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  • Forgive bfs STD test lie?

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    Old 08-29-2012, 02:38 PM   #1
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    Question Forgive bfs STD test lie?

    Hey, I don't really know what I'm doing here but I've got to talk to someone and the nature of my problem means that I can't really talk to my friends. The stigma around STDs is massive, especially for girls- and i just cant deal with the risk of my friends and my bfs friends finding out whats happened. Which is this.

    My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year- we both turned 17 in July this year- and at that time I had a contraceptive implant put in- id always sworn i would when i hit 16. The friend going with me told My boyfriend, who insisted he come along to this appointment. Fair enough. But while we were waiting he, without any prompting from me, told me unequivocally and pointedly that he had been FULLY TESTED FOR STDs. This was great to hear- I'd been going out with the guy for 3 weeks and I was hardly ready to ask. We started sleeping together and we still used condoms until about 6 months into the relationship, but after that we stopped- like he said, I was protected from pregnancy and he'd been checked, so what's the problem? He said.

    But yesterday I tested positive to herpes and am awaiting results of blood tests for god knows what else. I know that this can be transmitted through mouth ulcers but I asked him anyway if he'd been lying about being tested in the first place. After some feeble attempts to dent it, He admitted he had. This boy has been putting me at risk from whatever he may have (both of our test results are pending) every time we've had sex in the past 6 months. Anniversaries, valentines. The problem is that I love him and he says he is so so sorry. Truthfully, I can barely contemplate not being with him and the thought of not being with him is terrifying and horrible and very very painful. He blatantly has shown that he understands what he has done and should I offer him another chance I would make it quite clear that he's got a whole lot to make up to me to make this ever go away. But I don't know if I can bear to ever sleep with him again, condom or no. I just feel traumatised. A 17th of my life, my first sexual partner- I was meeting his extended family the weekend I found out. I was hoping for some advice, if possible- do i forgive him? Do i trust him again? What should i do if his/my tests reveal something else hes given me? Thank you.

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    Old 08-31-2012, 08:31 AM   #2
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    Re: Forgive bfs STD test lie?

    I am sorry you are dealing with this, the choice to forgive him and stay with him is up to you. Everyone has their own personal views on what they would do and personally me, I do not need to be with someone that would lie to me about something that serious especially if he has had sexual partners before me ( I say this because there is a risk that he could have something).

    I think if you stay with him, the trust is something he is going to have to work to regain which should be understandable.

    I wish you the best with your choice and hopefully the test doesn't come up with anything else other then what you already know.

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