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  • Help Gave HSV2 to husband

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    Old 04-29-2010, 08:59 PM   #1
    jphelps
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    Angry Help Gave HSV2 to husband

    When I met my husband, I had just ended a 3 year relationship in which I was 100% monogomous. I decided to get an STD test just to be safe since I really like my husband and knew he could be someone serious. Little did I know you have to "ASK" specifically for a "Herpes" test so when I took my STD test it came back negative. I happily shared this with my now husband and he shared his negative results as well. Within 4 months of being intimate, I received a text from my ex saying that I gave him herpes. When I went and got tested, it came back positive! Devastated, I called my husband and he consoled me. At the time, we had yet to be married. We had just found out we were 3 months pregnant and that he also now had Herpes. You can only imagine what was going through my husbands head after only knowing me for a few months. My husband ended up marrying me a year later despite these huge strains on our marriage and we had a second child. Now, almost 3 years later, he is having a difficult time with the fact that he has herpes and that we never got a chance to know one another. 2 kids later, life in our blended family of 4 is unbearable most days. I love him unconditionally and would still marry him again if I had a second chance. The problem is, his view of me has been damaged by the thought of my irresponsibility and " bad choice of men" to the point where he is considering a divorce. Is there anyone out there that, has a better outlook, viewpoint, or can relate? I am desperate for advice on how to handle his unfair comments related to my past. I know he loves me but this herpes issue has changed the entire dynamic of how I have always been treated like a queen. Now, I feel I am treated like trash, a loser, a dissappointment. Help please.

     
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    Old 04-30-2010, 07:32 AM   #2
    coping63
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    Re: Help Gave HSV2 to husband

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jphelps View Post
    When I met my husband, I had just ended a 3 year relationship in which I was 100% monogomous. I decided to get an STD test just to be safe since I really like my husband and knew he could be someone serious. Little did I know you have to "ASK" specifically for a "Herpes" test so when I took my STD test it came back negative. I happily shared this with my now husband and he shared his negative results as well. Within 4 months of being intimate, I received a text from my ex saying that I gave him herpes. When I went and got tested, it came back positive! Devastated, I called my husband and he consoled me. At the time, we had yet to be married. We had just found out we were 3 months pregnant and that he also now had Herpes. You can only imagine what was going through my husbands head after only knowing me for a few months. My husband ended up marrying me a year later despite these huge strains on our marriage and we had a second child. Now, almost 3 years later, he is having a difficult time with the fact that he has herpes and that we never got a chance to know one another. 2 kids later, life in our blended family of 4 is unbearable most days. I love him unconditionally and would still marry him again if I had a second chance. The problem is, his view of me has been damaged by the thought of my irresponsibility and " bad choice of men" to the point where he is considering a divorce. Is there anyone out there that, has a better outlook, viewpoint, or can relate? I am desperate for advice on how to handle his unfair comments related to my past. I know he loves me but this herpes issue has changed the entire dynamic of how I have always been treated like a queen. Now, I feel I am treated like trash, a loser, a dissappointment. Help please.
    Take it from me, this is not your fault and if you knew you would have been up front and honest, I think that some of it has to do with the way we VEIW ourselves after we discover we have this desease, some of that carries over in how we interact with our partner.. I think that if in the beginning he was supportive and exceptant, then why after years and having children together would this make his outlook different???? I would ask myself if maybe there is something else going on with him and now he wants to use this as an excuse to end the relationship, I find that people are very willing to except this virus more then not and if they Know the risk and are willing to take it then they have no reason to turn around and make the person that has it feel insuffinacate or bad about theirself.. Now this only my opinion, I found out I had Herpes after I had an OB and my x-husband was not very understanding or excepting, thought I had cheated, and the fact is that is not usually the case, Herpes can lay dormate in ones body for years and then decide to rear its ugly head.. Try to relax and maybe see it from a different veiw point, there is something else going on, people don't change overnight.....: ) Coping

     
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