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04-24-2020, 08:45 AM

I have read several posts where there are monogamist couples where the wife has tested positive for HPV. My wife and I have been married 26 years and to the best of my knowledge we both have been monogamist. She has tested positive for HPV and has cervical cancer. She has had annual Paps and has always been clear. But this year she has cervical cancer as I said. Through all these threads there seems to be the same underlying issue. The male is automatically blamed. That is my case. How can I handle this? Because of the coved-19 virus I can not even go to her doctors appointments with her. I go but I have to wait in the car. I do not even know what the doctor is telling her? I need advice!

04-24-2020, 11:06 AM

The virus can lay dormant for decades. Just because she tested positive today doesn't mean she - or you - have been unfaithful during your marriage. I'm sorry you can't go with her to the doctor as he/she could really help you understand this better. In fact, if either of your mothers had it, it could have been passed on to you during pregnancy, birth or breast feeding. You'll most likely never know where this came from so focus on her treatment and supporting her as she goes thru this.

04-24-2020, 01:09 PM

Thank you! I've talked to my personal physician and he told me pretty much the same thing. She's convinced I gave it to her. I just want her to get well and live a long healthy life.

04-24-2020, 02:04 PM

Also, having HPV does not mean she has cervical cancer... there are 21 strains of HPV- only 2 of them CAN CAUSE Cervical cancer... if she has either of these strains, she may need to do a Colposcopy test, which is done in the office..depending on the results of this- they could do several procedures in the office, outpatient surgery center or hospital.. only if they discover that this has been existing for YEARS (as in she hasnt had a Pap in many years) would this automatically points towards cervical cancer and potentially a hysterectomy.

I went through this after 16 years of marriage,,,, you will never know when this was gotten- and based on how long you have been married I am going to guess you both met and married in the 80s- a time when no one knew about HPV.

Sorry you are getting the brunt of this...give her time to accept it. In my case, it means extra testing every year, but I have never had to go through any surgery type procedure for this.

04-24-2020, 02:17 PM

No, sadly she has cervical cancer. Early stages but we had a biopsy. Surgery is in a few weeks.

Your exactly correct. Been together since 88' but married and monogamous since 94'.

Thank you!

04-24-2020, 03:31 PM

I am sorry Warrior..it does happen and I am sorry it happened to you wife. As I said, I go for screenings beyond just a yearly Pap every year, so I know what its like to live with the fear.

I think I would rather have the surgery and be done with it than go through these tests every year. I wish her the best. Hang tough..

04-24-2020, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSNik

I am sorry Warrior..it does happen and I am sorry it happened to you wife. As I said, I go for screenings beyond just a yearly Pap every year, so I know what its like to live with the fear.

I think I would rather have the surgery and be done with it than go through these tests every year. I wish her the best. Hang tough..

She’s going to. Just hoping the cancer doesn’t spread. 😢

Hpv

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