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  • Herpes-Feeling guilty.

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    Old 11-03-2013, 06:27 PM   #1
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    Herpes-Feeling guilty.

    Hi, I am new to this site, and hope to get some great advice and support here.

    I have had HSV1 in the genitals for about five years now. I have told all my partners I am sexually active with, and have been very open with them.

    I made one mistake. And I cannot let it go. I have OCD so that might be the big culprit here.

    I was very drunk one night with a guy friend. We were on and off, on and off. We drank too much, and had oral sex. I did not tell him about my diagnosis, because I was not even in the right state of mind. It barely lasted that long, and the next day I felt absolutely horrible. We did not have sexual intercourse though.

    I know it was wrong, so I immediately went to my therapist and two close friends for help. Through all the advice, unless anything happened (cold sores on his mouth), I would not tell. Nothing ever happened, and I'm almost positive he's had physicals since then.

    I forgot about it, and moved on, relieved that nothing bad happened, and I learned a big lesson-even though telling is hard, I need to!

    It's been two years and I have a close friendship with this person now. All of a sudden the guilt has come rushing back. Why is that? It's been running through my head that I need to tell him, but logically it makes absolutely no sense.

    My therapist and close friend told me I need to move on and forgive myself. I agree. But I always have this fear he will find out through someone I have HSV and be upset.

    How do I get past this guilt? He has anxiety, and I certainly don't want to make him more anxious. I think the only reason I would tell him is to relieve my guilt.

    Thanks so much for a positive community here-I'd appreciate any constructive help.


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    Old 11-05-2013, 10:01 AM   #2
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    Re: Herpes-Feeling guilty.

    Count your blessings! It could be worse, he could have caught it! I have a lot of anxiety so if it were me I would not want to know. If I knew I would trip out on it, bad! Learn a lesson and move on I say! Be more careful though, herpes can be very dangerous for some people(like me). I often think about writing the person that gave it to me and telling them how bad it has effected my life. I know one day it will kill me, it's just a matter of time. The kiss of death!

    Old 11-06-2013, 06:33 PM   #3
    Solitary Jerk
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    Re: Herpes-Feeling guilty.

    This is the way I look at it... Generally, Herpes is just a skin disorder that is occasionally contagious. If you didn't give it to him and you're not planning on having any other sexual contact with him, then there's nothing to worry about. If you ARE considering having more sexual contact, then you should let him know.

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    disclosure, guilt, herpes, hsv1

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