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  • what do i do? please read; a concerned gf

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    Old 06-11-2009, 05:20 PM   #1
    B3achbabi
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    Unhappy what do i do? please read; a concerned gf

    ok heres my storey,

    I've been dating this guy a few months, and we waited a while before we did anything sexual. Well almost a month ago, aprox 2 wks or more, i went to the doctor found out i had BV,(Bacterial Vaginosis) well took treatment it cleared up, and i've been fine. Well come to find out, my bf has been bothered about something past few days so i asked what was wrong, he out of the blue told me, he was with a girl a few yrs ago that had herpes, and he was tested and i guess positive for herpes.I ofcourse was in shock he never bothered to tell me, and said he didn't want to beacause he knew i prob wouldn't date him. I am upset, the reason i mentioned the BV (Bacterial Vaginosis) infection, is beacuse my doctor gave me an STD check just to be safe. Im not positive if she tested for herpes or if all STD test are to check for everything but, my results said i was fine and didn't have anything.


    So with all of that said, i am now worried, i may have contracted herpes since we have had unprotected sex. I have had no symptoms, but i understand that it is something that is forever with you, and i am truely upset he didn't tell me before hand. What should i do? Im going to call my doctor tomorrow to ask if the test, checked for the herpes virus. Im finding myself in a very hard position beacuse i care alot about this guy but, that is a life changing thing, im hoping for the best.

     
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    Old 06-12-2009, 07:58 AM   #2
    angeleyz81
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    Re: what do i do?please read;a concerned gf

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by B3achbabi View Post
    ok heres my storey,

    I've been dating this guy a few months, and we waited a while before we did anything sexual. Well almost a month ago, aprox 2 wks or more, i went to the doctor found out i had BV,(Bacterial Vaginosis) well took treatment it cleared up, and i've been fine. Well come to find out, my bf has been bothered about something past few days so i asked what was wrong, he out of the blue told me, he was with a girl a few yrs ago that had herpes, and he was tested and i guess positive for herpes.I ofcourse was in shock he never bothered to tell me, and said he didn't want to beacause he knew i prob wouldn't date him. I am upset, the reason i mentioned the BV (Bacterial Vaginosis) infection, is beacuse my doctor gave me an STD check just to be safe. Im not positive if she tested for herpes or if all STD test are to check for everything but, my results said i was fine and didn't have anything.


    So with all of that said, i am now worried, i may have contracted herpes since we have had unprotected sex. I have had no symptoms, but i understand that it is something that is forever with you, and i am truely upset he didn't tell me before hand. What should i do? Im going to call my doctor tomorrow to ask if the test, checked for the herpes virus. Im finding myself in a very hard position beacuse i care alot about this guy but, that is a life changing thing, im hoping for the best.
    He was definitely wrong for not letting you make your own choice.. many people fear rejection because of the stigma with herpes when it really is just a pesky skin condition. I would have been more afraid of losing you after sleeping with you and not telling you.. how can you trust someone that lied to you...but that in itself is someone each person needs to deal with. I am not a very forgiving person.. but many others are..I would say give yourself some time and then follow your heart. People with herpes can live normal lives.

    Yeah, normally the test that doctors run for stds do not include herpes unless you ask for it. If your doctor didnt run it ask for an IgG type specific test.. but if it is a new infection within the past 4 months it may not show up. At which point in time I would suggest getting retested.

    I would wait to see what your status is.. and I am going to post transmission rates below.

    Here are the Female to Male transmission rates

    If you have 100 couples where the female has HSV 2 but not the male (these figures are over a year) the odds of female to male transmission are if you do nothing other than avoid sex during an outbreak 4 men out of a 100 will get herpes in a year or 4% If you do go on a suppressive therapy then it drops to 2 men out of a 100 in a year or 2% and if you use suppressive and a condom the chances are 1 man out of a 100 will get herpes in one year or 1%.

    Male to Female Transmission Rate

    If you have 100 couples where the male has HSV 2 but not the female (these figures are over a year) the odds of male to female transmission are if you do nothing (other than avoid sex when there is an outbreak) 8-10 females out of a 100 will get herpes in a year or 8-10% If you do go on a suppressive therapy then it drops to 4-5 females out of a 100 in a year or 4-5% and if you use suppressive therapy and a condom the chances are 2-3 females out of a 100 will get herpes in one year or 2-3%.

    The valtrex and transmission study stats are based on having sex 2 times/week.
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