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keepsgoin 12-08-2005 11:43 AM

What precautions when partners both have it?
This may be a dumb question but my BF and I both have herpes...I got it from him...What I was wondering is, if he has a lesion and I don't, can it cause an ob in me and vise versa?

GreenEggs 12-08-2005 12:50 PM

Re: What precautions when partners both have it?
When you say you both have 'herpes', do you mean both types, hsv1 and hsv2, or just genital herpes, which is normally hsv2? You both might want to get an IgG type specific test (eg, HerpeSelect) to know your complete hsv status.

If you both have both types, then there's really nothing to worry about, you can't reinfect one another. Once you have it you have it. Having a lesion while having sex won't cause an outbreak in the other person, but most people will still avoid sex during an outbreak, it's not too romantic. Friction from lack of lubrication might cause an outbreak.

keepsgoin 12-08-2005 01:12 PM

Re: What precautions when partners both have it?
I'm not 100% sure if he has both 1 and 2 and gave me just one or the other but he had a lesion genitally and I had a genital OB. He also has fever blisters but I have not gotten anything on my face at all so he may just have hsv 2 only. I have never in my life had a cold sore and I've been kissing him for almost a year without a cold sore outbreak. But I have all the symptoms of hsv 2(in the entire "boxer shorts" area as the manual says it). What I was really wondering is what you answered...could his outbreak cause me to outbreak and your answer is NO so that's what I wondered.

notsurewicf 12-21-2005 10:11 AM

Re: hello keepsgoin
I'm new to this and am not sure how to start my own thread but am intrested in contacting keepsgoin, because she seems to know a lot about the virus and I have some questions. The main question I have is neither of us had any known symptoms until my boyfriend recently got some sores on his penis,(we have been together for three years and I have only been with him in that time period he was with someone else about a year ago but since then he has been faithful.) the doctor told him that I must have the virus and not know it and then spread it to him. (the doctor said that he would have had to have slept with someone with the virus in the last thirty days)

booboo32 12-21-2005 07:33 PM

Re: What precautions when partners both have it?
hi im new to this only found out i have genital herpes 3 weeks ago.i had one mild ob and i went to the doc and got med went away in about 7 days.if you dont have a ob and you have oral sex can you get one like on your mouth.please wb and give me advice any advice will help.and also can some one tell me about the obreaks should i get more right away.tks :bouncing:

keepsgoin 12-22-2005 06:39 AM

Re: What precautions when partners both have it?
Hi newbies!!!!!! :wave: I'll help as much as I can. I'm just the kind of person that's going to find out everything there is to know about something when it affects me! There is so much info if you just do a search for stuff like...symptoms of herpes, similarities between hsv1 and hsv 2(called the truth about HSV-1 & HSV-2) there's a great article about that at one of the herpes com sights, then someone suggested to search for Terry (Terri) Warren's manual called The Herpes Manual (great read and easy to find searching). I quickly learned of all the symptoms by experiencing them and realizing that not everyone has to have much of a symptom to have it like my BF.

Notsure: From reading all I've read here and by searching, I've learned that you can have it for a long time without symptoms too! I don't agree with the doctor saying that he must have gotten it from you...he probably got it a year ago from that girl(my assumption). He CANNOT say that he got it thirty days ago... you know that you weren't with anyone else for three years and you don't have any symptoms...right! So now your BF is going to think that you are lying to him and have been messing around because that doctor is an idiot. I was with my BF for 9 months before any "noticable" signs of it came up. Then he had an OB again and just a couple days later, I got this full blown OB. But looking back I remember that I had a few bumps that I just brushed off as nothing. The very first time I was with my BF, he had a small sore on his penis that we just thought was nothing. Then about 9 months later, he had another sore and then just a couple days later I have the OB. Then, just a few days later, he got sores on his face from oral sex! Sheesh! It's been a nightmare but nothing that has happened to us is unheard of and has happened to others. I know that I wasn't with any one and a doctor can't tell me I gave it to him because I didn't!!!!! Have you had any itching or thought you had a yeast infection or just a little burning since he was with that other woman? Maybe a little bump you thought was from shaving? Signs can be very minor. Your BF may have had a sign right about his affair and didn't notice it because it was minor and unnoticable. Just the smallest of sores can be herpes...I know because that's all my BF gets! Let me just tell you this BFs EX more than likely has herpes(they were together 14 years having unprotected sex) but my BF had no idea he had it and I asked him if his EX had any sign of a sore or anything and he said "NO" he never saw a sore and she never said she has a sore...but he has told me on several different occasions that the EX was always drinking cranberry juice for bladder infections(she thought) and always getting yeast infections(she thought)...I think that these ARE her symptoms of herpes. Since I've had the OB and brought to light that he has had it for years without even knowing the symptoms...he has not told her that she more than likely has herpes so she's just going through life clueless and has probably given it to her BF.

