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  • My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

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    Old 07-28-2009, 07:09 AM   #1
    jumpfesta
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    Unhappy My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    I am 27 yrs
    After missing paps for a number of years I finally decided to get a pap done at a free clinic, A few weeks later I learnt that my pap came back abnormal. I wasn't too worried then because I didn't know at that time that I had several strands of HPV in my system. I finally found a gyn and did a pap and hpv testing. It took two weeks for the results to come back and I learnt that I had HPV and ASCUS, my gyn recommended a colp/biopsy. The Biopsy hurt alot and I cried, two weeks later my biopsy results came back normal, she told me to come back in three months and get another pap. So I went back in three months and the results were the same, HPV with ascus but she realized that I had BV, she gave me a prescription told me to come back in three months. I went back three months later and learnt that I now have High grade dysplasia and I was devastated.

    I will be going for another Biopsy and I am so scared. I keep on thinking what ifs, what if I get cancer, what if I can't have anymore kids, what if I die and leave my daughter behind. I have been plagued with all these feelings everyday I feel dizzy, I feel like I am about to fall apart, I have so many regrets on how I lived my life, so many things I wish I could take back. I dont feel strong today, I feel weak and defeated but I hope that everything will get better

     
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    Old 07-28-2009, 11:14 AM   #2
    Pickle Eyes
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    Re: My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    ((((hugs))))) and take some deep breaths. Seriously. Let's take this one step at a time.

    The good news is that you are going to the doctor! The good news is that your doctor is being proactive and that you are going to your follow up appointments!

    Do you know what type of biopsies the doctor has done? colposcopy with pinch/punch biopsies? ECC (endocervical curettage)? LEEP?

    When are you scheduled to go back?

    ((((hugs))))

     
    Old 07-28-2009, 01:30 PM   #3
    jumpfesta
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    Re: My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Pickle Eyes View Post
    ((((hugs))))) and take some deep breaths. Seriously. Let's take this one step at a time.

    The good news is that you are going to the doctor! The good news is that your doctor is being proactive and that you are going to your follow up appointments!

    Do you know what type of biopsies the doctor has done? colposcopy with pinch/punch biopsies? ECC (endocervical curettage)? LEEP?

    When are you scheduled to go back?

    ((((hugs))))
    Thanks for the reply pickcle, it means alot

    My biopsy is tomorrow jul/28. I am not sure what colp she did but she did put a vinegar solution and took a small part from my cervix. When my first colp results came back normal she didn't tell me what she saw during the colp. My pap after the biopsy is when she told me she had seen a white spot and had biopsied it but it came back normal, I don't understand why she didn't tell me that she saw that during the biopsy.

    The funny thing is I don't remember her using a microscope to see my cervix during the biopsy. During my last pap she stated that she didnt see any white spot and she believed everything was fine. How could she see any spots when she was just doing a regular pap and if everything looked ok how the heck did my dysplasia jumped from atypical to high grade dysplasia. My gyn doesn't tell me much she just tell me not to worry everything will be fine, she hardly talks to me and my visit normal last the most 9 to 10 min and if I dont ask questions she doesnt explain much. Please pray for me.

     
    Old 07-28-2009, 05:54 PM   #4
    Pickle Eyes
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    Re: My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    It sounds like it is time to find another doctor! Any doctor who brushes off their patient doesn't deserve treating that patient (in my humble opinion).

    You need to remember that a pap is a screening tool, not a diagnostic tool. It also only samples the areas the doctor scrapes. The doctor could very easily miss a spot. I suspect this is what happened to you. It is entirely possible that the pap just didn't indicate the extent of the problem.

    Before doing the colpo, the doctor swabs the outer cervix with a vinegar-type solution. It causes atypical spots to turn white. Doctors do not do this during a pap. During the colpo, the doctor focuses the colposcope (the microscope-thing) and looks at the various areas of the cervix, focusing on white spots. The doctor then takes a biopsy of the areas he/she can. The colposcopy gives the doctor a MUCH better idea of what the outer cervix looks like than a pap does.

    You might ask your doctor about doing an ECC (endocervical curettage) at your next colpo. It is the only non-surgical way a doctor can sample the cells in the cervical canal. The cells on the outer cervix are different from those in the cervical canal, that's why the ECC is also important, especially when there is an active HPV.

    You are in my prayers! (((hugs)))

    Let us know how your appointment goes!

     
    Old 07-29-2009, 12:16 AM   #5
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    Re: My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    " have been plagued with all these feelings everyday I feel dizzy, I feel like I am about to fall apart, I have so many regrets on how I lived my life, so many things I wish I could take back. I dont feel strong today, I feel weak and defeated but I hope that everything will get better "

    Oh honey I know that feeling, Im battling it myself I have high grade dysplasia as well as a spot my doctor calls "almost cancer" I had missed my annual paps for a few years, and not been as careful as I should have in the past (sexual partners). I just had a feeling that something was not right within my body when I went for my pap. A few days later I get a call and told that I had an abnormal pap and need to schedule a colposcopy. I was soooo scared but i was trying to be optomisitc. I could mentally barely handle this, then to find out I have hpv, the cancer causing strain, and HAVE to have a Leep for treatment. I again, barely made it through that last week. After I had it done I had a short feeling of relief and peace, Then I got to worrying again about all the what ifs....and I just had to think about all those things i felt i couldnt get through, and I survived it! I just made the decision to educate myself on all this, talk to people going through the same thing and live as healthy as i can because stress manifests itself in scary ways and i dont want that. My doctor is positive she treated it all and im now just waiting on the results they sent off.

