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How to live with knowing you have herpes

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Old 07-07-2013, 02:59 PM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Calgary
Posts: 2
movingonalready HB User
How to live with knowing you have herpes

I recently got diagnosed with genital herpes after going in to see the doctor a few days ago. I was caught by surprised because just a few days earlier, I had been on pills for having a yeast infection. Going into the doctors office, I expected to hear that it was some sort of aggravation of the original yeast infection. Coping with the new of this was not easy and still is not.

I was surprised, shocked, hurt, upset and felt like I had been stabbed in the stomach. The first thought that came to my mind was, how could this happen to me? Surely, i've heard of other people it has happened to but I never thought I would have to deal with this.

Currently, I'm just trying to stop crying and stay positive as I know that stress can worsen an outbreak. I am currently experiencing my first outbreak and feel like I've never had to go through something this painful before. It burns like crazy every time I have to urinate. I can barely walk without feeling extremely uncomfortable and my whole body seems tender and sore.

I have been on antivirals for 2 days now and I know it takes 3 days for them to start taking affect.

I dont really know how to cope with this. I have a loving boyfriend who I've been with for 4 years. He had a cold sore and we engaged in oral sex without thinking about the consequences. It was an honest mistake and could have been so easily prevented. This is what kills me. I could have completely prevented this had I been more careful, observant etc. Now I'm stuck with this lifelong disease that is surrounded by so much stigma. My boyfriend is comfortable with my have the disease but I am fearful that if we were ever to part ways, I don't know how I'd ever be able to be with anyone else intimately.

I feel disgusted, ashamed and like I am extremely dirty.

Furthermore, my parents are very traditional and engaging in sexual activities before marriage is considered to be against the rules. So I can't tell my parents nor do I feel comfortable sharing this with any of my friends. I feel like I would be judged instantly.

My question for you, is how do you cope? Does anyone have any strategies that have worked for them?

Furthermore, the most important thing for me is to try to prevent future outbreaks. After doing extensive research, I've learned that there are people that only experience outbreaks [painful and obvious ones atleast] once in a few years. I can't bear to go through this kind of pain and would love to hear about any tips on how to prevent an outbreak.

Currently things that I have found useful are: taking antivirals, sitz baths and apply ice to the area for a few minutes can provide comfort, using a blow drier (on a low setting) can help keep the area dry without the discomfort of using a towel and taking some sort of pain killer (ibuprofen, Tylenol or advil can alleviate some of the pain).

Does anyone have any tips for how to prevent painful urination? I think that this is the part that I dread the most because of how much it hurts.

Sorry for ranting and thanks in advance everyone!

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Old 07-11-2013, 10:52 AM   #2
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 2
Mmbb HB User
Re: How to live with knowing you have herpes

Hey Movingonalready, I too am worried that I have herpes. For the past 3 or so days, I've had an uncontrollable itch in my vaginal region & honestly didn't think much of it. Until I looked in a mirror.... I have one particular large bump, that isn't red, it's actually white. & then about 3 other small bumps, but they aren't filled with fluid. Is this what you experience? At this point I'm pretty much positive I have the infection, because I had an outbreak last year as well. I had a pretty bad cold sore on my upper lip, right smack dab in the middle of my lip. Honestly, I was devastated at the thought of having this disease. But after I applied Abreva on it, it slowly but surely disappeared. I had completely disregarded it afterwards, since I was kind of in denial. & Sincerely started to believe that I was fine, that maybe I was just under too much stress or something. But now I know, or at least am 95% sure I have herpes. But it isn't painful whatsoever. It itches a lot, though. I too contracted it from my ex boyfriend, who I believe knew he had it, just denied telling me. But anyways, I've read that this STI isn't life threatening, & it's truly nothing to be contemplating suicide or anything over. Which I'm not going to lie, I was hoping it really wasn't something so severe that I'd rethink life maybe once or twice. But maybe with support & medication, this won't be such a horrible thing, as people often like to make it seem....

Old 07-12-2013, 10:27 AM   #3
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States of America
Posts: 26
Gatori HB User
Re: How to live with knowing you have herpes

Sounds like you have genital HSV-1. It's better than having genital HSV-2. The genitals aren't HSV-1's site of choice, so outbreaks will be less severe and you will have a smaller chance of viral shedding. Plus HSV-1 outbreaks usually happen 1-2 times a year.

The only thing you can do at the moment is mitigate the symptoms and try not to spread it around.

Who knows? Medical science is a fascinating field, a cure may be found in the upcoming years.

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