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    Old 12-03-2008, 10:04 PM   #1
    jayjay12
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    Am extremly depressed about to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    hello everyone I would appreciate anyone that can respond and give me some kind of positive feed back. I went to my doctor and got an std check up. Everything came back fine, except the doctor said my herpes 2 test came back positive. I was so shocked. he said that it is impossible to know when I contracted the disease and I never had any symptons that I know of. I am now extremely depress and I feel that I will never be able to have sex again. I have one child and I always wanted another one. but who is going to have sex with me now. And if I get involved with someone again. How will I be able to tell my partner that kind of news. Im extremly depress and I have no one to to talk too. I stay up crying every night. And I could just break down in tears at the drop of the hat. I dont know what to do and I feel like Im bout to have a nervous breakdown. can anyone out there help me. please......
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    Old 12-03-2008, 10:36 PM   #2
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    Re: Am extremly depressed bout to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    Listen thats happen, why don't know ...it is a mystery like the virus itself, why you get infected if you had been so good in your life, probably karma or sort of ...you sexual life it is going to be more " cautelous" from know on that is all about it... i read once that since you have this human body, you are expose to suffer anykind of illness just think about how many person has diabetes, cancer, tuberculosis and so on...nobody has a free ride in this live and you and me ,we are part of the 40 millions in this country with that virus.

     
    Old 12-04-2008, 05:09 AM   #3
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    Re: Am extremly depressed bout to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    I would still have sex with you. haha here is a better way to look at it. If you have this virus and dont have any symptoms that great! A lot of people live in pain and are on medication daily. Also about 1 in 6 people in American have herpes. (including me) This is a great place to vent and talk about.

    That stress that you are going through right now is very normal. I think we all thought the exact same thing when we found out. But it goes away and your going to end up stronger in the end. Std's are so hush hush in society today. I think that is one of the reasons they can spread so much...

    You will be fine, just like the rest of us, hang in their champ.

     
    Old 12-08-2008, 10:09 AM   #4
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    Re: Am extremly depressed bout to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    hi i know this is hard on you but if you have never had a outbreak an you are stressed out an you still haven't had an outbreak its more than likely you will not because stress is the one thing that will give you an outbreak. what did your dr say about you spreading to some one else i don't know how many partners you have had but has any of them ever had an out break that you know of if not then i wouldn't worry about it my dr told me that testing positive to herpes only means that sometime inyour life you were exposed to it it might have happened when you were a baby so if i were you i would worrie id forget i even had the test

     
    Old 12-08-2008, 10:16 AM   #5
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    Re: Am extremly depressed bout to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jayjay12 View Post
    hello everyone I would appreciate anyone that can respond and give me some kind of positive feed back. I went to my doctor and got an std check up. Everything came back fine, except the doctor said my herpes 2 test came back positive. I was so shocked. he said that it is impossible to know when I contracted the disease and I never had any symptons that I know of. I am now extremely depress and I feel that I will never be able to have sex again. I have one child and I always wanted another one. but who is going to have sex with me now. And if I get involved with someone again. How will I be able to tell my partner that kind of news. Im extremly depress and I have no one to to talk too. I stay up crying every night. And I could just break down in tears at the drop of the hat. I dont know what to do and I feel like Im bout to have a nervous breakdown. can anyone out there help me. please......
    hi i know this is hard on you the herpes test should never be a test for anyone that has never had a outbreak anyone can go an have a herpes test an most will test positive for the herpes virus that only mean that sometime in your live you were exposed to it more than likely as a child untill you have a outbreak an your dr does a test on to sore that comes back as herpes you need not to worry you are ok just forget about having the blood test that means nothen. hope this helps

     
    Old 12-08-2008, 10:19 AM   #6
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    Re: Am extremly depressed bout to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    I wouldn't forget you ever had the test you need to be responsible and let your partners know but I do have to say I don't think it will be as big of a deal as you may think because it is very common now adays for people to have some sort of Std. Just be careful in the future and try to put a smile on your face because soon enough you will realize it's not the end of the world and there are much worse things that can happen! I am sorry that you are so stressed about it but clarke is right that it does come on with increased stress, so try to calm down and do some research without looking at the photos!! I think you'll find out that it is very manageable to live with nowadays and you'll be fine.
    Good Luck

    Last edited by Winterstorm; 12-08-2008 at 10:21 AM.

     
    Old 12-08-2008, 12:21 PM   #7
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    Re: Am extremly depressed about to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    i completely understand what you are going through. i just found out about a month ago when i had an outbreak. it's been pretty hard, painful, and emotional, but don't let it pull you down. do things you enjoy and make sure you keep your spirits up. i'm still struggling with the fact that i have it, and i'm really worried about meeting someone, if i like them, will they freak out and not want to be with me.. it's tough to think about. but life goes on! good luck and keep that chin up.