    oh I have an amazing doctor and i suggest if you dont feel 110% comfortable with yours to find a new one you trust! I recently moved to southern cali, no doctors would even get me in for like 3-4 monthes! It was just a sign for me to keep m doctor who i love so ive had to fly in for my appointments to date but having a doctor you trust, and who informs you about whats going on, is more of a relief & comfort than you'll ever know.
    Sorry it was sooo long lol i just want you to know you are not alone and you will get through this!!! Good luck hun!

     
    Old 07-29-2009, 10:12 AM   #6
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    Re: My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    Thank you so much Pickleface and marine wifey for all your support really

    I did another biopsy/endocervix (curettage) today, I was so scared I cried like a baby, the doc had to give me half an hour to get an hold of myself. She came back in the room and asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital and do it under anesthesia because she didn't want me to become the 1% that gets cervical cancer, I got brave really fast and told her that I was ready for her to do. She told me she saw one white spot and took a biopsy of it. She told me she is not worried because I am young and should recover well, I really hope so. I asked her for all my records because my insurance has changed since I was laid off, I now have health first. She recomended me to an oncologist who takes my insurance. OK one white spot not so bad huh? I have tracked my cell changes since I was first told about my abnormal pap it looks like this. Please keep me in your prayers
    results
    05/21/09 (pap) Atypical endocervical cells
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    11/10/08 (pap,HPV test) HPV+ with Atypical endocervical cells
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    12/04/08 (Endocervix curettage) Fragments of benignendocervix and
    superficial benigh sqamous epithelium
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    03/26/09(pap, hpv test) hpv+,Atypical squamos cells , cannot exclude
    high grade sqamous intraepithelial lesion
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    07/08/09(pap, HPv test) HPV+ high grade intraepithelial lesion (HSIL)
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

     
    Old 07-29-2009, 10:51 AM   #7
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    Re: My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    The atypical endocervical cells is concerning. I'm glad your doctor has referred you to a gyn/onc. They are much better trained on how to handle those types of cells than regular ob/gyns.

    I hope you are feeling well!

     
    Old 07-29-2009, 01:06 PM   #8
    jumpfesta
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    Re: My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    Thank you pickle eyes for your support is is much valued

    At this point everythings is concerning to me. I was ok today after I left my gyn but now I have some how convinced myself that I have cervical cancer, I feel like I am already dead, like I should be writing my will and letters to my daughter. This is by far the hardest situation that I have ever been in. It sad because I am finally found someone that I see my self marrying and reality is I might not be able to bear children after all the things they might have to do with my cervix. I never thought I would ever have to face something like this, I am only 27 and here I am feeling like a dead woman walking, I am so friggen sad, my doc told me to be strong, I have no concept of that right now, I feel weaker than I have ever felt in my life. please keep me in your prayers

     
    Old 07-29-2009, 01:23 PM   #9
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    Re: My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    I know this can be very difficult. Take everything one moment at a time. You don't have to tackle all of this right now. (((hugs)))

     
    Old 07-30-2009, 08:06 AM   #10
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    Re: My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    Thank you so much for your reply pickleeyes
    I go through my moments, today is a little better. All I can do is wait for the results of my biopsy next week. And if required I will do the cone biopsy. Please keep me in your prayers.

     
    Old 07-30-2009, 10:53 AM   #11
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    Re: My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    You got it, Jumpfesta! I've already said a prayer!

     
    Old 07-30-2009, 11:35 AM   #12
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    Re: My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    jumpfesta...you are not the only one who will go through this! i am 24 years old and i was diagnosed with HPV and level 3 dysplasia when i was 19! and i had a yearly pap smear EVERY year since i was 16, so how did it happen so fast, that's what i always asked myself. anyways i did the biopsy, cytofreeze, and pap smears every 3 mo the first year and every 6 mo the second year and every year like clock work now. i understand exactly how you feel right now because i felt that same way a few years ago. it's god's test to see how you will handle this, keep him happy!!! he just decided to take you down a very short dirt road with all the bumps included! you will make it through this, i promise!! you are in our prayers!! oh and speaking of pap smears...i got a dr appt tomorrow for one! just be compliant with all medical treatment and it will be ok!

     
    Old 07-30-2009, 01:21 PM   #13
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    Re: My battle with hpv/ high grade dysplasia

    Thank you so much pickle eyes and Kandr you support is most appreciated than you know.
    I went to the organic food store today and stack up on some healthy foods and I went to GNC and got some vitamins. I havnt treated my body well these last few months eating the fattiest foods late and bumming cigarettes. No more smoking for me or eating unhealthy I really want to treat myself better. Kandr good luck with everything and Pickle You are such a trooper I love it.
    Hugs to both of you.

     
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