I read these board pretty often so I will probably be here to answer whatever you want to know and I'll try to answer the best I can. This is just my opinion on this virus...I think that WAY more people have herpes than is even suspected and it's so common(1 in 4 have it). It concerns me greatly that people think nothing of fever blisters but act like having genital herpes is like leprosy. They aren't aware that having oral sex spreads cold sores (hsv1) to the genitals and gives genital herpes this scares me! If we would all stop being so afraid of the subject of sex, we would all be better off. We need to be educated on this virus because we really don't want to catch it. I know that some people think...OH well, it's not any big deal, it's just a little bump so what's the big deal having it? Well it is a big deal because they could give it to someone and they don't have a little bump, they have all the symptoms know to mankind and are sick for 2 months like me! If all herpes was was just a little wouldn't be any big deal to have. Blah blah blah...I'm just ranting now so I'll quit! :eek:

EDIT~Notsure: Something else I was thinking about...has to do with what doc said~If a person has an OB by thirty days(according to BF's doctor) and your BF got it from you...where's your "by thirty days" OB? I can't believe a doctor would say that! :confused: It's even possible that you don't even have herpes yet! It isn't a 100% guarantee that you have it just because your BF does! So I would use caution when your BF gets an OB to not touch it and don't have sex when there is an active sore and don't just assume "OH well, he has it so I must too!" :nono: Get tested to make sure that your do or don't have it.

use2bscared 12-30-2005 11:35 AM

Re: What precautions when partners both have it?
Hello, you are extremely knowledgeable about this. I was just recently tested and was positive for 2. I think my original ob was back in 1990. I went to a doctor who dismissed the sore. I had another ob when I became pregant with my son in 1993. I dismissed that ob due to moisture in the summer and panty line irritation. I even talked to other women about sores down there, nothing to worry about. I just had my third ob in 12years, and got tested with my doctor's suggestion. I was so shocked!! I felt sooooo dirty!!! My fiance was totally supportive and I love him for that. To tell him was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Then all of a sudden I got 3 ob back to back.

Oh by the way my fiance tested neg. Oral sex for me is probably out of the question, I wouldn't want to infect him there. We do understand that sooner or later he will be infected.

keepsgoin 12-30-2005 11:52 AM

Re: What precautions when partners both have it?
Used2bscared, there's no need to feel dirty...I certainly am not dirty for having herpes! It's very common for people to dismiss little OBs as nothing. Don't feel guilty that you didn't realize you had it either and may pass it to your BF. I think it's societies fault that we aren't better informed about herpes. Just as you said, you felt dirty. There's nothing dirty about having herpes...period! We think nothing of seeing someone with a fever blister, other than maybe that it looks ugly...haha! But if you've read anything about herpes, you probably know by now that herpes cold sores and be spread to genitals and give genital herpes by oral sex. Before I got herpes, I knew ZERO about it. Now I know more than I ever wanted to know but still have things to learn!

Audrey-B 12-30-2005 06:23 PM

Re: What precautions when partners both have it?
Where on earth do doctors get this 30 day idea into their brain????? There is no such thing. If you have only been with your b/f and nobody else, then there is no way you could have given him anything. The fact that your b/f was unfaithful, well i'd say it's more likely that he caught the virus back then. Mine didn't show up until two months time. Others don't get "obvious" herpes signs until a few years into the relationship. Nobody is the same, we are all unique. Some never get obvious signs, others might get them within days, others in months/years.

If he is going to be unfaithful, then blame you for something he caught off another while being unfaithful, you really have to question whether he is worth being with. My friend caught genital warts in this way, her partner to whom she was engaged to was unfaithful and she is now stuck with this and he has moved on.

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