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Old 03-12-2005, 03:11 PM   #1
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auguste HB User

I am certain this has been talked about at great length BUT..
I can't help it. I am pretty upset. I am separated and dating a guy for 10 months, not sleeping with anyone else, always wondered about him. he seems likea deceptive person, but we were crazy for one another--so I let my own intuition slide
so I got herpes 2, spent a long life of sex without any std's and now. I think it'll be fine after this initial outbreak, but I am so distrustful. is there anyway to get beyond it?
or should the aftermath just destroy everything/

look he swears he didn't know, had no outbreaks--he also was married a long time.. I see there is so much ambiguity about how we get this, it seems it's reallyt up to the individual to decide whether he or she is capable of going on with the person who shed it, no? and nothing more. honesty is so relative with herpes it seems,

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Old 03-14-2005, 04:40 AM   #2
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Re: Distrust

I am on the same side of the tracks as you. My ex-girlfriend gave it to me. At the time I was not interested in proving it was her....... I was in love and going to spend the rest of my life with her. She always said, how in love she was and blah, blah, blah, . Long story short she dumped me after a vacation and I decided to do some homework on who I had been with other than my ex-wife. I checked with the one girl, we have always been good friends. She said no questions asked she would go get a full spectrum of test including blood. I saw the results that leaves on person.
I have never confronted her with this information and probably never will. In the big picture it does not matter. I will never really know if she knew she had it or not. By some of things she did, I would bet my bottom dollar on it that she knew.
In the end you have to decide if you love him or not. I loved her so it did not matter to me when she was their. He wants to stay with you, I hope for longer than my ex did with me. It sounds like my ex and your man deserve each other. GOOD LUCK!

Old 03-14-2005, 03:20 PM   #3
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Re: Distrust

That happens, not everybody is honest. I think it's better to get somebody the honest way if you are after a committed relationship. I also think that some people might on purpose infect others, just like some HIV sufferers have done. Others might think it's no big deal, just a virus and it wont kill you anyway. Then you might get some who don't have what it takes to tell a partner as they fear losing them, they think if the non infected person gets it, then they will stay with them and not knock them back. Then you have people like my partner who has had this for so long, but rarely gets an ob, forgets he even has it and has limited knowledge on herpes, even though he carries it. He learnt an entire bunch of new stuff on herpes once i got infected. But the last thing anybody thinks of is to ask a prospective partner for proof they are 'safe'.

I was surprised when i got it and did go through some dark thoughts, but i can't change what has happened. The only way is forward, not dwelling on things i can't change and keeping my ob's to a minimum and helping others if i can in anyway.

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