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  • Getting back in the "dating scene" with herpes

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    Old 05-21-2009, 11:12 PM   #1
    ashlysmashly
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    Question Getting back in the "dating scene" with herpes

    Hey. My names Ashly, I am 18 years old and I was diagnosed with genital herpes in December 2008.. the guy who gave it to me new he had it and never told me and we actually used a condom but it broke.. and ya thats what happened.. anyway I have just recently been trying to get back into the dating scene and I am finding it very hard. I had my first 2 rejections now after notifying the guys of my herpes.. and I have dated one guy who accepted it but got freaked out in the long run and we hardly ever had sex and he broke up with me. I have tried going on different websites for dating with herpes but most of them either don't cater to my area (Port Coquitlam,bc, canada) or if they do the members haven't visited the site in months.. so if anyone has any advise or knows of any good dating sites or even events or something could you please let me know cuz all this rejection business is very discouraging.

    thanks!
    ashly

     
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    Old 05-24-2009, 08:18 PM   #2
    coping63
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    Re: Getting back in the "dating scene" with herpes

    Try checking out the Happy Couples Thread, someone on their may have some links.

    As far as Rejection, I know its hard out there, it is discouraging to say the least, but Don't give up and YOU will find someone who loves you for YOU and the rest will not matter...... Everyone on here has been where you are and some still are, it takes time to find the right person........YOU will..... Take Care

     
    Old 05-29-2009, 01:23 PM   #3
    ashlysmashly
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    Re: Getting back in the "dating scene" with herpes

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by coping63 View Post
    Try checking out the Happy Couples Thread, someone on their may have some links.

    As far as Rejection, I know its hard out there, it is discouraging to say the least, but Don't give up and YOU will find someone who loves you for YOU and the rest will not matter...... Everyone on here has been where you are and some still are, it takes time to find the right person........YOU will..... Take Care
    THX so much for your positive feed back. I was finding it very difficult to deal with my herpes with all the emotional side effects of it. I'm usually such a strong person emotionally and this just sorta broke me. But joining this site and seeing that I am not alone helps so much I feel such a connection with the people on here even though I don't know any of them in person. But ya its just nice to not go through it alone.

    peace and love
    ash

     
    Old 05-31-2009, 09:48 AM   #4
    coping63
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    Re: Getting back in the "dating scene" with herpes

    Trust me Chick... You are not and never will be alone... You can reach out anytime, you can even private message if you want, if there is something you don't feel comfortable posting... I am here for Ya!! Many others too.... You hang in there!!!! It will happen, It is a lot to take in, and I feel the same, you go through mega emotions, it is more emotional in some ways then physical!!! you just need to be patient and focus on you first!!!!!

     
    Old 05-31-2009, 11:38 AM   #5
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    Re: Getting back in the "dating scene" with herpes

    I think most of us have trouble with depression when first diagnosed and during outbreaks. Actually, I wonder if there isn't a connection between activation of the virus, suppression of the immune system and depression, which hasn't really been medically explored.

    Like my doctor said, "There's no way to say this gently, herpes stinks." However, you're not at all alone, your body's response to the disease will get more efficient, and over time, the likelihood of transmitting the disease even gets lower.

    There are people out there that will look past the disease and see you, and everything you have to offer, and not simply see a "risk."

    And really... at worst, it's a disease that won't kill you and after time won't even cause as much discomfort as it does now.

     
    Old 05-31-2009, 04:38 PM   #6
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    Re: Getting back in the "dating scene" with herpes

    Hi I just posted a comment/question re: herpes. I was recently told I have been exposed to it but have had no symptoms that I am aware of. What does it mean? Can I get an outbreak at any time? Why wasn't anything prescribed by the doc? I am so scared and confused and depressed. thanx

     
    Old 06-01-2009, 11:10 AM   #7
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    Re: Getting back in the "dating scene" with herpes

    did a partner tell you that you had been exposed? or a blood test? I would get a blood test to determine if you have it. If it is a recent exposure it might not show up yet but you would need to get retested in a few months

     
    Old 06-01-2009, 11:25 AM   #8
    coping63
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    Re: Getting back in the "dating scene" with herpes

    HI First I know it is hard and I know you are scared... try to relax... Do you have a copy of the specific blood test and the numbers for the results that you were given? This makes a difference, If it was an IgG that is a very accurate test and very reliable..
    If you were positive for HSV1 oral, then that is the least agressive with the less amount of OB's, if it is HSV2 genital that is more aggressive, but even if you test positive that doesn't mean you will ever persent with symptoms... some people have the virus and never come down with an OB, but you can still pass it to others, the doctor could have put you on a antiviral medication to keep you from having an OB, I guess that was his judgement call, you can still call them and ask for a precription just as a precaution especially if you are in a sexual relationship so you can limit the chances of passing it to your partner.. I know you are going through a lot of changes emotionally and trying to deal with this and wondering many many things, there are a lot of people here to help. try to relax, Stress is a major factor in an OB of Herpes , also aviod nuts and chocolate, get plenty of rest and eat good heathly meals.. Everyone is different and how their bodies react to this virus is also... Take Care , I am here if you need anything...

     
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