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    Old 03-19-2004, 05:57 PM   #1
    Lauren3249
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    I'm so scared. Please Help.

    I'm 19 yrs old and I just found out that my boyfriend and I have herpes. My doctor was quite ignorant on the subject. I kept going to his office every single month because my vagina was itching terribly (sorry if TMI). He just kept saying it was a yeast infection and would prescribe a pill or cream and be done with it. Nothing ever helped. He told me that I was having an allergic reaction to something. Then he told me it was all in my head. Anyway, after many many months of this itching, I started noticing little flesh colored bumps on my vagina. I went right back to the doc, he said it was nothing. I begged for him to do a blood test. Finally, he did. The results came back and he told me that I "probably" have herpes and prescribed Valtrex.

    So, I cry and get upset, but figure I can deal with it. I take the Valtrex and nothing happens with the bumps. They actually got a little worse. Well, I've lost my insurance now and have no way to see a doc or get another prescription. The bumps are still there. They don't hurt too bad, but look pretty nasty. And NOW... the back of my mouth (near the tonsils, but not on them) has two little white bumps on it. They hurt so bad, I don't even want to eat. It hurts to swallow. I know it is not strep (had that before). I am so concerned that it may be HSV esp since I'm believed to have HSV 1.

    I know I MUST be overreacting, but I hate myself now. I cry constantly and I am just so depressed. I need help. People I talk to about it say "Eew, you have a disease, you're dirty." Even my own family. I don't know what to do. My throat hurts, my vagina is nasty, and I just want to die. Please help me. I'm trying to find out as much about herpes as I can, but I just get even more scared. I hate the vocabulary (herpes, disease, no cure, painful, blah, blah, blah). I swear, I'm gonna give it a new name.

    Please, don't think bad of me. I just feel so lost and confused. Especially with no way to see a doc, I get even more scared. I'm thinking of taking L-Lysine pills. Heard they might help. Don't know, but I need something....

    Well, sorry for rambling. Anybody that would like to contribute... please do! I NEED someone to talk to that is not going to criticize or look down on me.

    Anything would be so appreciated.

    Last edited by moderator2; 03-20-2004 at 06:39 PM. Reason: Please carefully read, know and follow the Healthboards.com Policies and Guidelines. Click on FAQ at the top left of this page. Thank you!

     
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    Old 03-19-2004, 07:52 PM   #2
    serialnovelist
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    Re: I'm so scared. Please Help.

    Well the first advice i'd give you is to relax and try not to stress. I know it's difficult not to but it's for the best. Second thing i'll suggest since your insurance ran out and your previous doctor sounds like a total ignoramus, go ahead and check yourself into a COUNTY E.R. they'll do blood tests, they'll look at your throat, they'll do throat cultures they'll even swab the bumps for you to test for HSv 1 and 2. As soon as your released to go home find the place in the E.R. for getting on a county program so you don't have to pay your bill. County programs like Planned Parenthood will take care of you to just have to find out how to sign up for benefits. I have something called MIA that i signed up for at the county hospital and didn't have to pay for surgery i had later. When i found out and was diagnosed with Herpes the county urgent care put me on some kind of medi - cal/ planned parenthood thing and the card they gave me even paid for my valtrex prescriptions. If you do have Herpes it doesn't make you a bad person, or evil or anything else. take a look through the posts on these boards and you'll realize it's not so bad and there is a ton of useful information among these boards.

    Last edited by serialnovelist; 03-19-2004 at 07:52 PM.

     
    Old 03-20-2004, 03:13 AM   #3
    BurnedByAnAngel
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    Re: I'm so scared. Please Help.

    hey lauren, i know the feeling of being newly exposed since i just found out near the beginning of the year. Also im 21 so im about around your age range so i know THAT sucks too. in the beginning naturally its going to be difficult, probably everyone on this site went through the initial shock phaze where you panic and try to figure out what to do, and i personally had a few tear filled nights in the beginning when i tried to figure things out. my parents and what FEW friends i told have been fairly supportive though so that has helped me out. however if you're finding difficulty coping with it and finding people to relate to than this site is an EXCELLENT resource and everyone here is informative, kind, and out to help each other with this situation. there's no need to panic or feel down or think its the end of the world, you'll see as you read more and more post as well as gather information on your own (even stuff you dont want to know) but knowledge is power. you'll come to realize that it truely isnt the end of the world and life doesnt stop where herpes begins. Realize that you're not fighting this battle alone. good luck with everything and i hope that this board helps you...

    Last edited by moderator2; 03-20-2004 at 06:42 PM. Reason: Please carefully read, know and follow the Healthboards.com Policies and Guidelines. Click on FAQ at the top left of this page. Thank you!

     
    Old 03-20-2004, 11:45 AM   #4
    movingrightalong
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    Re: I'm so scared. Please Help.

    Hey Lauren,
    I know it's shocking. So many feelings go through your head about all of the future reprocussions about having this virus. It's not curable, it's contagious, it's painful, etc etc. Just have faith that these things you will deal with in time and you will be OK. For now, concentrate on yourself, getting your outbreak under control, if that is indeed what it is. Your doctor sounded kind of wishy-washy... what did he mean "probably" herpes. Was the test not conclusive? There are some great doctors out there, but there are some really lame ones as well and it sounds like your doc might fall into the latter category.
    You are not nasty or dirty. Your vagina is not nasty either. But it's really frustrating to feel like there's something invading your body and there's nothing you can do about it. Are you sure that the bumps are herpes? If they are flesh colored and they don't hurt, have you considered genital warts?
    Has your boyfriend ever had any symptoms? Has he been tested as well?
    I'd say to definitely take Serialnovelist's advice. Go to a clinic, now, with your symptoms so that they can take a good look at what's going on. Until you can get there, read around on this board. It will give you an idea about some of the concerns and questions that you can talk to your (new) doctor about. The best thing you can do is go there armed with information.
    Good luck and keep us posted on how things go.
    movingrightalong

     
    Old 03-20-2004, 02:10 PM   #5
    stayinstrong
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    Re: I'm so scared. Please Help.

