impossible to know the original source of it. "Cold sores", rightly called herpes used to be thought of as just a painful nuisance rather than a serious contagious problem.

    It may be that your friend had never been exposed to the virus before being with you. Or she was exposed and developed an immunity. That happens sometimes. She still can end up having painful outbreaks from exposure to you. However, none of this has to ruin your life. It is a very common virus. If you clean it and apply the salve I mentioned, the pain eases and the sore heals rather quickly. I would not use any of the antiviral drugs, myself because of the serious side effects. I find that herpes has a short life when cared for as mentioned.
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    Last edited by Administrator; 07-19-2018 at 09:57 AM.

     
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    Old 07-19-2018, 02:34 AM   #5
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    Re: Herpes ruining my life!!

    Sam2019, go back to your doctor OR go find one with more sympathy, but get yourself back on an antiviral drug. When you have a case as severe as you describe, they can put you on an antiviral to both heal you and you can take it every night so that it helps prevent outbreaks.

    You said that taking acyclovir made you feel weird. It shouldn't...that is not a side effect of the drug. Maybe it was a combination of how sick you already were plus how stressed out you are that made you feel so sick? Talk to them about what you can try to take...and try again. Remember, stress and anxiety can bring on outbreaks...you need to get this under control so that your body can start to heal itself.

    You will never know who gave you the virus. You could have been a carrier since you were 18 years old.. only when you reached a certain level of antibodies did you start to breakout. Your GF may not be showing the virus but she could be a carrier...its impossible to know and there is no point worrying about it now. Right now, you need to get healed so you can move on with your life! Talk to a doctor about both getting healed (not rid of it, just healed) and how you can prevent future outbreaks. I know plenty of people who take drugs every night to prevent them and it works for the most part. You can get better! You need to make up your mind to talk to a doctor again. I am sorry you are going through this.
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