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Feeling Betrayed

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Old 03-21-2013, 09:22 AM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 3
SMC7791 HB User
Feeling Betrayed

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year. Right before it happened, I had my yearly gynecologist appointment and I usually get a full STD test. I was blind sided when I got the results back and found out I have Herpes 2 antibodies. I thought back to who I had sex with since the last time I had a full testing and my recent boyfriend was the only one without a condom.

I decided that I definitely needed to talk to him about it face to face. It was so difficult saying the words out loud, they barely came out in a whisper. I told him that it had to be from him and he needed to get tested if he didn't already know about it. He was convinced that there was no way he had it and I had gotten it from a toilet seat (seriously??) or I was just a carrier.

I feel that I have made such a bad decision to not be more careful and that I've ruined my life. You get one life, and I decided to do this to mine. I don't ever plan to have that talk with anyone because I am so embarrassed and feel so disgusting. Whenever I see a cute guy or think about someone, I am immediately reminded of this and am discouraged to even think about a future with anyone. I've convinced myself that I have to settle for my ex so I don't have to ever tell anyone else.

Does this get better?

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Old 04-08-2013, 09:54 PM   #2
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Crosby, TX
Posts: 3
charlietarango HB User
Re: Feeling Betrayed

I had a similiar experience. I was diagnosed with hsv2 this past november. i havent been with anyone else besides the person who gave it to me. I feel the same way, i want to get out but i almost feel like i have to settle bc who else could want me? i feel your pain..going out and meeting new ppl isnt even fun anymore bc i could never be brave enough to tell someone..i keep reading that it gets better and its not that bad but i cannot imagine telling anyone that! praying for us all :/

Old 04-26-2013, 05:31 PM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5
Pony55 HB User
Re: Feeling Betrayed

Hey guys, it definitely does get better!

This disease is NOT a life ruining thing. I know it feels that way right now. But I want you to understand that the reason it feels so horrible is because this disease is so stigmatized. That means that everyone is hush hush about it, joking about it, or insinuating that only sexually promiscuous people get herpes. They don't understand the disease and thus can't discuss it maturely.

So forget about them. Learn what you can about the disease and try confiding in one of your closest friends, a parent, a counsellor about it. The people who love you, truly, love you for YOU not for your health status. Just because you have herpes does not make you a nasty, rude, horrible person, any less intelligent or beautiful or sexy. Really! It doesn't. It is just a rough blow to you at first as you accept this into your life.

The best way to get back on your feet is to talk to someone. Do positive things for yourself, take care of yourself, be healthy and happy and nurture all the good things inside of you. When you feel good about yourself again, go out, meet people, have fun. Do not rush into anything, get to know people and when you find someone you are really into, have that conversation with them. If they don't want you because you have a skin disease, then forget about them.

Before I met my current (herpes-free) partner, I worried I wouldn't find anyone who would love me with my herpes. But, I joked with myself that having herpes almost acts as a "screening method" to keep the jerks away. It worked! My current partner is amazing and accepts me as I am. Herpes and all! You will find someone like this too, just stay positive.

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