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If dating, how and when do you tell about hpv?

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Old 01-02-2010, 01:55 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2010
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blueskiesup HB User
If dating, how and when do you tell about hpv?

If you have HPV and you are single, do you date? Do you let potential partners know about your HPV? How and when?? How did your partner react? I would like to hear stories.

I was diagnosed in high and low HPV about 1 year ago. Since then I've broken up with the guy who I thought gave it to me and I haven't made any effort to date anyone. Partially, it's because my life is on hold until I can reverse my mild dysplasia (it's currently somewhere between an ASCUS and a CIN-1, I'm doing lots of supplements, vaginal suppositories, acupunture, psychotherapy, stress reduction, diet changes, and exercise). Once you "get rid" of the virus (as in no dyplasia and the virus is not detected in tests anymore), do you need to tell people that you used to have this/it may be latent in your body? One OB/GYN told me I'd have it forever and another that once I test negative, it's gone.

I have seen what happens to people who are honest with potential partners about HPV--the potential partner tells her friends and roommates, friends an roomates tell their friends and have people 3 or 4 degrees removed saying that you have genital warts and giggling about it. How do I ever start dating again with HPV? What man in his right mind would stay with someone who could expose him to genital warts and a virus that causes cancer? If I choose to not ever tell, and I meet a man who I eventually marry and have a life I keep this terrible secret from him for the rest of my life? It so unfair...the guys who give this disease to us have no test for it, suffer no ill consequences, and usually never even know they are carriers. Meanwhile, I live like a leper.

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Old 01-06-2010, 05:04 AM   #2
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1
whiteraven87 HB User
Re: If dating, how and when do you tell about hpv?

It really depends on how you act when you talk to people about it. I have told nearly everyone I know(except family) and everyone has been completely understanding. And through this method I have actually met a few people who have it also. I think if your talking to a partner about it be open and honest but don't act like you are damage goods, explain how common the virus is and how easily contractable it is. I have had noone take the **** out of me so far. Btw on another not I don't particulary appriciate the comment "It so unfair...the guys who give this disease to us have no test for it, suffer no ill consequences" I am a guy who caught it off a girl who may or may not have known she had it. I have genital warts and would feel terrible giving them to anyone else. I have no idea if i have high risk as they don't test for it. And talking to many of my female friends although they have had sex with multiple partners protected and unprotected they have never had a sexual health check, whereas most guys I know including myself have had one after every 2 or so partners. Anyway dating is possible so don't worry about it too much, I may be lucky though as the next potential partner I get with i am going to suggest the hpv vaccine to them and I don't think it will be too long till men can get it so then you can suggest it too.
Chin up,

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