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    Old 08-13-2008, 09:11 PM   #1
    lmidgetx
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    Unhappy Married 6yrs & recently diagnosed with Herpes

    Ok, so I am so confused and devastated. I am suffering with my second outbreak since I was diagnosed back in April. I have been with my man for 6 years and in April of 08 I was diagnosed with Herpes. I have been tested before with negative results. I don't understand. Although, I do have to tell that last year he revealed to me that his ex has herpes and she didn't tell him until after they where married. HA! Anyhow, about 2 years ago I started having problems with chronic yeast infections and was tested for EVERY STD and nothing came out positive. So I am just completely beside myself as to how now I have herpes? Can he be a career and just passed it on to me. Or can the virus just sit dormant for years and I've always had it and because of my problems with yeast infection it trigged an outbreak. I just really am confused and my doctor is no help. Can some please shed some light on this? Oh and yes he has been tested (blood) for Herpes and he was negative.

     
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    Old 08-13-2008, 11:25 PM   #2
    kilgore52
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    Re: Married 6yrs & recently diagnosed with Herpes

    more than likely he passed it on to you as a carrier since his ex has it. you just had an ob later due to your immune system. answering your question: i think you are right with your answers that you came up with.

    Last edited by kilgore52; 08-13-2008 at 11:27 PM.

     
    Old 08-14-2008, 05:47 AM   #3
    Truthseek
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    Re: Married 6yrs & recently diagnosed with Herpes

    First you say he was tested. Do you know what type of test he had? Was it a type specific IgG test (not IgM as that test is not reliable)? Did you see the results yourself?

    There seems to be some confusion on 'carrier'. If he is negative then he can't be a 'carrier' because he does not have it.

    If he was positive but does not experience symptoms then he is what they call "asymptomatic" meaning no symptoms. I.E. No symptoms but still has the virus.

    So it could be that you had it. Yeast and UTI infections often mimic/show up at the same time herpes is active. We women have WAY to much going on down there and anything that upsets that delicate balance can cause chaos.
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    Year one outbreaks Sep Oct Nov Dec Apr Jun. Ugh.
    Year two outbreaks Dec Apr/May

     
    Old 08-14-2008, 07:44 PM   #4
    lmidgetx
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    Re: Married 6yrs & recently diagnosed with Herpes

    Thank you for your reply and to answer your question no I did not see the results and I am not sure which test was done. I am going by what my husband told me my OB/Gyn doctor told him.
    But lets say he is not a carrier (being that we are not sure). I was tested in april of 2007 for Herpes and I was negative. It was a culture test because at the time I was having a yeast infection and so the OB/Gyn was baffled as to why it kept coming back so often. I mean like literally every time I had sex I would get an infection. So from there she did a multitude of tests and all came out negative for any STD's. How is it possible then for me to have herpes now.
    Yes I am having some emotional and psychological problems with this at the moment and I want answers. Yes I am see a counselor just incase you are wondering.
    Anyhow, so once there is an outbreak, how long do they last? And can I do to help the healing along? I keep clean and take my meds and use my creams but it feels like they don't really do much or work fast enough. I guess I am expecting instant relief. This outbreak has lasted a little over a week and I don't know what I need to do or not do.

     
    Old 08-14-2008, 07:54 PM   #5
    lmidgetx
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    Re: Married 6yrs & recently diagnosed with Herpes

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SeekingTruth4Al View Post
    First you say he was tested. Do you know what type of test he had? Was it a type specific IgG test (not IgM as that test is not reliable)? Did you see the results yourself?

    There seems to be some confusion on 'carrier'. If he is negative then he can't be a 'carrier' because he does not have it.

    If he was positive but does not experience symptoms then he is what they call "asymptomatic" meaning no symptoms. I.E. No symptoms but still has the virus.

    So it could be that you had it. Yeast and UTI infections often mimic/show up at the same time herpes is active. We women have WAY to much going on down there and anything that upsets that delicate balance can cause chaos.
    Thank you for your reply and to answer your question no I did not see the results and I am not sure which test was done. I am going by what my husband told me my OB/Gyn doctor told him.
    But lets say he is not a carrier (being that we are not sure). I was tested in april of 2007 for Herpes and I was negative. It was a culture test because at the time I was having a yeast infection and so the OB/Gyn was baffled as to why it kept coming back so often. I mean like literally every time I had sex I would get an infection. So from there she did a multitude of tests and all came out negative for any STD's. How is it possible then for me to have herpes now.
    Yes I am having some emotional and psychological problems with this at the moment and I want answers. Yes I am see a counselor just incase you are wondering.
    Anyhow, so once there is an outbreak, how long do they last? And can I do to help the healing along? I keep clean and take my meds and use my creams but it feels like they don't really do much or work fast enough. I guess I am expecting instant relief. This outbreak has lasted a little over a week and I don't know what I need to do or not do.

     
    Old 08-14-2008, 08:14 PM   #6
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    Re: Married 6yrs & recently diagnosed with Herpes

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lmidgetx View Post
    I was tested in april of 2007 for Herpes and I was negative. It was a culture test...So from there she did a multitude of tests and all came out negative for any STD's.
    Anyhow, so once there is an outbreak, how long do they last? And can I do to help the healing along?
    So just a culture and not a blood test back in April 2007? If a culture is not done early enough, when the sore/lesion/etc is 'fresh' it could turn out to be negative. Can you check with the doctor and see if a herpeselect type specific blood test was taken at the same time as that culture?

