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Diagnosed And Scared

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Old 03-01-2013, 10:05 AM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 8
SoulConfused HB User
Diagnosed And Scared

Hello Everyone!
After reading many, many different threads about H, I am posting for my very first time.

I had my very first OB last weekend, freaked out (of course), because I didn't know what it was. I told my boyfriend (of 3 months) and we started joking that if it was H, he would let me call up his ex and give her a piece of my mine.
Before I found out, he was very sweet.. he even wanted to look and see what the outbreak looked like and assured me "it's probably just a bad reaction to gluten, a rash".

Well, the symptoms intensified. I went to the doctor the next day, got a culture. Test results came back positive. I told him yesterday over the phone and granted, I know I didn't do it right. He was at work and I was flipping out! He was upset, thinks I blame him (which I really don't. it's just something that happened). He said he needs time to think. I haven't heard from him since yesterday morning.

I am so scared. I need his comfort, but I also know he is processing all of this for the first time too. I have sent him a few texts and an email, basically saying how much I want to be with him, I don't blame him and I want us to support each other through this. I know he is probably angry at the world, and hopefully not me... He has not shown any symptoms, and so it's coming as a shock. Also, he hasn't been tested yet, but my doctor did say that an outbreak like this usually means that my partner gave it to me.

I am confused. Do I leave him alone? Let him come to me?
I am afraid he will want to end the relationship. Which doesn't make that much sense since before this, we were totally in synch, very affectionate, wonderful sex life, spend every weekend together and talk every day.

Also, as far as I can tell, if we both have the same strain, and stay together, our sex life doesn't really need to "change" other than if one of us has an OB right?

Any advice, words of encouragement, similar stories, would help greatly!
Thank you in advance!

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Old 03-03-2013, 01:16 AM   #2
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Clearwater, Fl
Posts: 52
RSoxfan HB User
Re: Diagnosed And Scared

If he gave it to you then you have the same strain. He may be a carrier and never has OB'. My ex GF gave it to me, and she had no idea she had it. She's a carrier that doesn't get OB's. I only had my initial OB and nothing since. That was September of 2011.

Last edited by RSoxfan; 03-03-2013 at 01:21 AM.

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Old 03-13-2013, 07:33 PM   #3
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Re: Diagnosed And Scared

It is always tough to say where it came from or who brought it into the relationship so blame is not a good thing and he is probably thinking you are blaming him if you flipped out.

Needless to say, he does need time to process it all and I would give him time. You have reached out already so just leave the ball in his court, I know its not that easy but if it was meant to be he will come around. The initial shock of this is the worst.

I hope it all works out for you

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Old 03-16-2013, 12:56 PM   #4
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 8
SoulConfused HB User
Re: Diagnosed And Scared

Hello Everyone,
Thank you both for your replies.

Things are much better since I first posted!

My outbreak has lasted about 2 weeks but started healing as soon as I started taking the Zovirax.

My boyfriend and I are fine. We actually talked right away and he felt so guilty--I think he is worried that I will resent him. But we cleared it up and the truth is, this could happen to anyone.

My only concern is that I HATE THE ZOVIRAX. It causes the worst constipation. I already eat super healthy (Gluten free/Celiac and I follow a mostly Paleo lifestyle). So, I don't think I am going to take the viral-suppressant. My doctor told me I could continue taking Zovirax 2x daily as the suppressant---also Kaiser does not cover Valtrex and apparently it's all the same?

Either way, I picked up some Lysine Supplement. I will start that more rigorously.

I hope that my diet and lifestyle of being active and healthy, will stave off any other outbreaks.

Is it true that the outbreaks get better/ less painful? I can't imagine going through all that pain again.

Old 03-19-2013, 07:32 AM   #5
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 2
ZWhite HB User
Re: Diagnosed And Scared

Secondary outbreaks are much easier for sure. Some people rarely get them and some get them monthly.

Pretty much anything that works on cold sores will help with them. I myself found that Blistex is amaaaaaaazing instantaneous relief.

Just remember it can spread to anywhere on your skin through contact especially if your already sick with anything. Secondary infections are much milder than the primary location as your body knows how to fight it as it burrows down into the nerve.

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