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movingrightalong 02-08-2006 04:48 PM

positive story of telling a partner
Hi all... it's been forever since I've posted here. Wanted to check in and share a story.
I was in a relationship for a few years and had yet to have to have "the talk" with anyone new. I've been spending time with someone for the last few weeks and we've clocked a lot of phone hours and really gotten pretty truthful about things. I had yet to tell him about my herpes,though and knew that it was better to do it now and just get it over with before things went any further.
I was really really nervous. I've come to terms pretty well with it within myself, but still struggle with the stigma and fear of rejection... or worse than rejection, just fear of being seen differently.
It was excruciating trying to spit it out. I had the poor guy in so much anguish becuase he knew that I was trying to get something out and that it was important and that I just couldnt get myself to say the words. This guy has me on such pedastal and I was terrified of falling off. Does that sound aweful?
Finally after squirming and squirming I said "I'm going to say this and I'd appreciate if you hold all questions to the end. Also, please keep holding me the whole time (we were spooning in bed just cuddling, clothes on.. ) and try not to change your body language until I'm done". I know... sound nuts, but I was really really nervous.
So I finally spit it out and he rolled away from me and I said "great... see... there you go rolling away"... he came right back and put his arms around me and said "are you kidding me? That's what you had to tell me? i was expecting something really bad. Look... I don't mean to be flippant, but this is life. things happen. you think that's going to change anything? we're adults. you caught an std. it sucks, but it could happen to anybody".
Just wanted to share the story with you all because I think that telling someone and the thought of rejection is one of the worst... it not THE worst part of this thing.
If anyone else has a positive story about telling, feel free to add it on!

bbweckerley 02-08-2006 06:19 PM

Re: positive story of telling a partner
Congratulations on finding a great guy and finding the courage to talk with him about having this thing. You did good and thanks for sharing some success/happiness with us. It's easy to get bogged down in self pity. Good Luck!!

Audrey-B 02-08-2006 08:45 PM

Re: positive story of telling a partner
I agree, congratulations!!!!! :) Telling somebody is the hardest and we all fear rejection of all types, but especially when it comes to something we had no control over catching.

Thanks again and i'm sure your story will be an inspiration to many.

snoopgirl 02-14-2006 08:27 AM

Re: positive story of telling a partner
Thanks for the positive story... what words did you use to tell him? Thanks I am struggling with the same situation...


backpacker 02-17-2006 11:57 PM

Re: positive story of telling a partner
Hey, mra! I also have not been posting much. I'm happy that you have found someone new to be excited about, and that he seems like such a caring, sensitive, mature person.

I am still with my soulmate, but we are having a very difficult time, and have started couples' therapy. Herpes is the least of our problems--in fact, from the start has never been.

Good luck! Keep posting every so often--I look for your posts.

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