    Regarding outbreak time, every person is different. I had hell for 4 months! Back to back. I did not want to take suppressive meds. I decided to let my body fight it out. I know it's hard to try and do but the best advice is take care of yourself. Sleep well, eat well. The stress can weaken your immune system and make the outbreaks reoccur. I've been there with the physical and psychologial trauma that goes along with this. We all have.

    I too have been with someone for 6 years and tested negative in 2003. Then in Sept. 2007 with a UTI/yeast/bacteria tested positive. The "how/when" will haunt you. But it does not help.
    __________________
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    Year one outbreaks Sep Oct Nov Dec Apr Jun. Ugh.
    Year two outbreaks Dec Apr/May

    Last edited by Truthseek; 08-14-2008 at 08:16 PM.

     
    Old 08-15-2008, 10:33 AM   #7
    lmidgetx
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    Re: Married 6yrs & recently diagnosed with Herpes

    Yes along with some blood work. She did take the culture during a really bad episode of a yeast infection.
    this is my second outbreak and its been almost two weeks does it usually take this long to recover? Also am I super contagious during an outbreak? Well not that I'd be having sex anyways it would be too painful.
    Does anyone know of any good online support chat rooms other than this. Sometime I would like to just chat verses bloging having to wait for responses.

     
    Old 08-15-2008, 02:36 PM   #8
    kilgore52
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    Re: Married 6yrs & recently diagnosed with Herpes

    unfortunately, herpes is very contagious right before ,during and some time after.

     
    Old 08-15-2008, 07:47 PM   #9
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    Re: Married 6yrs & recently diagnosed with Herpes

    If its so contagious some time before and after then I am really confused. Because I remember when it was I first felt the systems. My husband and I were on vacation and were intimate the day before we left and that moment I was in alot of pain and discomfort thinking it was another yeast infection. He was not using pertection and yet he still tested negative a couple of weeks later.

     
    Old 08-17-2008, 07:03 AM   #10
    kilgore52
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    Re: Married 6yrs & recently diagnosed with Herpes

    taking meds and using condoms help from spreading the virus. as i mentioned in other posts, women can't see in their vaginas to check for obs. we can only feel the symtons. sometimes just having sex with the friction can bring it on. what i meant about the contagious part is that no one really knows at what point are we NOT contagious. ads say always, unless you use meds. they say the shedd, the itch, the ob, the healing and the scabs are contagious. so what does that leave for the safe time? the safest way in my opinion is to use condoms and not having oral sex. its just risky and you can get it from the waist up from the genitals. i have friends that this has happened to. so i know that it is possible to get type 2 on your face and type1 on your genitals. some people on these posts have talked about that. i do believe that some people don't test having it and show no symptoms but are carriers. it kind of reminds me of chicken pox but it comes back when it wants. i believe it is in the same family as herpes.

    Last edited by kilgore52; 08-17-2008 at 07:05 AM.

     
    Old 08-17-2008, 08:09 PM   #11
    xheartxofxgold
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    Re: Married 6yrs & recently diagnosed with Herpes

    Have you considered that maybe your husband isnt be 100% honest with you.

    I know its a scary horrible thought but it also something could happen to anyone!
    for example...My mother was with my father for 24 years and , she was faithful, and she thought they had a wonderful marriage.she rarely had yeast infections.Then suddenly she started getting a yeast infection everytime they were intimate.This lasted about 4 months.Until she found out he was cheating on her and had been cheating on her for all of those *4 months that she was having chronic yeast infections.so she left him and hasnt had major problems with infections since.I've been told that when men cheat and have unprotected sex,switching woman back and forth, even with just two women...the women can get chronic yeast infections.I dont know if its true, im not saying that is becuase i cannot judge your husband.But i guess to me, my mothers story is proof enough.All im saying honey, is that if you have been married for six years and are all the sudden having yeast infections everytime you have sex with him...and you suddenly caught herpes...and are only sleeping with one man....then...put two and two together.i hope he isn't cheating, but if he is then please find out for sure.becuase it is your body, that you have to live in for the rest of your life....and no man is worth your health and comfort.


    i everything turns out ok.

     
    Old 08-19-2008, 12:01 AM   #12
    lmidgetx
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    Wink Re: Married 6yrs & recently diagnosed with Herpes

    xheartxofxgold,
    That thought has crossed my mind and I have asked him. DUH!!!! Of course he wouldn't tell me the truth if he had. But I've never had reason to suspect any infidelity. He didnt tell me tho that his ex has herpes; He told me that last year. I was about grounded with that news. At that time I was tested for Herpes and was negative but my chronic infections continued. Dr's couldnt figure out what was causing my yeast infection and felt it could be my diet. Of course it made sense cuz I am addicted to chocolate and any thing sweet and as soon as I ate anything with sugar my infection was back. (that theory was tested positive). Anyhow, at this point I am just at a lose and realize I will never really find out how I contracted it. I mean I have to admit in my 20's I was a little promiscuous and may have always had it and now I am paying for it. Who knows? And I feel comfortable in saying that I do not believe my husband is cheating for many reasons.
    Thank you anyway for the suggestion. Its funny cuz I already went down that road.

     
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