     
    Old 12-08-2008, 03:56 PM   #8
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    Re: Am extremly depressed bout to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Winterstorm View Post
    I wouldn't forget you ever had the test you need to be responsible and let your partners know but I do have to say I don't think it will be as big of a deal as you may think because it is very common now adays for people to have some sort of Std. Just be careful in the future and try to put a smile on your face because soon enough you will realize it's not the end of the world and there are much worse things that can happen! I am sorry that you are so stressed about it but clarke is right that it does come on with increased stress, so try to calm down and do some research without looking at the photos!! I think you'll find out that it is very manageable to live with nowadays and you'll be fine.
    Good Luck
    hi the reason i said to forget about having the test is the dr should never had given the test if you have never had an ob and you go for a std testing they won't give you the herpes test unless you ask for it the reason is that most people will test positive for it that don't mean they will pass it to there partner most people get it as a child an then theres the ones that get it from an infected partner so what im saying is that the test should have never been done in the first place unless you thought that your partner has it other than that only get tested if you have an ob but test the sore or blister.

     
    Old 12-08-2008, 11:19 PM   #9
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    Re: Am extremly depressed about to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    I TOTALLY disagree with Clarke...I actually believe quite the opposite. Just because there's no cure by the pharm industry does not mean herpes testing should not be a part of the standard STD tests that are run. Why would you say such an awful thing?? You may want to get your facts straight first. There are two different types of herpes, 1 and 2. Yes, it is true that type one is often gotten as a child in the form of oral herpes (cold sores), and many people stop getting cold sores as they get older, so it's relatively benign (in most people). However, that is NOT the case for type 2, genital herpes. You may think it's no big deal to have the virus because you don't have horrible OBs, but I and many on this board would hugely disagree with you.

    Blood tests are much more accurate than they used to be and they can also determine exactly which type you have. Everyone should know whether or not they are infected with this STD and ALL STDs so we can slow down this horrible epidemic. Knowing when you didn't have it (by having routine testing done in an STD panel) and then when you did get it will also help you better determine who gave it to you. I have been suffering greatly for 3 years with it, so it IS a big deal to me! Some people's OBs may slow down after the first year, only to later get worse again. This virus is different for everyone and none of us should say it's no big deal.

     
    Old 12-08-2008, 11:51 PM   #10
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    Re: Am extremly depressed about to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    I agree with Ocean on a few things, first I think that herpes should always be tested for by your doctor and everyone should know if they have an Std or not! But I do think that its not the end of the world, I know if I had it and I just found out I would freak like anyone else but I also know that I would move on and try and be as positive as possible too! I've read alot on herpes and it effects everyone different so I have to say I'm sorry Ocean that your one of the ones that have had a harder time with it and I hope in the future that it will get easier for you. Jayjay I hope for you that it doesn't get worse and that you can try to move on and get more information and feel ok about it!
    WS

     
    Old 12-09-2008, 10:41 AM   #11
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    Re: Am extremly depressed about to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    thanks for everyone that responded I am very grateful. and I do feel a lot better about it. I know that this is something that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I do have another question and would appreciate everyone's feedback once again. I would love to settle down with someone and have another child. but i just think I am definitly going to be alone for the rest of my life. Who wants to sleep with someone unprotectively that has this. Im just afraid that if I was to tell my partner then they would run. Has anyone who is currently going through this were able to have meaniful realtionships and were able to have children?
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    Old 12-09-2008, 10:37 PM   #12
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    Re: Am extremly depressed about to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    Check out the success stories posting on this board. I have genital herpes and have had two relationships that knew about the herpes before becoming intimate, and things ended not at all because of the herpes. I do not have any kids, but I know for a fact that you can still have meaningful relationships. One of the guys I was intimate with never used a condom during the 9 months we were together and never caught the virus (we were VERY honest about my o.b.'s and I was on Valtrex). Really, it can be fine!!

     
    Old 12-09-2008, 11:37 PM   #13
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    Re: Am extremly depressed about to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jayjay12 View Post
    thanks for everyone that responded I am very grateful. and I do feel a lot better about it. I know that this is something that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I do have another question and would appreciate everyone's feedback once again. I would love to settle down with someone and have another child. but i just think I am definitly going to be alone for the rest of my life. Who wants to sleep with someone unprotectively that has this. Im just afraid that if I was to tell my partner then they would run. Has anyone who is currently going through this were able to have meaniful realtionships and were able to have children?


    Hi JayJay. This is my first post here, but I thought my experience might provide you with some hope for the future.

    I'm a 20-something guy - good looking, well-educated and financially successful I might add... haha - that had an outstanding relationship (about a year) with a girl who had genital HSV-1.

    She first told me she had H-1 about 3 weeks after we started going out. At first, I was completely spooked by her revelation. I thought, "how can this amazing, caring, smart, gorgeous and real person who I've completely fallen for have this incurable STD?" I didn't know anything about it, how you contract it... what the symptoms were, treatment, etc... I had only had sexual relationships with two other girls before her, so this was all very scary to me.

    I know it took an immense amount of courage and fortitude for her to tell me that she had H before we became intimate with each other. The fact that she did tell me helped build a ton of trust and respect in me for her. I thought, "if she can tell me this... she can be open with me about anything."