    Hi Lauren,
    I was diagnosed with herpes when I was 20 and have been living with it for almost a year now. When you first find out you have it will be the hardest part of dealing with it. But then eventually the more you learn about it and come to terms with it and accept that you have it, life goes on and it is not as big of a deal as you thought it was going to be. But it may take some time to come to terms to accept it like that. The outbreaks are painful and irritating.....So you must keep stress to a minimum, cause that will cause out breaks.

    But I dont know if this really sounds like herpes, but more like warts. Herpes will start out looking like a blister break open into an open painful sore, and then scab over, heal and once it heals you wont beable to see that the sore was ever there. Also the herpes medicine should've worked. BUT HERE'S THE THING IF YOU DONT HAVE OPEN SORES THEN IT IS PROBBABLY NOT HERPES. IF THEY ARE "FLESH COLORED BUMPS" THAT SOUNDS LIKE WARTS. I don't know what to tell you about the spots on your throat though.

    But you should go to planned parent hood or a place in your community that will base their charges on your income that way you can get diagnosed and know what exactly it is that you have. The are medical services that are there to help you so you can afford it.

    But if you do have herpes they will break into sores, and if this has been going on for months and they have only remained bumps and never broke open it could be warts. So going to the doctor is going to be the only way to be positive on which it is you have.

    I know it is scarry, I was so scared when I had to go through it, and I was emabarrassed and all those other feelings and thoughts, but once being at the doctor is over there will be a sence of relief.

    Sorry for going on and on, but I hope that it helps you. Good Luck, and I hope you get to feeling better soon

     
    Old 03-21-2004, 12:22 AM   #6
    ihih
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    Re: I'm so scared. Please Help.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lauren3249
    I'm 19 yrs old and I just found out that my boyfriend and I have herpes. My doctor was quite ignorant on the subject. I kept going to his office every single month because my vagina was itching terribly (sorry if TMI). He just kept saying it was a yeast infection and would prescribe a pill or cream and be done with it. Nothing ever helped. He told me that I was having an allergic reaction to something. Then he told me it was all in my head. Anyway, after many many months of this itching, I started noticing little flesh colored bumps on my vagina. I went right back to the doc, he said it was nothing. I begged for him to do a blood test. Finally, he did. The results came back and he told me that I "probably" have herpes and prescribed Valtrex.

    So, I cry and get upset, but figure I can deal with it. I take the Valtrex and nothing happens with the bumps. They actually got a little worse. Well, I've lost my insurance now and have no way to see a doc or get another prescription. The bumps are still there. They don't hurt too bad, but look pretty nasty. And NOW... the back of my mouth (near the tonsils, but not on them) has two little white bumps on it. They hurt so bad, I don't even want to eat. It hurts to swallow. I know it is not strep (had that before). I am so concerned that it may be HSV esp since I'm believed to have HSV 1.

    I know I MUST be overreacting, but I hate myself now. I cry constantly and I am just so depressed. I need help. People I talk to about it say "Eew, you have a disease, you're dirty." Even my own family. I don't know what to do. My throat hurts, my vagina is nasty, and I just want to die. Please help me. I'm trying to find out as much about herpes as I can, but I just get even more scared. I hate the vocabulary (herpes, disease, no cure, painful, blah, blah, blah). I swear, I'm gonna give it a new name.

    Please, don't think bad of me. I just feel so lost and confused. Especially with no way to see a doc, I get even more scared. I'm thinking of taking L-Lysine pills. Heard they might help. Don't know, but I need something....

    Well, sorry for rambling. Anybody that would like to contribute... please do! I NEED someone to talk to that is not going to criticize or look down on me.

    Anything would be so appreciated.
    ok, first of all, i dont have insurance either right now, but i go to a family planning place that is free; most places have women doctor places like that, just call your local hospital and ask, and even if your local hospital does not have free women services, one near you will. so, your doctor sounds like an idiot, and you need to go to one of these places to see whats really going on. there is no such thing as you might have herpes, they should do a culture (which if you cant afford, u can make $5 monthly payments like i do) so u can know for sure. obviously im not a doctor, but it sounds like u had a wierd infection, which happens all the time, then u got stressed out, which causes other weird infections.
    also... this does not sound like herpes. i have herpes an so do many of my friends (this happens when you are like 30) and ur symptoms sound like something not as bad. please try to find a free family planning clinic near youand get tested for evrything. almost all stds are no big deal if caught in time, all u need are antibiotics, but if u let it go too long, then they will **** with ur reproductive system.
    so please get tested asap, even if u have 2 make payments, u will b fine after u find out whats wrong and get whatevr kind of antibiotics u need.
    also, i am wondering, u said u and ur boyfriend have herpes, was he tested?
    i dont know just get tested for real, and have results sent to a lab. and if u r negative, try to find a regular family doctor that will accept monthly payments, and see what else could be wrong. honestly, though, so much of this health **** is caused by stress, just please get tested, there are many places that can help you.
    good luck

     
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