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Need advice on how to handle this situation...

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Old 01-19-2013, 03:24 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Downey
Posts: 1
Reader45 HB User
Need advice on how to handle this situation...

I have a friend/co-worker (for about a year) and we are very close. We recently started dating (a few months) and she was just diagnosed (3 days ago) with genital HSV-1, which she almost certainly got from me. I have oral HSV-1, but have had no recent outbreaks. She was aware of this and we did previously talk about this. Obviously, at any sign of an outbreak, I would inform her and we would try to be as safe as possible. But, apparently she contracted this while I was asymptomatic. I was aware that this could be passed without symptoms, but what I thought (mistakenly) was that this meant was during outbreaks, before and after symptoms show. What makes this even worse is that I was being extra careful and diligent about monitoring for any tingling on my lips or any other first signs out a possible outbreak.

Anyway, after her diagnosis, she immediately informed me, but has since shut down on me. I've sent her messages, tried to talk to her, but she's pretty much just been non-responsive. Since we've met, we've pretty much been the closest people to each other and there are no words that can express the amount of guilt I feel right now. Of course, I've apologized and offered any and all support I can give her, but I'm getting no response. Not anger, not pain, just no response...completely withdrawn from me.

Please advise. There is nothing we can do to change what has happened, but I would do ANYTHING for her, period. I can/will be there in ANY capacity and it makes me feel even more guilty that she's shut down. Do I back off and just give her time and space, it's only been a couple days? Do I continue to push communication? It's complicated by the fact that we are co-workers. I can probably work remotely, at least temporarily, if that would help her. I am prepared to do anything here, but her shutting down has pretty much tied my hands, so I don't know how to proceed here. Suggestions?

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