    She was not afforded the same luxury by the person who gave it to her. They did not tell her they had H. To this day, she does not know who she got it from.

    It was definitley a tough decision for me... but after talking with her about her experiences with genital H-1 and doing a lot of secondary research myself , I decided that the distinct possibility of contracting what really amounts to a "mild and intermittent skin disorder down below" was worth it . Being able to fall in love with her was definitely worth the risk!

    We had sex during our relationship quite frequently - both protected and unprotected. But about four months after we had been going out, I noticed two white sores on the shaft of my penis... Sure enough, it was H. It really wasn't a surprise or a concern to be honest. In a way, I was hoping to get H from her, so she wouldn't feel inferior or ashamed. It kind of made us feel equal and brought us closer, and I liked that.

    She was devasted for me, but I just shrugged it off, cause it really wasn't a big deal. I got a few other symptoms, head ache, fever, swolen lymph nodes, but they subsided in a few days. I haven't had an outbreak or any symptoms since then (more than a year ago).

    I can think of dozens of medical events in my life with more painful, dangerous side-effects - infection and removal of my appendix, removal of my wisdom teeth, mono, the stomach flue, a broken hand, chicken pocks - you get the picture.

    Unfortunately, the story of my relationship does not have a happy ending. We broke up about 10 moths in. But the good news is that it had absolutely nothing to do with H. The fact that I have H-1 didn't cross my mind until a few days after we broke up... when I thought about the fact that some day, I will have to tell a new partner that I have this disease.

    I haven't dated anyone since we broke up (summer 2008), but I am confident there that there is an amazing person out there that will accept me for both... the awesome things about me and my imperfections.

    I'm not going to settle for anyting less. I realize that I will probably be dumped in the future (perhaps multiple times) because I have H... but there is nothing I can do about that. I know in my heart that the reason I got H was becasue I made a decision based on the pursuit of love and a long-term relationship with an amazing girl. At the end of the day, I can look myself in the mirror and accept that.

    It sucks to have this disease because of the social stigma, yes, but I don't regret the decision I made. Great relationships are possible in spite of Herpes - I know that first-hand . You will discover this to!

     
    Old 12-10-2008, 06:14 PM   #14
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    Unhappy Re: Am extremly depressed about to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    hi oceanus i don't mean to up set anyone when i went to my dr i went with the blood test that i had done on a website you pay them you get a number you don't give your name an you go get tested when i got the test i was so stressed out i went to my dr he told me that he could test anyone in the office an get the same result more than likely he said that it only means that sometime in your live that i was exposed to the virus it don't mean you got it having sex all i was saying is if you have never had an ob or didn't have a reason to think you had herpes then why get the herpes blood test if you ever do have a out break then get the soar tested. if you go into a std clinic to get tested for std herpes is not part of the testing because most people will test postive that don't mean your having obs and passing it . and i do think herpes is a big deal ive researched it ive tryed to get rid of it i have spent over 1000 dollars trying to get rid of it so i know its a big deal i would give anything not to have it im sorry if i afended you or anyone

     
    Old 12-10-2008, 07:11 PM   #15
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    Re: Am extremly depressed about to have a nervous break down please please help me.

    Clarke,
    I appreciate your thoughtful post, but you obviously don't know as much about herpes as you seem to think. MOST people do not have type 2 genital herpes. You really need to get your facts straight before you give advice to others. Anyone who has herpes should know they have it and which type so they can tell their partners and avoid exposing others to it as much as possible. About 25% of people have type 2 genital herpes (1 in 4 or 5 depending on the stats you read). A much greater percentage of people have oral herpes (type 1), but these are TWO ENTIRELY different viruses and behave differently. If you get genital type 2 herpes you are much more likely to suffer more greatly than if you have type 1. Men seem to suffer less from herpes than do women. On average people get 4-6 outbreaks per year, according to online stats, and we all know OBs usually last a couple weeks, so 2X4=8 weeks (2 months) of suffering per year, minimum. Many women get an OB every month when they get their period. A period is painful enough and to add herpes to that makes life even harder.

    Just because you don't get OBs does NOT mean you can't pass the virus on to others. Everyone, whether you do or don't get many OBs, has asymptomatic shedding, meaning during times when you don't have any symptoms of an OB the virus is still contagious to others because it's shedding on your skin. And just because you don't have many OBs does not mean the person you pass it onto won't suffer greatly. Everyone reacts differently to the virus.

    It sounds like you probably must suffer a fair amount from OBs since you've tried and spent so much on trying to get rid of the virus from your body.

    You might want to put my name in this search engine and see what I've done and am doing currently to rid myself of OBs and possibly this virus for good. I'm drinking food grade hydrogen peroxide 2x/day, and am currently on my 5th week of doing this. I also do ozone treatments regularly. They help, but haven't "cured" me of OBs completely or satisfactorily.

    Last edited by Oceanus; 12-10-2008 at 07:12 PM.

     
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